Every piece of plastic shit you see in the toy store has a label on it now saying Plays Enriching Classical Music! I guess Mattel and Fisher Price haven’t given up on the Mozart Effect quite yet, not as long as some parent somewhere believes that a few bars of of “Fur Elise” will boost his ten-month-old’s I.Q. Jackson has ended up with four or five toys that play bits of Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, and John Philip Sousa, but the one that makes me go hmmm is the spinning Mickey Mouse head that plays Beethoven’s Ninth and Pop Goes the Weasel. And the box doesn’t even tell you what pieces of music your stupid toy is playing! Is that Rimsky-Korsakov? I think so, but I won’t ever really know unless I take this moronic flashing little giraffe to my local classical record store, will I?
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Let's Panic About Babies! is a book I wrote with the delightful Alice Bradley. You will like it if you are currently pregnant, if you have children, or if you have absolutely no intention of having children. Not just because it's funny, but because you can burn it to stay warm.
Clicking on the cover will take you to the publisher's web site, clicking here will take you to Amazon.com, or, you can go to Let's Panic! the web site, preview some of the material in the book, and read a whole lot of bonus stuff we post for free when we feel like it, which isn't often anymore. It's a full-time job managing the enormous wealth that comes from writing a fake parenting book.
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