First of all, this scone recipe from Alton Brown, who is apparently some sort of food-television personality, judging by the little thumbnail portrait of him on the recipe page? And he looks like he's tsk-tsking you for buying expired bargain hamburger meat? Whatever, Alton, those scones were freaking awesome, especially if you mixed in a handful of semi-sweet mini chocolate chips, and used heavy whipping cream instead of regular cream because that's all you had in the refridgerator because you hadn't really checked your shopping list ahead of time, you just flang yourself into your baking project all willy nilly and arms akimbo.
Secondly, my favorite post so far this year includes this possibly stroke-inducing paragraph: "A weird thing happened as I pulled into my driveway. I took a big drink of chai, and before I swallowed, I completely forgot that I had taken a drink. And then I freaked out because my mouth was full of something, and I had no idea what. And then, Oh! I must have taken a drink of chai! And I swallowed."
One of the reasons this post appeals to me so much is because at some point while in the shower I made three new year's resolutions, and then as soon as I got out of the shower I forgot what they were. I think I'd read my horoscope and possibly believed the planets and stars want me to laugh more this year, and also make a pile of money. And maybe read the Bible? Because I always never do that and some people get so angry that I don't know all about the salvation of my eternal soul, and not just mine but my poor unbaptized little heathen baby boy's. And every great once in awhile some one of them gets all up in my grill about it and I'm all like, Whoa! Practice forgiveness, motherfucker!
THREE, I'm just giving the hell up on my yoga practice this year. It is not humanly possible for me to fit a two-hour Ashtanga yoga session into my day by going to the yoga shala, whose doors open at 4:40 a.m. for my convenience. Get my ass out of bed at that hour do my practice with at least half a mind and then race to get home so Jack can get to the job site by 7 a.m.? YEAH, RIGHT. My other yoga option is to go in the evening, which pushes dinner up to an ungainly and not-very-child-friendly 7:30 p.m. Option three is to motivate my lazy ass to do it at home on my days off, in the morning, when no one's around, which would, you know, probably work just fine. Fuck. I guess I'll be doing yoga this year after all.
My other favorite post so far this year, even though I've linked to her twice in a month and I promise I'll stop, is this, for a number of reasons apart from it being a superior and free-of-charge Internet offering. One: people who do have to do chemo with their feet and hands in tubs of ice water? Jesus god. And two: I didn't know what a farrier was when I read the first mention of it in this post but I didn't look it up in the hope that the context would bring the meaning alive, and lo and behold it was given unto me.
I was kind of let down after such a lovely Christmas as I had. I was blue. Depressed, even. Not suicidal or anything, but rather intensely melancholy, and actually it kind of felt good. Once I stopped fighting it and decided it was okay to push a cart around Vons with a frown on my face I realized it could be kind of healing to curl up inside myself and not talk very much.
It also lead to the most gigantic fight of my married life. I won't go into details but some shit had been building up and together we went to the brink of the marriage abyss. And I found something I needed there, too. Every once in awhile events conspire to make me remember who I am, and I think it was really helpful for the two of us to hate each other's fucking guts and then wake up a couple of days later and realize that we still really loved each other.
Yeah, I know, I'm kind of new to this whole self-acceptance thing.
Happy new year!
Secondly, my favorite post so far this year includes this possibly stroke-inducing paragraph: "A weird thing happened as I pulled into my driveway. I took a big drink of chai, and before I swallowed, I completely forgot that I had taken a drink. And then I freaked out because my mouth was full of something, and I had no idea what. And then, Oh! I must have taken a drink of chai! And I swallowed."
One of the reasons this post appeals to me so much is because at some point while in the shower I made three new year's resolutions, and then as soon as I got out of the shower I forgot what they were. I think I'd read my horoscope and possibly believed the planets and stars want me to laugh more this year, and also make a pile of money. And maybe read the Bible? Because I always never do that and some people get so angry that I don't know all about the salvation of my eternal soul, and not just mine but my poor unbaptized little heathen baby boy's. And every great once in awhile some one of them gets all up in my grill about it and I'm all like, Whoa! Practice forgiveness, motherfucker!
