I realize that I did not try hard enough in the previous entry. I had all sorts of opportunities to finagle some witty tangents out of “blow” and “goo” and “Krust” and I just didn’t make the effort. If I had made the effort, you know, to please someone who just tumbled onto this site without any previous love for the Boogermuffin and his swanky sweater collection, it would probably have ended up being all curse-filled and hard-bitten with veiled references to porn stars in a totally unnecessary effort to hook those busy blogsurfers who get turned off when they think they’ve found a site filled with baby updates and recipes for homemade play dough* so they don’t stick around for all my deep poetic insights and hoary reminiscences about my first pair of ice skates. So really, maybe it’s better that I cut it short and made some phone calls and took Jackson to watch me change my car insurance policy instead of finely crafting a blog entry to appeal to an imaginary 24-year-old cubicle-dwelling male who’s pretending to work, because I certainly don’t need one more asshole looking for kiddie porn to Google me up and then hit the bricks when he doesn’t find what he’s looking for, resulting in another false hit on the old site stat meter. So if that’s what you came looking for, why not go make some play dough instead? Use some food coloring! It’ll take your sweaty little mind off things for a while.
*Homemade Play Dough
The secret ingredient here is cream of tartar. This recipe makes play dough that is not grainy like uncooked play dough and keeps for a long time.
4 cups flour
1 cup salt
4 cups water
4 tablespoons oil
1/2 cup cream of tartar
Mix all ingredients in a sauce pan. Cook and stir over low/medium heat until play dough is completely formed and no longer sticky. Allow to cool slightly before storing in an airtight container or zip lock bag.
Adding a package of unsweetened KoolAid will make it smell good, too. Enjoy!