It’s Tuesday. You can go now. Thanks!
Saturday we went up to our friends’ ranch in the Santa Ynez Valley intending just to stay for the afternoon. Sometime around 4:00 Sunday morning, when I stumbled into an unfamiliar bathroom with a borrowed maxipad glued to my thong and upended a glass of water that still smelled like thirty-four-year-old scotch, I realized that maybe we should have stuck to the original plan. But it’s hard to stay organized after the fifth bottle of wine and you’ve let your son draw all over your face:
That’s a glass of red and a glass of white in front of me. God, but we all had a good time.
In the morning, Jackson and Sophie went to shake down some chickens.
Success!
Farm fresh eggs are really, really yellow inside but despite how everyone raves over their fantastic taste these eggs were a little too real for me. A little too farmy. I have the same feeling about the ocean, it’s way too primal, too many millenia of carnage hath wrought that salty, seaweedy, life-and-death smell and most summers you’ll find me planted in the sand with People magazine, or not even making the ONE MILE DRIVE TO THE WORLD’S SAFEST BEACH, instead spending the day at a heated, sanitary, non-shark-infested pool.
Right now I’m warming M&Ms; in my belly button. I like to pinch them between my fingers until they crack before I eat them. I just invented this warming technique and I recommend it.
With the excellent help of Rachel the NaBloPoMo participant list is now alphabetical and easily referenced. I am still running through the comments barefoot and adding more links to the page, so wait at least another day before sending me threatening e-mails about how I still haven’t linked you. Also, like a genius, I finally changed the comment setting so you can notify me of your url without creating or signing into a Blogger account. I know, it only took me five days to wake up to that little stumbling block. Sorry, kids.
I also backed out on some of the prizes because I’m broke at the moment and can’t afford to start giving away sweatshirts whose base price is still pretty high (now I know why I’ve avoided using Cafe Press). So it’s either a hat or a mug for you, my five lucky winners chosen at random. I’ll tell you what, though, if some of those shirts actually sell I’ll change it back to giving five people whatever they want from the NaBloPoMo Shop, but I don’t plan on running this thing at a loss. Baby still needs winter boots.
There are hundreds of people participating in this thing right now and I have no idea why. Seriously, I’ve been to most of your sites and you all seem like intelligent people with nice looking blogs, I’d never have guessed that you’d be so quick to jump over this Internet cliff with me. But I do enjoy having your company.
Dialogue of the Damned, part XXVII
Jack (opening cabinet under kitchen sink where a paper grocery bag accepts recyclables): “What the hell is this?”
Me: “What? You don’t like that I crammed a whole bunch of stuff into an overflowing bag and then shut the door real quick so it wouldn’t fall out until the next person opened it?”
Jack: “I hate you with all of my heart.”
Me: “You have no idea how much personal growth it took for me to admit having done something that lazy. It was lazy, by the way, and not passive aggressive.”
Jack: (*long-suffering sigh*)
Me: “Do you think if I drink more my hangover will go away?”
If you put me somewhere with a view like that, and enough wine, Jackson could draw on my face too. You know you are THE COOLEST mom for letting him do that. Make sure he remembers it in about 12 years when won’t come down from his bedroom ever and thinks he can start calling you Eden.
And unless you plan on drinking forever, I’d stay away from the hair of the dog, and stick with some OTC pain killers. Also bad for your liver, but won’t cloud your judgement.
OMG- cannnot tell you how sick with joy I am to have been the first commenter!!
Great post, I laughed outloud at least three times. If, while reading your post, I had any M&M;’s in my bellybutton, they would have been propelled forward with the speed of a thousand readers scrambling to be first to comment on your awesome blog!
I feel THE SAME WAY about the ocean! Who knows what manner of slimy or spiny beasts are in there just waiting to be stepped on? And jellyfish–terrifying! I’ll lie on the beach, but I ain’t getting in…
Jen
http://inthegutter.typepad.com
You cut your hair! Just when I was finally used to the more free-flowing Mrs. Kennedy. I don’t know if I can recover.
Hey, maybe I can blog about THAT every day in November.
M&Ms; in the belly button! EDEN FOR PRESIDENT!
I let Al draw on my face once when he was 3 or 4…all I remember about it was, “Don’t thwart the childs creativity with your neurosis dumbass” It was sweet and all, drew a little (big) flower. At least that’s what he said it was. Why don’t they tell you on the package, that the term “Washable” does not apply to the red or black. Hmmm? Permissive as hell I am.
You know, your feelings about the ocean are supposed to mirror your feelings about sex. I read that somewhere.
I love the NaBloPoMo idea! Count me in!
Http://reebeckisupergirl.blogspot.com == Supergirl
Mir, some of us realize the beauty of the very short haircut. Come join the darkside.