THREE, I'm just giving the hell up on my yoga practice this year. It is not humanly possible for me to fit a two-hour Ashtanga yoga session into my day by going to the yoga shala, whose doors open at 4:40 a.m. for my convenience. Get my ass out of bed at that hour do my practice with at least half a mind and then race to get home so Jack can get to the job site by 7 a.m.? YEAH, RIGHT. My other yoga option is to go in the evening, which pushes dinner up to an ungainly and not-very-child-friendly 7:30 p.m. Option three is to motivate my lazy ass to do it at home on my days off, in the morning, when no one's around, which would, you know, probably work just fine. Fuck. I guess I'll be doing yoga this year after all.
My other favorite post so far this year, even though I've linked to her twice in a month and I promise I'll stop, is this, for a number of reasons apart from it being a superior and free-of-charge Internet offering. One: people who do have to do chemo with their feet and hands in tubs of ice water? Jesus god. And two: I didn't know what a farrier was when I read the first mention of it in this post but I didn't look it up in the hope that the context would bring the meaning alive, and lo and behold it was given unto me.
I was kind of let down after such a lovely Christmas as I had. I was blue. Depressed, even. Not suicidal or anything, but rather intensely melancholy, and actually it kind of felt good. Once I stopped fighting it and decided it was okay to push a cart around Vons with a frown on my face I realized it could be kind of healing to curl up inside myself and not talk very much.
It also lead to the most gigantic fight of my married life. I won't go into details but some shit had been building up and together we went to the brink of the marriage abyss. And I found something I needed there, too. Every once in awhile events conspire to make me remember who I am, and I think it was really helpful for the two of us to hate each other's fucking guts and then wake up a couple of days later and realize that we still really loved each other.
Yeah, I know, I'm kind of new to this whole self-acceptance thing.
Happy new year!
52 Comments:
Happy New Year, and glad to hear that others have gone to the brink of bliss and made it back. We've done it a time before, and we are all the better for it.
Alton Brown is quite possibly my saviour. He is like the Bill Nye the Science Guy of the culinary world. He rocks my socks. And your scones.
Ditto the Alton love. Not only have you made me laugh, but have given me the true definition of "enormity" via "I Blame the Patriachy." I'm horrified that I didn't know it before.
Happy New Year! You seem so self aware but also aware that you might not have a self or you might be several selves---how much more aware could you be than that.
Sort of related--Did you know that when you write comments here on the botton it says 'choose an identity.' So EVERYTIME I have to choose an identity to write a comment here. Why, you are making all of us here confront ourselves, and not merely growing in your own self awareness.
I'm glad to hear
1. you are still going to do yoga.
2. the hating is over so the love can begin.
3. that you have invented the best phrase in the history of the world or at least in 2006 so far "I always never..." Always never plus some pronoun is going to be hot this year. I mean that. I'm using it starting today.
LOVE Alton Brown.....he is so freaking smart. Seriously - check out his show.
Glad to hear you went to the edge, peered over and took a leap of faith - but not over the edge....or something. Okay - trying to be profound after 6 hours of looking at code is hard. Fuck.
I have to agree that the Alton scones are the best. I actually made them as a x-mas present for my brother. And also used heavy cream because, well, it was there. They are just as tasty brushed with milk and then sugar poured over that. Yum!
On the cancer/chemo note...I actually work at an oncology center. And although I'm not a nurse, I have heard of this...and worse. Don't get cancer. Do all you can to prevent it even tho it's nearly impossible to know. (Have you heard of the study where women with a specific mutated gene have up to a 70% reduced rick of breast cancer with 6 cups of coffee a day??)
Well, with that, here's to a new year!
Thanks for writing!
i derive some great comfort from thinking that you and jack have fought gigantically and yet gotten through it. i can't exactly explain it but it is comforting.
Self-awareness. Its better than elf-awareness. Because thats just wierd...
This post should have a warning message, or something. "Caution: DEEP!"
Glad to hear you're feeling better, at least.
Damn-- that's one way to start off a new year-- perfect scones, perfect hell, a hell of a fight, angst and an awakening. Christ-- and I thought taking the tree down before February was striking out on a bold, new path.
~Elizabeth
http://bluepoppy.omworks.com
i too have to chime in on the alton brown love - i even bought one of his cookbooks. he likes to explain why exactly it is that you're adding baking soda or using extra virgin olive oil instead of the regular stuff.
