Monthly Archives: July 2003

This is what happens after you cough up $89 for a VillaWare Farmyard Waffle Maker: Me (putting plate in front of Jackson): Here’s your waffle! Jackson: (looks at plate silently) Me: It’s a barn! Jackson: (no response) Me: A barn … Continue reading →

I’m sure you have fantastic taste in music. To me, that last Beck thing was kind of disappointing. I’m indecisive to the point of narcolepsy about the latest Liz Phair. Jack won’t take the new Jane’s Addiction out of his … Continue reading →

I went to have my eyes examined the other day because everything I read was all blurry and squinty and I was hoping I needed glasses. Because I’ve always wanted to wear glasses. People who wear glasses just look smarter … Continue reading →

I don’t know about your blog, but one of the reasons this blog is so bulimically narcissisical and full of stuff that is probably only interesting to myself (hence the negative numbers in my site stats) (god, I could talk … Continue reading →

Adventures in Child Psychology of the Damned XIII Jack: Want to go for a ride in the truck? Jackson: NO! (pause) Jack: How about now? Jackson: Okay. Monkey See, Monkey Learn to Rap (phone rings) Me: Hello? Jack (in background): … Continue reading →

Remember in Chasing Amy how she was all busy being this sexual rebel, making out with girls in public (::yawn::), and then she had this shocking realization that what she really wanted to do was hunker down and pick the … Continue reading →

If there was such a thing, Cowboy Sally would win Fussy Internet Crush of the Month. “My adolescent mind fogged over. Porn or guns? PORN OR GUNS?!?“

I know that most kids enjoy repetition — Jackson has been known to ask us to rewind certain movie scenes four or five times in a row, especially if they involve oompa loompas — but I’ve realized that many grownups, … Continue reading →

Okay, Gay World: I’ll give you Elijah Wood but get your mitts off Tobey Maguire.

I got this link and a friendly note from Caitlin yesterday (because unlike the rest of you, waiting for the death post to go up, she just assumed I was still alive and would respond to e-mail). At first I … Continue reading →