Yes, drinking more will help. Absolutely!
hair of the dog. and i mean drink more, don’t actually lick cookie or rosie.
p.s. i love you M. Kennedy.
Dude, at least you have your child to blame for your face the morning after. I’m always like, “I was trying… to put make up on… yeah. That’s why there’s ink all over my face.”
Yeah, this weekend’s weather filled me with dread. It was way too nice.
I’m thinking there’s gonna be some terrible retribution down the road.
Ohhh god, I’ve had those 2-day+ hangovers and they are THE. WORST. I feel for ya! And yes, ‘hair o’ the dog’ is the way to go – though a stiff dose of Excedrin usually helps too.
apparently i’m retarded… where am i suppose to sign up again?
farms are nice and all… but the *smell*. there’s a reason why i’m a city girl. okay, many reasons — but that’s one of ‘em.
We have those conversations, usually on opening the bin to find the liner inside has collapsed, and someone precious and close to your heart has stuffed old teabags, eggboxes and fish skins right on top without righting it first, and now it needs a rubber-gloved forensics team to straighten it out. “See this? This is me hating you.”
Beautiful photos.
It makes me feel warm and fuzzy and not so loserish to know other people are cabinet-crammers, too.
I loooove the beach. That probably explains why I live a 10 minute walk (if you walk slowly) from 2 different ones. This proves, by the way, that children will rebel against anything – mine prefer pools, and do so rather loudly.
I’m glad I’m not the only one that doesn’t freak out when my kids draw on me. But I also tested the halloween hair dye and nail polish to make sure no one’s sensitive skin would react (or that’s what I say).
I’m impressed with anyone who will fess up to anything. Period. Maybe I’ve lived with 6 and 8 year olds too long.
OK, the photo of your drawn-on face? awesome!
Dave has this terrible habit of putting food that’s gone bad into the freezer because sometimes he can’t be bothered to throw it out, esp. if trash day is still a few days away. It’s not a problem until we’re hungry for dinner and are faced with a freezer full of identical frozen, wax-paper wrapped packets, some of which are good, and some of which are bad. Maybe we should try stuffing things in bags under the sink. It already smells weird down there anyway.
The best way to warm m&ms; is under your tongue. You can incubate four at a time and then crack them all at once.
They are egg-like without being too “farm-y.”
I will be NaBloPoMoing next month, because I am a big, dumb dummy.
Also, I will refer to it as “Blopping.”
i just realized, shouldn’t it be International Blog Posting Month? I mean there are people from other countries participating…. like your neighbours to the north.
This is rhetorical of course, but i just thought of it.
xo
Ok I’m going for the blogging month challenge. Mostly because I did start the thing to force myself to write more – or at all.
http://mamimobile.blogspot.com/
Hi Fussy,
Just to say my link on the NaBloPoMo site is not working. Here’s my link again
http://www.hundredandonethings.blogspot.com
I love to swim out past where I can stand and just float in something almost infinitely bigger than me.
It clears the sinuses.
I’m in for the NaBloPoMo!
http://fistcity.typepad.com
I would like to participate in NaBloPoMo, please.
http://www.sweetbippy.com
Thanks!
In all of my NaBloPoMo preparations, I completely forgot about my Halloween preparations. I woke up in a panic this morning. Thanks.
-[other] angie.
Oh good, I kept wanting to tell you about the Blogger account thing, but I couldn’t leave a comment!
I’m in for NaBloPoMo, which by the way, I love saying.
http://www.doahleigh.com
I know what you mean about the eggs. I took my little boy to a local goat farm that produces an award-winning goat cheese…a cheese that I previously loved with every taste bud I have. After smelling the goats, that smell is all I can now taste in the cheese. Totally ruined it for me. And I grew up on a farm – I know what “nature” smells like!
I would like to participate in NaBloPoMo, please.
“HappyLittleFamily”
http://randomthoughtsofmine-andrearose.blogspot.com/
Thanks!
I can’t find the sign up thingy, either! Don’t worry, I totally added the lovely button to my site.
One More Salute to Vanity
http://www.onemoresalute.com
I found your site via Mighty Girl and would like to join the list for NaBloPoMo.
“Saturday’s A Rugby Day” at http://saturdayrugbyday.blogspot.com
I’ll add the logo shortly to my blog.
Hey, can one of the prizes of NaBloPoMo be that we can write on your face? At a dildo party? While scrambling runny eggs?
(I bought a shirt from your NaBloPoMo shack, btw, so I’m helping the cause)
My roommate is the queen of stuffing crap into closets and closing the door. Then when I open it up and the crap falls out she’s all, “What’d you do?!” She’s also the queen of filling a garbage bag to the ceiling.
