Five Years

On October 16, 2006 by Eden M. Kennedy

Today marks the fifth anniversary of this blog. Great Scott! Feel free to give me gifts of wood. I’m hoping Jack will help me out with that.

In honor of that tentative first post I’m going to do a couple of things. One is to glue some wings on a George Starbuck and then toss it into the worldly wide web and see if it sticks.

Sonnet with a Different Letter at the End of Every Line

O for a muse of fire, a sack of dough,
Or both! O promissory notes of woe!
One time in Santa Fe N.M.
Ol’ Winfield Townley Scott and I … But whoa.

One can exert oneself, ff,
Or architect a heaven like Rimbaud,
Or if that seems, how shall I say, de trop,
One can at least write sonnets, a propos
Of nothing save the do-re-mi-fa-sol
Of poetry itself. Is not the row
Of perfect rhymes, the terminal bon mot,
Obeisance enough to the Great O?

“Observe,” said Chairman Mao to Premier Chou,
“On voyage à Parnasse pour prendre les eaux.
On voyage comme poisson, incog.”

(ff is musical notation for fortissimo)

I met George Starbuck when he did a reading at my college ’round about 1985. It was in a room in the library and afterward there was wine and he totally flirted with my friend Pam and made her blush, he said to her, “Every poet looks for a face like yours to read to.” Believe me, I was jealous of that, because who hasn’t had the fantasy of having a dirty old man do the lean in with cheap wine on his breath?

Anniversaries sometimes prompt little shifts, and one change I’m ready to make is to stop calling myself “Mrs. Kennedy.” I started using that as a screen name after I got married* (a) because I thought it was funny, (b) because I felt so alienated from what I supposed a grown-up married lady ought to feel like that I thought I’d start on the outside and work my way in, and (c) to acknowledge, on the sites where I was commenting, that I wasn’t pretending to be younger (or singler) than I was.

*Replacing the “edenlotus” I’d been using on the yoga message boards. I know. The “lotus” was meant to be yoga-y and to echo my middle name, which is Lois. I bet you didn’t know that.

But I’m over it now, and as I approach my tenth wedding anniversary (tin or aluminum) early next month (I am also looking forward to receiving six packs, rolls of foil, and Wizard of Oz memorabilia) I’m thinking of just lopping off the “rs.” thus, until I think of something better, making my screenname the pleasingly androgynous M. Kennedy. The French would be forgiven for addressing me as Monsieur Kennedy. But I just like the letter M. It’s smack at the center of the alphabet so it’s a sort of fulcrum, plus it’s nice and sturdy, with those two feet firmly on the ground. Or, in some fonts, two feet and a swingin’ triangular wang.

Another change I’m trying to make is to take a page from Sarah Brown’s book and quit saying no to potentially interesting social invitations all the time. It’s just a stupid, scaredypants habit and the short-term relief it provides of not having to try to fuckin’ relax and enjoy the company of my fellow human beings isn’t really a pracitcal long-term solution to the problem of making me feel more connected to people, life, the universe, and everything. Plus, when you go out? There’s usually wine, and I am nothing if not open to a glass of whatever you’ve got handy.

So in that spirit last week I accepted an invitation for one of these in-home fashion shows things, where a bunch of women sit around and listen to a paid-by-commission consultant present their fall line of vibrators* overpriced sweaters and whatnot. I very nearly purchased a floor-length black velvet theater coat, I’ll have you know, but in the end settled for a sweater with a neckline that practically goes down to my jenny. See what happens when you seat me between a bepantsuited real estate agent and a charming Polish emigré and ply me with last year’s chardonnay?

*I keep wondering when you’re going to invite me to a vibrator party.

In other news, we are 99% sure we’re going to keep Rosette. Here is a picture of her having her face chewed off by her sister, Cookie:



48 Responses to “Five Years”

  • Jenny.

    That made me laugh. Congrats on the new two-dog family, too. I think you’ll be happy.

