Impressive, or just wrong
Normally, doing yoga is one of those things that just makes life better for me. Mood better, muscles better, sleep better, food tastes fantastic, I can hear colors . . . no wait, that was that weekend in high school when we smoked twenty-six joints. Aaanyway, yesterday I was doing my yoga thing, and I was in a hurry because I had to get back home to pay off the babysitter (no, I am NOT one of those lazy, bloodsucking moms who spend all day shopping and going to the gym, so BE QUIET). Toward the end of my yoga routine, I was doing urdhva padmasana*, but I wasn’t thinking too much about it, the mind was wandering, perhaps I was staring at my navel and referencing my pregnant neighbor who sashays around in a bikini with her belly button popped out. But no, it’s not a good idea to let your mind wander when you’re balancing on your shoulders and you’re sweaty and weak and your legs are tied up in a knot. So I lost my balance for a millisecond and, to keep from being brained by my own shinbones and to prevent my spine from popping out through my back, I quickly had to call upon some muscles unfamiliar with the task of keeping me upright while upside down. Hence I woke up this morning and couldn’t move my neck. Which is fun. It’s fun to do some potentially crippling yoga pose for three and a half years without damaging yourself, and then to wake up one morning and wonder if there’s enough Ben Gay in the world.
* This means balancing on your shoulders with your chin smushed into your collarbones, with your legs in lotus, i.e., crossed with each foot on the opposite thigh, and your hands on your knees. This picture isn’t quite what I was doing, but it’s pretty impressive, huh? Impressive or just wrong, your choice.