Ah, yes. The marriage abyss. Must visit at least once a year.
Happy New Year, Mrs. Kennedy. And good luck with that Yoga-At-Home thing. I'm attempting the same.
yes, sometimes the thing to do is to let yourself be whoever you are, frowing with your grocery cart and all. there is a release in it. i think i need such a day.
i am glad your fight ended well.
My totally non-confrontational self recoiled at even the mention of the marriage abyss, but yay you for coming through to the other side!
Mmmm, Alton Brown Goodness...
Sometimes a little marriage abyss can be as centering as a good yoga session.
Happy New Year from a new reader.
Sorry about the abyss visit, but glad you two came through it. i know i'm always whinging on about my divorce, but i think we can all agree the abyss/recovery option is preferable. hang in there.
It disturbed me a little to read socks and scones in such promximity up there, way before this comment, because I got this image of biscuits topped with sock grit, and that's just disgusting, no matter how clean your floors.
This distracted me for awhile.
But, what I wanted to say is this: It always gladdens my heart to read that couples aside from the one I'm in do, as you wrote, voyage to the brink of the marital abyss. Even temporary misery loves company.
I wonder why EVERY couple doesn't just completely BLOW after the holiday pressure and strain. Glad you feel renewed and peaceful. You've inspired me to get back to yoga. Thanks!
"It also lead to the most gigantic fight of my married life. I won't go into details but some shit had been building up and together we went to the brink of the marriage abyss. And I found something I needed there, too. Every once in awhile events conspire to make me remember who I am, and I think it was really helpful for the two of us to hate each other's fucking guts and then wake up a couple of days later and realize that we still really loved each other."
Must be in the water. Glad I'm not alone!
Dude, FLANG??
I also suffered the post-holiday letdown and then realized it was okay not to fight it. For me, this meant eating my weight in bacon. On the sofa. Watching an MTV True Life marathon. For many, many hours.
I had a dream about mojitos last night, so before you two kids call it splitzville (kidding), would you consider sharing Jack's recipe? A friend is planning a mardi gras party; planning ahead. Good wishes for '06. :)
Bacardimojito.com
I like the word --flang.
I'm secretly in love with Alton Brown, but then I love geeks of any sort. For some reason, however, I can never get his recipes to turn out quite right.
I'm also glad to hear that you're out of the marriage abyss. Like others have said, it must be something in the water. We were at each other's throats here too over some really silly stuff (like how many ornaments to hang on the tree!)
And a "how-to"! Thank you.
Thanks for being willing to talk about the marital abyss. I'm with the PP who found it oddly comforting.
And re. Alton Brown: Did you know it's possible to smoke a salmon in a cardboard box in your backyard? Well, I do. Thank you, Alton!
I love scones, but rarely find good scones in the U.S. The first time I ever had them was in Northern Ireland and so they knew how to bake scones. I definitely will try this recipe. It's nice to find simple recipes. I don't bother to try to make anything complicated. It'd fail without a doubt!
My boyfriend and I have been fighting a lot lately. Guess it must be something in the water, eh?
I think everyone has some sort of holiday blues this time of year.
Glad the fighting led to a great makeup. Happy New Year!
Happy New Year, Mrs. Kennedy! (yea, I'm a bit late, but at least I'm sayin' it.
Never apologize for linking over to I Blame the Patriarchy. Long live Twisty, long live tacos.
And I share your horror about the chemo with the feet and hands in tubs of ice water.
Alton is a god.
His recipe for Prime Rib. His recipe for City Ham. Heck, his recipe for artichokes.
He is a culinary genious and I worship at his shrine.
And I have the gadgets to prove it.
I was just thinking today about your laconic posts. How you frequently manage to convey complexity in 30 words or less, as compared to some--not even just bloggers here, but people--who go on and on and on and...like me.
And then you go and write something longer, and not twisty-turning repetitive, but narrative-like vs. your regular poetry of posting.
What a beginning to the new year--approaching and then backing away from the abyss. We all know where it is, but usually we can detour around it. Bet you didn't even get to drive to it in a cool convertible car.
See, on and on and on...