  • Happy 5th, M. Kennedy! So….do you want a vibrator party in your honor? ‘Cause….I bet I could get some takers. You know, wood(y)……hehehheheheh..

    Hooray for Rosie and Cookie..they look so happy together. Even chewing each others’ faces off. I notice Cookie seems to be white with brindle patches? V. pretty.

  • whoooooo hooooooooooooo keep the puppy!

    Oh and Happy Anniversary too

  • I once listened to a Fresh Air (I think) interview with Tina Fey (I think), who said, “The fun is always on the other side of a ‘yes.’” And [me now], well, it’s never on the other side of a “no”!

    It’s silly, but I think about it often. You know those kinda-sorta want to invitations – I imagine the very type you referred to – you usually turn down? I usually don’t, now, and I’m almost never sorry.

    Also sometimes it’s hard to get myself to yoga, but has anyone EVER said, “Damn it! I wish I hadn’t gone to yoga!”?

  • M. Kennedy sounds very grown-up somehow, which makes sense now that this place is five years along. Congratulations on the stick-with-it-ness.

    Your dogs are so cute that it’s nearly pet porn.

  • “Fuckerware” parties are more fun with close friends in my experience, and must include a ton of wine.

    Thank you for the dog pictures. Keep Rosette, think of me, I like the dog pics.

    Congrats on the anniversary!

  • That is the very first time I’ve heard my name (shortened form) in reference to a woman’s front bottom.

    Unless I’m sick minded and you actually meant your belly button.

  • Happy Anniversary! I agree that anything that holds the possiblity of free wine may be worth looking into. Hope you have lots of fun with this new resolution.

  • There are only so many places one can wear a floor length black velvet evening coat.
    But I suspect you could pull it off…

  • Happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday to you, M. Kennedy, my homegirl, and your stretchy-faced dogs.

  • Just when I think I cannot be more impressed by your talent you go and spring that poem on me.

    Love the M Kennedy. I vote aye! Happy anniversary, M.

  • Mazeltov all around!

    And you know, it was a pretty great post until you threw in the dog picture. Then it became over-the-top awesome. SO CUTE.

    And now I know why bulldogs have all those extra folds of skin: so they can be each other’s chew toys for life. And that just supports the idea that everyone who has one should really have at least two.

    Right? Right?

  • I went to a vibrator party once. We called it “Toys for Twats”.

    Happy Anniversary M. Kennedy.

  • *raises glass of wine*

    Happy Anniversary, M. Kennedy!

  • Are you sure about Rosette? She might SEEM the quiet type, but could turn out to be the dog with shifty eyes who is helping Italian theives rob you blind by learning the layout of the house. Obviously, Cookie is suspicious and is trying to pull off Rosette’s mask.

  • Happy Blogiversary to you, M. Kennedy!

  • Damn, this blog is old.

  • You used “wood”, “wang”, and “jenny” all in the same post. Kudos, and you’d better warn Jack to rest up for your anniversary um, celebration.

    I like M. Kennedy as well, and think both Cookie and Rosette are deliciously smoochy looking.

  • Congrats M. Kennedy.

    I like it. Sounds a little regal, no?

  • M. Kennedy. Very nice. Very grown-uppy and all. Congrats on five years.

    And the dogs… Too cute! (but it looks like that’s gotta hurt a smidge.

  • Man, I so want to be invited to one of those vibrator parties too! If aI knew you would come to my vibrator party I would host one. Too bad you live so far away.

  • I’m still partial to Mrs. Kennedy.

    Poor Rosie! I imagine, being the timid and shy doggie she is, she’s probably wondering why, oh WHY Cookie would want to embarass her that way, pulling her extra face skin all over the place.

    You make me want a bulldog puppy.

  • I loved the sonnet. Happy Anniversaries. I like your first name and wonder why you don’t just use that. It is a unique and pretty name but I understand the siren call of the letter M.

