Day Twenty-nine
One day a few years ago, when Jackson was about two years old, I was talking to my sister-in-law K. about the pros and cons of having another kid (she has two), and she said to me, "Only children are all fucked up. It's just a fact." At the time, news like this from someone I respect as a good mom and a thinking person kind of upset me. I guess she took it as a given that all single children are doomed to be weirdos because they don't have to share their toys, their parent(s), or the air they breathe with a sibling.
Afterward I tried to think if I knew any normal adult singletons. There was a Ph.D. on his second marriage; a happy and interesting private detective; a trashy but good-hearted neighbor; a wild-eyed cashier at Ralph's who begged me to have another child because she'd grown up "alone" and had always pleaded for her mom to have another child so she'd have someone to play with*.
*Perhaps proving my sister-in-law's point.
And then I thought of some of the mildly-to-dangerously fucked-up people in the world and did any of them have siblings? You bet they did. And some of their siblings were pretty awesome. Hey, did having an awesome sibling increase your chances of being a weirdo loser? Let's see!
Anyway, last month I ran across this from an interview with nature writer Bill McKibben:
When you drop in the environmental impact of creating another wee citizen of the United States, who in his or her lifetime is going to use double the natural resources that a Western European uses and ten times that of an African, having another child becomes indefensible. My own existence is indefensible, much of the time, but I've already sort of staked my claim. Plus, I ordered these really cute shoes* and they haven't arrived yet.
*Because Evany does not steer us wrong.
Afterward I tried to think if I knew any normal adult singletons. There was a Ph.D. on his second marriage; a happy and interesting private detective; a trashy but good-hearted neighbor; a wild-eyed cashier at Ralph's who begged me to have another child because she'd grown up "alone" and had always pleaded for her mom to have another child so she'd have someone to play with*.
*Perhaps proving my sister-in-law's point.
And then I thought of some of the mildly-to-dangerously fucked-up people in the world and did any of them have siblings? You bet they did. And some of their siblings were pretty awesome. Hey, did having an awesome sibling increase your chances of being a weirdo loser? Let's see!
Jimmy Carter: won the Nobel Peace PrizeAll of that proves nothing, of course, but I do like to make lists.
Billy Carter: crushed beer tins on his forehead
Bill Clinton: humanitarian, won a Grammy, got impeached
Roger Clinton: played "Mayor Bubba" in Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings
John F. Kennedy: sexy, popular, unhealthy 35th president
Joe, Rose, Kathleen, Eunice, Patricia, Robert, Jean, and Ted Kennedy: probably all got their own ponies
Anyway, last month I ran across this from an interview with nature writer Bill McKibben:
"One of the reasons I wrote that book is because my wife and I had one child, and I wanted to debunk the myth about only children being spoiled and crazy. It was interesting figuring out where those myths had come from and doing my part to knock them down.[From the October 2006 issue of The Sun, and thanks again for the subscription, Amy.]
It turns out that most of our prejudices about only children stem from a single, widely circulated study, conducted in the earliest days of social-science research. It wasn't even a very good study: the sample included only children from works of fiction, and the researchers looked for traits like "ugliness." They found that only children (and the children of immigrants, incidentally) were "mentally peculiar." When, thirty years later, more-serious researchers took up the topic, they found -- and continue to find to this day -- that only children are indistinguishable from their peers with siblings. But by then the damage had been done, the myth created."
When you drop in the environmental impact of creating another wee citizen of the United States, who in his or her lifetime is going to use double the natural resources that a Western European uses and ten times that of an African, having another child becomes indefensible. My own existence is indefensible, much of the time, but I've already sort of staked my claim. Plus, I ordered these really cute shoes* and they haven't arrived yet.
*Because Evany does not steer us wrong.
71 Comments:
Much of the distaste that I have for only children comes from the prick I dated in college for a couple of years - but now I think that was more a function of his parents than his lack of siblings.
They were really cool people, former Peace Corps volunteers, did work for the UN when he (boyfriend) was young, they made their living as academics in a hippy-dippy university town.
He was used to absolute quiet and order in his life, and as a result felt it quite reasonable to verbally assault anyone who would *gasp* cough in the same room as he when he was reading.
However, (damn, I really didn't mean for this to turn into a post in and of itself, I may have to follow up on my own blog, apparently I like this topic) I think many of the reasons that people think that multiple kids do well for one another are negated by the sheer poundage of priveledge heaped upon them. My employer's family has three kids, but they would sooner drink urine than share a car, a bedroom, an ipod, a television, a computer, etc etc etc. Those kids are going to have the same issues that folks were worried about with single kids, because 'sharing' is not in their vocabulary...as I said, more a function of the parenting style than the presence of other kids.
