Last week when all this mucus set in, I don’t know, maybe it started pressing on part of my brain. For several days — during which I posted the possibility that I might never come back — I had the feeling that I needed to keep all my words close to my body, and I felt this acutely within my body, right in the third chakra, the yellow one, I forget what it’s called, or even what it means.
And then I stopped taking Sudafed and got on some antibiotics, and the feeling lifted.
That afternoon, after I’d taken my first dose, Jack had brought Jackson back from the beach and gone back to work and I was watching Jackson in the bath. And I was getting these stomach cramps but kind of trying to breathe right through them (childbirth is such good training for not panicking when your body starts doing something you don’t understand) and Jackson had no idea, he was yapping about what he wanted for a snack.
But with every breath I took the rushing in my ears got a little louder, and the lights got a little dimmer, and when I woke up I was on the bedroom floor in Child’s Pose, if you know what that is, resting with my shoulders on my knees and my forehead on the floor. I just stayed there for awhile, reconnoitering, listening to Jackson in the tub. Then I crawled to the phone and called Jack and asked him politely to come home as soon as he could.
Pirate Fish Vinyl Sticker – White
$5.00
“If you needed something closer to an actual fish, fear not. As global warming increases due to a sharp decline in pirates, which are praised by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, you can stay comfortable in the knowledge that you were touched by his noodly appendage and shall be blessed with a beer volcano and a stripper factory. Sleek in 5″ of tight, white vinyl.”
(I’m not getting paid by the Flying Spaghetti Monster people, I just like the whole thing about pirates and the beer volcano.)
Nice cliffhanger, Tonto. Hope you’re OK.
Sooo…..you ok then?
I feel betrayed by the pirate fish. Apparently he’s covering up the REST of the story…
Glad the dear-internet post was just a fleeting symptom of delerium.
worry…worry…
If these cramps mean what I think they might mean, plain active culture yoghurt helps regulate your intestinal response to the antibiotics.
Be well.
Geez I hope you’re okay. Take good care.
I’m pretty sure it’s just because I’d been feeling so dopey I’d forgotten to eat. For three days.
I was expecting a long post involving a trip to the hospital, maybe a close-call between Katie and a car on your way out the door, some sweaters, a hair cut, a toilet…man, you got me!
Oh, no. Take care of those chakras, kid. Eat something while you’re at it. (((mrs. k)))
Hey, incidentally, I think my mails now go direct to your spam box… wow. Check the unintentional perviness.
Muladhara chakra: associated with the Earth element, can be considered to be the bliss centre for the physical body. Biju mantra LAM.
i’m loving these photo essays intertwined with complicated posts. or maybe it’s just that the posts seem complicated because i’m trying to figure out the relation between the post and the photos. and then deciding that they’re just incidental to one another. and then deciding that i’m just dense and everyone else gets it.
feel better, mrs. k.
wait! so you’re not now ‘sleeping with the pirate fishes’ or some such ominous thing, right? you’re just snotty. and phlegmy. and really f*cking sick. right? (elderberry extract, i’m telling you… it works wonders on the immune system)
feel better.
ya know, as soon as i clicked that comment into existence, i realized how stupid it was for me to say… feel better. i mean… duh.
anyway, what i *meant* to say is that i truly hope you are feeling better. and that you keep feeling better. right up to the point where you feel so freaking good you’re orgasmic.
the end.
Chakras, pirate fish, inflamed squidly spooge, oh no! What’s happening?
Lost. But falling deeper in love due to your appreciation of the pirate/beer volcano.
Gosh.
You really scared me with that razor blade looking rig.
There’s just something magical about the phrase “beer volcano,” isn’t there?
I hope the “feeling like crap” crap is over soonest.
I think we need an action figure photo essay illustrating your chakra and related mucousy angst, complete with bathroom floor child’s pose.
Hope you’re feeling better. Passing out is never fun.
was this illness brought on by the fish sticker? could it be some exotic disease?
pneumonia? We took my 20 y.o. son to the emergency room with intense stomach pain. He had pneumonia. who knew abdominal pain was a symptom.
Hope somebody made YOU a snack and that you’re feeling better. I’m pretty sure a beer volcano will cure what ails you.