I love posting about my health on the Internet because Hey! Free diagnosis! A couple of years back I was kind of depressed and tired, the Internet decided it was my thyroid. My doctor didn't agree, and, frankly, neither did my thyroid, but the comments were great.
Now this whole gallbladder thing has been a real education. Because y'all convinced me to finally get an ultrasound. Actually, a pretty good three-and-a-half-on-a-scale-of-ten pain on my right side that lasted for about twelve hours made the phone call. And guess what they found. Nothing. Nothing!
So either the herbs and acupuncture worked and I passed a gallstone, or, continuing with the theories of Dr. John "You're diverting all your anger into your lower back so you won't have to feel your emotional pain" Sarno, Christiane "align your chakras and cure your PMS" Northrup, and George "put a glide in your stride and a dip in your hip, and get on board the mothership" Clinton, my emotional body needs a love transfusion.
Now this whole gallbladder thing has been a real education. Because y'all convinced me to finally get an ultrasound. Actually, a pretty good three-and-a-half-on-a-scale-of-ten pain on my right side that lasted for about twelve hours made the phone call. And guess what they found. Nothing. Nothing!
So either the herbs and acupuncture worked and I passed a gallstone, or, continuing with the theories of Dr. John "You're diverting all your anger into your lower back so you won't have to feel your emotional pain" Sarno, Christiane "align your chakras and cure your PMS" Northrup, and George "put a glide in your stride and a dip in your hip, and get on board the mothership" Clinton, my emotional body needs a love transfusion.
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Two men have been out drinking. they are walking home and telling jokes. As they are walking over this large bridge they stop to pee.
As they are peeing off the side of the bridge one man says to the other
"This water is cold" (man 1)
"YEA and it's deep too" (man2)
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Air Freshener
An Avon lady was going in an elevator when she suddenly had to fart. She promptly reached into her bag and sprayed the air with her deodorizer.
Two floors later a gentleman got into the elevator. he began to sniff.
The Avon lady asked' "Do you smell something?"
"Well, yes, I do" he replied.
"What does it smell like?"
"Hmmm, I'm not sure, but it kind of smells like someone shit in a pine tree." :)
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Angry Midget
One day a man was pissing in a public bathroom and a midget walked in and set up a step-ladder. When the man looked down, he noticed the midget staring at his balls.
"Excuse me, sir," said the midget. "I was just really admiring your balls. Mind if I hold them?"
"Why not?" said the man.
So the midget grabs onto one of his balls and says, "Now give me your wallet or I'll jump!"
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