I'll stop now. sheesh!
MontanaJen
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about parenting through fear...making certain parenting decisions because you fear what your child will turn into if you make a different choice. From my own experience, this just makes you crazy yourself. If fear could be tapped as an energy source, parents would be able to power the entire world for eternity.
I had a foot in mouth moment with this myth when I first met my future mother-in-law. In conversation (mind you, I'm just dating her son at this point) I mentioned that my niece was "very well adjusted for an only child." Turns out Mother-in-law is an only child.
I since understand (with two kids) that all of it is a bunch of crap. Thus, the name of my blog: peoplearequirky. We all have our issues..... and you can't blame it on any one thing.
so are you having another kid or what?? the "single-children-are-fucked-up" theory is obviously bunk. but do you have siblings?
p.s. i used to date evany's friend jill's ex-boyfriend, richard. extended cake mix rocks.
Just get him a dog ( or do you already have one?) My only child/son, refers to our dog as his brother.
Exactly, our dog seems to be our second child.
FancyD, I have two older brothers.
I am an only child to my mom and one of five to my dad, so I like to say I got the best of both worlds growing up. And I've got to say I enjoyed the only child part so much that I plan on only having one child.
I have three children. Which is one more than we intended, but that's another matter. There's lots to love about watching siblings grow up together. My boys are very close, and It comforts me that they have each other, even if there is less of their parents to go around, energy-wise. One of my best friends is an only, and she is no more or less adjusted than the average person, but it lately has been dawning on her that her parents are aging and that she hasn't got anyone who can really shoulder that experience with her. That's a lot to face on your own.
The other great thing about having more than one is that it quickly disabuses one of any lingering illusion that how your kid turns out is all about you. Because each is so different, it really brings it home how they arrive with their personalities factory- installed.
Finally, as a sibling myself, it's pretty great to have someone with whom you can commisserate about your crazy parents without feeling disloyal.
Having said all that, I think onlys probably get to develop differently. Not necessarily for better or for worse. Interesting topic.
I am an only child and feel that I am pretty normal, all things considered. I was more effected by being raised by a mentally-ill single parent than being an only child. My husband and I have recently decided that our son will also likely be an only child. Like montanajen said, it is more about how you raise your child or children than about how many there are.
So what does it say about me that I have moments of sheer horror and regret that we have child #2 in the oven? And when would one know if you made the right choice? I'm more in the "have siblings" camp because I love mine, but raising them isn't going to be all picnic, I know!
You're welcome for The Sun -- I need to schedule a winter pedicure so I can catch up! (I've only read through August). I am glad you're enjoying it...
I should have thought of The Sun for NaBloPoMo inspiration!!
I'm an only child. Yes, I'm a bit "different," but it's not insurmountable. People are surprised at how "normal" I am "for being a screwed up only child."
"Well, thanks very much!"
My wife and I have four kids now and I think I'd have rather grown up in a larger family.
I just re-read that and should have put quotes around "in the oven," lest someone think we thought our decision so poor that we are actually braising a baby. How CSI of me! I'm pregnant and nervous (and cranky and sore), forgive me.
I recently wrote a post about my experience as an only child. I think we turn out just fine.
http://www.heypeaches.com/index.php/site/all_by_my_se_e_elf/
I'll say it, if no one else is going to: those shoes are fabulous.
To divert from the only child topic for a small moment:
1) I love lists
2) I love your lists
3) The Kennedy's scare me
4) Well, really, so do the Carter's and Clinton's
I'm so glad you bought the shoes! I didn't mention this in my post because I didn't want to come off as braggy, but I also have the RED PAIR, and they, too are magical.
PS: I am totally an only child, and look how...many shoes I have!
PPS: One of my all-time favorite San Francisco PC moments was the time I found a ad for a household of (I assumed) TERRIBLE HIPPIES who were looking for (I extrapolated) a third terrible hippie, and the ad ended thusly: "No junkies, no cellphone users, and no only children." No THANKS.
I'm an only child and I LOVE it. Sure, I wished for a brother or sister when I was little, for about 10 minutes. I'm 25 now, and my parents and I are so close and I wouldn't give that up for the world.
Only child. The aging parents thing doesn't bother me a bit--I've watched my folks deal with their sibs as their parents aged, and friends deal with awful situations. I get to make the decisions necessary with my folks and with support from my spouse and professionals without some sister in Kansas calling to scream about mom being in the home, or a brother in Philly who doesn't call at all.