  • how very cosmopolitan (the style, not the drink – unless you like them, in which case both.) M. Kennedy. Congrats on the anniversaries.

  • i liked calling you mrs. kennedy. eden is too informal, m. sounds a bit more formal to me.

    btw: ow! yeoch. that’s just like watching dogs bite each other’s jaws or ears.

  • Happy Anniversaries. Multiples of most things are good. Special days. Puppies. O…ther stuff.

    I’ll be following along with your social adventures. It is a formidably difficult to change habit of mine, as well. I wish you success, and not just for purely selfish reasons of potential motivation.

  • No way can you separate them now. Rosette’s face would come off!

  • That picture makes me smile. It is a wonder to me that my Lab’s jowls are not yet hanging to his knees, thanks to his new baby brother’s shark-like tendencies.

  • I remember the lead singer of the band Soul Coughing used to go by M. Doughty, which I always thought was very androgynous, mysterious and punk rock all at once.

    So I love the M. Kennedy idea, even though I’ll miss thinking of you as Mrs. Kennedy. (There are so few opportunities to address people by Mr. and Mrs. anymore, it seems.)

    Congratulations on your anniversary!

  • M is also James Bond’s boss. Are you looking for a little espionage?

  • I always say judy, but I like this jenny business. It sound so Little House on the Prairie somehow.

    Happy Anniversary! And may I ask your first yes to be coming to New York already?

  • Yea, keep Rosette! If Cookie and Rosette ever want to do a playdate with a cute basset hound named Emma, send me a note. I’m a fellow SB blogger with a penchant for short legged doggies.

  • Please do keep Rosette. And then start a blog that is just pictures of her. Put a million ads on it, I don’t care. I just want to see more pictures of her, because she is seriously the cutest. dog. ever.

  • M. Kennedy… You slay me.

  • between you and squid, I’m about ready to cave to the kids and get a puppy. oh, the cuteness. And then I remember that we have 2 old dogs. oops.

    Happy blogiversary, M!

    My oldest’s name begins with M, and she’s quite the diva, so we call her the Divine miss M, or “the divine one” for short.

    A Gaggle of Girls

  • Aha! I am hosting a vibrator party in November and you are definitely invited M. Kennedy – what a hoot that would be!

    I loved the sonnet and can’t wait for your daily postings!

  • If you keep Rosette we’ll have to send her a collar to match Cookie’s!

  • can your dogs start a blog? c’mon, you may have to help them out a little but i want daily thoughts/barks and photos!

  • I issue the final 1% for keeping Rosette.

  • You have no idea how old and wise and worldly I thought you were when I first read about Mrs. Kennedy in Dooce.

  • Wow, so much information in one post! I am so happy! (But alas, I have no vibrator parties to which to invite you.)

  • Okay, nothing worldly to say other than:
    That is one fucking cute dog. (errr…two)

    Rosette is a keeper! She got spunk!

  • Oh you crack me up! and you are fostering in me a love of bulldogs…soo cute!

    I hope you keep writing for a long time Madame Kennedy!

  • I’m going to be killing myself looking for a Wizard of Oz vibrator for your anniversary.

  • Um, also? How very awesome and fortuitous that you began this great thing ON MY BIRTHDAY. I am really trying to extrapolate that into meaning something huge and serendipitous…help me out, wouldja?

  • Delurking to say happy anniversary, happy name-change and happy socializing, hopefully at a good vibrator party :)

    *envisioning M. Kennedy’s mailbox soon filling up with dozens, no hundreds, of invitations to sexay partays involving the warming gels and buzzy appliances*

  • M. Kennedy is to die for. It reminds me of the Affair at 7, Rue de M. or how old novels always neglect to put the full names of cities or streets, as though that’s somehow naughty.

  • That dogs are just soooo adorable. I love them…. their wrinkles… Awwww…. cute, cute, cute!!!!