Yes, I think if you drink more, your hangover will go away.
Way to go Rachel!
Ms. Kennedy,
I’d gladly make a few wristlets and bags for prizes, if you are interested. I am participating in your project, even though I cannot figure out for the life of me how to post a button on my site.
Sign me up for NaBloPoMo, pleez!
http://www.kjsl.com/~beanmom/beandiary.html
I want to play, too.
http://www.vwsista.blogspot.com
Thanks,
~grechen
http://www.rebirthingme.wordpress.com “Rebirthing Me”
I would like to be added too
Forever Altered
http://whenlifewassimpler.blogspot.com/
Weird. I left a post today, but I can’t find it. I’d like to participate! I put the image on my blog already. My website is http://www.carolbrowne.com.
I hope my comment wasn’t the one that was removed. Eep!
(Can’t decide if I can commit to NaBloPoMo so I’ll talk about wine and your fair city.) My mom took me to Santa Barbara for my 40th last weekend. God how I envy you! (And I live in Seattle – I am not used to coveting other people’s towns … everyone usually envies me!) Went to Downey’s Friday night, Bacara on Saturday (for a grown-on-the-premises citrus and avocado exfoliation of my 40 year-old epidermis), wine touring Sunday (I discovered Marsanne for the first time and joined two wine clubs: Kalyra and … um … I guess I’ll remember when it comes in the mail … amazing reds, yes, a really nice Syrah … Beckman? … ) and La Super Rica on Monday! Let me know if you want to swap (houses, that is). Lot’s of yoga here in the emerald city, I promise. And wine!
I’m game:
Project Janna
http://www.projectjanna.com
Hey my name is Taylor Hewitt and I run a blog and the url is http://www.xtremeitalk.com/blog/taylorhewitt and I want to participate in your event where we post every day of November. I’ve already linked to your site with the image and can’t wait to participate.
Thanks!
Please include me in the NaBloPoMo
Under the Microscope at:
http://pciyrtpy.blogspot.com/
Thanks you,
rel
Oh, the wine. How wonderful you are.
How evil are your aftereffects.
Why do you hurt us so?
can I join the NaBloPoMO too?
http://velcrovian.blogspot.com/
thanks
how do ya join ?? id love to join the NABLOPOMO!!
http://jassypoohsmom.blogspot.com/
thanks let me know!
Count me in for NaBloPoMo!
Karaoke Diva
http://karaokediva.blogdns.com
I can’t believe the M&M; warmer isn’t something someone came up with in college. Although drawing on a drunk person’s face? That did happen in college. Jackson is way ahead of his years.
I already sent you an e-mail about this but just incase…
I’d like to be added to NaBloPoMo!
http://redolence.blogspot.com/
You rock!
~F
I’m in for NaBloPoMo! I’ve been too lazy to put up my NaBloPoMo button, but I’ll do it by Nov. 1.
I’m so excited to participate! I feel like the nerdy kid in class that does all the extra credit with great gusto. Oh, wait, I AM her.
http://www.marymuses.com
I may also have sent you mine, so if this is a re-run, sorry!
paltry, sage, rose merry & time
at http://paltry-sage.blogspot.com/
Thanks!
~Julie
I swear to all that I hold holy (which isn’t much, unfortunately) that I am going to warm my MnMs in my navel from now on. I don’t like to crack them first, though. I like to suck them until the shell gets bumpy and suddenly dissolves.
what’s your costume this year? i’m on my second glass of white and first red and i’m desperately in search of that head-turning-thought-provoking-grab-what-you-have-around-your-house costume idea.
Donna: Go as wine, of course!
I seem to remember from my drunken days in the 80′s that a large glass of water and vitamin C right before bed was supposed to help. I don’t honestly remember if it did because I killed all THOSE brain cells with booze. Way back when.
those crazy 80′s…
winter boots? whatchyou talkin bout willis? we all know you live in a climate so perfect you don’t need deodrant or a winter coat. just say baby needs a new pair of sandals for your better than 99% of the world’s climate!
Entry into the blog a day in November–www.fourplusme.blogspot.com
Yay I can finally comment. So many times I would read you, provide witty and sparkling commentary and then scroll down to see the dreaded blogger restriction.
so glad I never caved!
Count me in for NaBloPoMo!
I’m Just a Guitar Playin’ Girl
http://guitarplayin.blogspot.com/
~Joyce
I’ll do the November NaBloPoMo.
Reilly’s Best Friend
http://mydogreilly.blogspot.com/
Sam
five bottles doesnt seem to be that much ……
I’d like to participate iin NaBloPoMo please:
deliver us from weasels
http://deliverusfromweasels.blogspot.com
Thanks!