I had more than one child because...I wanted another child. I felt like I had the energy, resources, and time necessary to enjoy another kid. Pregnancy was easy, I have a great husband who is a full partner and supportive family nearby. But it's an individual decion and N of MFB what anyone else wants to do with their family.
I'm quite sure my brother wished he was an only child fairly often.
I would love for someone studying singletons to meet my son. He is without a doubt the most level headed, unselfish, kind hearted person I know. Everybody who meets him likes hime. (Wait, maybe he is a weirdo after all.)
1. I'm an only child.
2. Wait! Come back! That wasn't meant to scare you.
3. Damn. I scared her off, I wonder what size the shoes are...
Only children I have known have all become successful adults, and good at setting boundaries without isolating themselves.
My mom was an only child, and she is pretty much normal except that around this time of year, she likes to buy those animatronic santas and Christmas trees that sing and dance and she likes to play them all at the same time. I'm not sure if that's because she has no siblings or not, but it's very odd.
My brother and I spent much of our childhood hating each other, and it made my parents' lives very difficult for a number of years. In fact, it only got better when we lived in separate houses. I believe it was because my parents were far too busy to cope with both of us, and my brother was a total attention whore so took up most of their parenting time. I'm still bitter, if I'm completely honest.
I agree with the first comment that it has nothing to do with sibling numbers. My oldest (as in of longest duration, not most aged) friend is an only child and she is wonderful. Her parents took a number of measures: being cool parents helped, so kids wanted to come round to her house all the time. I personally went on three of their family vacations to Spain so that she wouldn't have to put up with the tedium of her parents' company for two solid weeks. We had so much fun. Yes, she (still) has moments where I think she is being selfish and unreasonable, but so does everyone.
Of course, I have no kids, so I am probably talking out of my arse. But I think that most research that purports to prove hypotheses like 'other people are weird and dysfunctional' says more about the need of the researchers to find someone to blame for their own perceived dysfunctions.
We are having one child. My mom had four and I think it made her a little crazy. I've decided my daughter needs a sane, happy mom more than she needs than a sibling. If you do have more than one, there are no guarantees that they will be close anyway.
Another book you might want to check out is The Pecking Order. He examines why some siblings are more successful than the others (Bill and Roger Clinton, for example) and the thesis is that if you have limited resources, one child often succeeds at the other's expense.
I had a conversation with a colleague once who had one child and was contemplating another. I said, "yeah, having two is a good idea, because if you accidentally drown one in the bath, then you have a spare".
I really need to check my audience before I open my mouth.
I also want to add that in New Zealand it is now November 30 and I just completed the NaBloPoMo challenge.
http://www.bullywoolly.typepad.com
Hooray! Thanks so much for the idea and the organisation.
My husband is an only and is one of the nicest people I've ever known. When it became apparent that our daughter was going to be an only, I'll admit that it gave me a few pangs (and it will for a while yet if I'm honest), but I agree that the stimga of only children being spoiled brats is a myth. People are assholes because they are assholes. It has nothing to do with how many siblings you have.
I kind of ditto Brenda's joke, except to say my older child was in a near-fatal accident that I felt completely guilty about for years until the second child (accidentally) came along. It was only then I figured out that this parenting thing is so very random. Mistakes are made, good things happen, it's important to release ourselves from the heaviness of "what if?" Without child #2, poor child #1 would have me hovering over her, worried to death, for the rest of her life. I guess I'm saying...do what you feel. It's going to work out okay no matter what you do anyway.
I've lived on both sides of the fence.
My son was an only child growing up. After he was already an adult, I remarried and got two daughters in the deal.
The only difference that I could see was that my son was more independent ... he had a job at 15, knew how to sew, cook, clean his room. He was more mature at an earlier age. Part of that was that I had more time to teach him and there was more one-on-one interaction.
The girls? Not so much. Can't sew, cook, and never kept their rooms clean. And of course, constant fighting between the two of them. Which meant I was spending a lot of time breaking up the fights. When I wasn't working.
I'd have to say that having a career interfered with how they developed more than the fact that one was an only child and the other two had each other.