I agree - Angela's post cracked me up, and while I identified with it frighteningly closely, I'm comforted by the fact that you were too. Forget 'comforted' - try 'honored'.
I find mid-morning is the time I enjoy yoga most. I can't feature an evening yoga session, and 4am is even more unfathomable.
And Kyle and I always joke that spiritually-speaking, we must be in great shape, since we have so many people praying for the salvation of our heathen souls.
Finally, I know the edge of that abyss, and I'm ashamed to admit it was my own damn fault that we ever went there.
I have made Alton's scones, and they are yummy. I always using heavy whipping cream - our general grocery store choices are that or half-and-half, and while I'm sure it would work, it's just not cream in my world!
"use" people, I meant "use". I guess I proofread to fast.
Happy New Year to you too Mrs. Kennedy. I am relatively new to your site and thought that I should lurk no more. Interesting comment about going to the abyss of your marriage, I can relate, soemtimes it takes going to the edge of something in order to think about the consequences of letting go and whether we should indeed 'let go' or just 'be' and see what happens.
In any event, have a happy, healhty and successful 2006. Looking forward to reading more about the fussy life!
Happy New Year. May 2006 be the year of self-acceptance, frowns and all.
sarah
www.silentqueuedesign.com/babyblog
I came in 2nd place at my 7th grade spelling bee. You know the word I lost to? Refrigerator.
I thought there was a D in it because of the word "Fridge"..
Apparently, so do you! Now I don't feel bad.
I could copy and paste your whole last paragraph into here and point and say, "WOW, that is so US." But I won't. :-D
I will say that my husband and I did THE EXACT SAME THING (forgive the capitals, it's freaky to read thoughts in my head written out of someone else's), and I'm glad we did too. Not that fighting is ever enjoyable (at least, not that kind, not that I know of), but we realized after a few days of "I don't like you." "Ah, good, I don't like you either." how much we really do like each other and we are currently incredibly mushy and say "I love you" an awful lot. *deletes sentence* It's nice though I have to wonder why does marriage have to be so damned hard sometimes.
*goes back to lurking and LJ*
Oh, goddamnit. I need spell check.
Stroke-inducing paragraph, indeed. And the shower inspired resolutions? Sounds like something I would do...
Yeah, I've been in the grocery store frowning a lot lately. Still battling with the little angel's sleep, though she is loving her toddler bed a little more, even though she fell out of it last night and somehow did not wake up.
The worst part about frowning in the produce section is when some happy idiot produce worker comes up to you and tells you to smile.
Then you must kill him.
Keep walking past the open windows, as Tom Robbins would say.
Tra la!
*waving hi* and de-lurking.
I too fuzzy red-heart Alton Brown. And although she's a tiny bit annoying, Rachel Ray is up there too!
I enjoy your blog ... your on my daily "look-see" list, Mrs. Kennedy!
Nope, no Alton Brown comment yet.
delurking to say HIYA!
thanks for the link to Blame... somehow she got lost in my shuffle... it's good to rediscover
Hi. My name is Sonja, and I am a lurker. I have also made those scones and am officially in love with them. Yum.
I like coming to this site often, just to see whether your text is centered or not. I like to think it serves as some sort of mood ring, indicating how centered you feel.
It must be the time of year for the most gigantic fight of married life as we too have gone through a similar thing straight after Christmas. Although the fight of April 2005 is still the benchmark for fights of all fights.
If the text is centered you must be using an old version of Exlplorer? You might want to try a real browser, like Firefox.
If you type Define: farrier into google, it will just tell you what it is. I have been on fire with word learning since I learned that trick. One or two steps easier than going to dictionary.com. OK, so I'm a geek.
Hating makes loving so much more fun!
I left a comment before which didn't turn up for whatever reason.
I think I said something about how I like to read about your real and grownup relationship. It makes me feel like, I don't know how to explain it really BUT it makes me feel good. And comforted.
Also, I don't know if you ever do these things but I just tagged you. Tag, you're it! If you want to be!
Okay, here is a little something to cheer you up. Last night was the first night of the composition class I teach. We were going around the room, playing one of those annoying getting-to-know-you games, and one of the guys mentioned he liked math, pizza and...cage-fighting.
Well. It cracked me up, anyway.
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