1. No pit bulls — female yellow or chocolate labs, but not black

2. It is now acceptably manly to wear a helmet while cycling

3. A t-shirt is okay while napping, but not pants

4. Pizza only from Giovanni’s

5. Fender basses

6. It is appropriate to greet white half-Irish baby son with the phrase, “What’s up, Ne-gro?”

7. Don’t come crying to me

8. Fresh herbs — always

9. Wife must be dissuaded from wanting a black car because she will not wash it more than twice a year and it will look like shit

10. Yankees, Lakers, Raiders, in that order