I have one really f*ked up child. I am amazed when people ask me if I he's the only one I have. I straight out tell them that this is too hard as it is. What if my next child was born with problems? So the moms with special needs children hate it when I say this. I want another child, I want the chance to be the kind of parent I planned on being. It's not worth the risk. More than that I don't want to fail the one that I have anymore than I do. Yes, I have incredibly great moments with him and I love him with all of my being. Because part of his problem is genetic from the maternal parent, I tell my nieces that it's fine if they don't want to have any children. One of my nieces is an only child and she's very close to my son. On the other hand, I could not get through this without my sisters. Should I have another child just to be sure someone is there for my first one? OMG I have a headache now! :)
When I was a single mom, my daughter used to ask me all the time for a brother, or any sibling. Then I remarried, thinking on the that day I told her I was pregnant she'd be overjoyed. No, she was Royally Pissed. Turns out she wanted an OLDER brother, not one 12 years younger.
You get what you get.
The Sun? My favorite, okay, my ONLY magazine.
My husband and I are only children. We are a little weird, but we like it;-) Now that we have two kids (second child was a surprise) we see why having one would be so much easier. However, watching the kids play together makes us both wish we had siblings of our own.
I don't know if you can ever get an objective debate on this, because people are too attached to the outcome. If they have one child, they will fight to the death to convince you that theirs is not spoiled or narcissistic. If they have two or more - well then looks like they went through that additional round of labor for nothing.
I'd like to think that weirdness comes from the parents, not the siblings. But what do I know. My brother and I are both weird.
Ooooo. Those are some really cute shoes. I would like some cute shoes like that, but the ankle strap does me no favors. Perhaps there are other cute shoes on that site, and I think I'd better go find out. Right now. It's a rotten job, but somebody has to do it, right?
One of my exes (an only child) and I still joke about swapping families. He could have the chaotic mess of shifting alliances known as my siblings, I could have my own room, and we'd both be deliriously happy. It's always greener on the other side.
You could do like my parents and have a second child accidentally nine years after the first one. (Hi!) My kid's a pill-baby, I'm an IUD. We laugh in the face of contraception. And maybe cry...
Hey, that consumer argument is just silly, because any Kennedy will obviously more than pull his weight in this world. I'm just saying.
Though another bulldog's way easier.
An fyi on the shoes -- on initial wearing keep an eye on the backs. Definite blister potential where the ankle strap attaches. (I bought them a month ago in San Francisco.) Oddly, I also realized after purchase that Dooce has the pink ones I also bought... I feel fashionably derivative...
As for only children, I am not one, but have several friends who are, and the most important thing you miss out on being an only child is that you don't experience important character-building needed later in life when you don't grow up with someone practising Bruce Lee moves on you when you least expect it. But they do tend to have impressive self-esteem. :)
Aren't all the screwed-up people in the world the younger children? Interestingly, onlies get all the best of being the eldest (hm hm)and all the disadvantages of being the younger child....
Seriously--
Happily raising an only child over here and LOVING it.
BLOGGER OUTAGE 8PM PST.
I am an only.
Ok..I am more than likely weird and fucked up....but I don't know if being an only was the cause of that????
Most of my friends have siblings and they are totally messed up too!
So there you go.
And if you have more than one...you are basically doubling your chances of one (take your pick here) being amazing and normal and the other being a total freak.
Our no. 2 is a total freak.
She scares me.
It boils down to how much of a gambling type of person you are!!!
My husband's brother died at 18 of leukemia when my husband was 16. He's been a de facto only for almost 20 years. As kids they had a somewhat rocky relationship - his brother, loved by all who knew him, could be a pretty cruel bully to my husband. He is often very wistful when he wonders if they would have ended up being friends. Nowadays he experiences both the full love and the full brunt of his parents. Of course his situation is different than a regular only - the dynamic f*cked to hell by tragedy - but our conversations about having another kid often revolve around the pros and cons of what he's experienced. No surprise then that we're conflicted.
While we haven't made a decision yet regarding a 2nd, all the people who have asked (since the day I announced I was pregnant) "so, when are you having another??!!" kind of make me want to stop at one. Just to piss them off. Sadly, that doesn't count on our List of Good Reasons as either 'for' or 'against'...
Jenn
I was reading you from bloglines today and saw the whole list of the Kennedy clan. I've been on Kennedy clan reading kick for weeks.
Here I thought you were going to tell me these were your famous relatives!
Regarding "in his or her lifetime is going to use double the natural resources that a Western European uses and ten times that of an African"...
You ought to calculate just how much of this world Jackson - and you - are going to use up. I'm sad to say that we would need 4 earths to sustain the world if everyone lived like me, and I consider myself pretty eco-friendly:
http://www.earthday.net/footprint/index.asp
Sorry to be random. What you said reminded me of this quiz, and I think it's pretty cool.
My husband and I are each 1 of 4 kids, and I think we just always assumed we'd have 3 or 4. After pregnancy-from-hell #2 and child-with-undiagnosed-as-yet-something-or-other, we knew that 2 was it.
As a grownup, I wouldn't trade my siblings for anything and hate to think of my kids having "only" each other...but the reality is that I live far away from my siblings and the support is not what it used to be in other generations. We definitely hated each other at times growing up, but as adults they are the ones I always go to in a crisis, so I think I'll just say that all of those "1st - 2nd- 3rd - Only" arguments are like the "Mommy Wars": they only have as much power as you give them.
Thanks for helping me along the road to giving myself "permission" to make Bella an only child...especially since this was not a decision we made by choice, and I desperately wanted more.
Also--Evany? Funnily enough, I just read a recommendation of her book of "sleep positions" in this month's 'O' Magazine (which is remarkable enough, since I never read 'O' Magazine), and with the column, they printed a picture from the book, of "double spooning," or some such, wherein the couple are wrapped around each other nine ways to Sunday, yet blissfully asleep. I actually bookmarked the page, and showed it to Alex when he got home. He asked, "How many seconds before you'd explode out of the bed, screaming insanely?" To which I answered, "I could probably make it to about four. Yeah. Four seconds."
"It" has nothing to do with numbers. But the "drain on natural resources" argument is not any better founded than the lists you rightly say prove nothing. Worried about your children being a drain on the Earth? Then teach them to respect it and live in an environmentally conscious way. It won't change others' overconsuming and wasteful mentality if you have fewer kids, but it might make a difference if more people are raised with an environmental consciousness. It wouldn't even need to come with a negative impact on personal quality of life, as you point out Western Europeans use half the resources on average than those in the US.
I don't think having more than one kid is indefensible, but I won't bother to defend it here. In any case, I really don't think it makes any difference sociologically if you have one kid or more. There are advantages and disadvantages to one, or more than one. My husband and both my parents are only children, and they all turned out fine.
okay, those shoes? AWESOME. i have been secretly stalking the marc jacobs ones but even i, shoe store whore that i am, cringe at dropping 300 bucks on fabulous shoes. these might do the trick, though, and i have another cute pair of jeffrey campbell shoes, so i know they're not crap!
only children? i dunno. i never thought being an only child would make you fucked up, but i did think it would make you lonely. it sounds strange, but i love the chaos of my two boys together. the dynamics of their personalities clashing together. the little one (who has no fear) has really brought out the hooligan in my once shy and reserved older son. some might think that's a bad thing, but not me. i love thinking that (in a perfect world) they will have each other after i'm gone. or they could end up hating each other. heh. it's a crapshoot!
now, middle children? THOSE are the freaks! that's the reason i've stopped at two!
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I am an only, and I would like to think a well-adjusted one...As an only, I would give you the following advice:
Socialize Jackson. If he knows the rules of the road, if he has friends over a lot, if he has to share, he will. He'll be fine.
The one thing I would say not to do is let him feel pressured that he is your only hope to have a doctor, or artist or lawyer or whatever it is that you secretly want him to grow up to be. The one problem with being an only child is that all your parents' hopes and dreams rest on you. This wasn't something I knowingly felt until I was in high school. Maybe even college. But it's a lot of pressure to think that everything your parents wanted out of their offspring has to come from you. That's rather easy to avoid though, but keep it in mind when he's older.
Oh, it also sucked when there was no one else to blame things on! lol..."Who wrote all over the walls???" Uh, yeah...there were no other possible answers to that question than a weak "me...". Although, I did learn to say some things that happened were my friends who had already gone home..."Susan did it, Mom! I told her to stop, but she wouldn't..."
All in all though, being an only child was pretty great.
I don't have any kids of my own so that may disqualify me from being credible, but I did raise four cats and they all turned out okay.
Having observed only children and children with siblings, there are no guarantees that all of our best attempts at parenting will succeed in keeping our kids out of therapy after they are old enough to vote.
I was an only for ten years, and happy, and I had one gang of friends at home and another at school, so wasn't necessarily a loner because of my lack of siblings. My mum found love-of-her-life #2 and had another baby just after my tenth birthday. She joked that when the new baby started talking, I stopped: it was true. I felt let down by her for having another, and would have been happier on my own. I know it sounds awful, really awful but to this day I have this sibling ten years younger, with completely different interests, who I find it incredibly hard to connect with. I love spending time with my mum on her own, but when it's the three of us I find it hard-going.
I read about you, Jack and Jackson, and I read Meno's blog about her, the Mister and Em, and you both make me see the beauty of being a three-person family. It's a magic number.
Anyway, babies smell funny.
I have a brother, but we grew up 3,000 miles apart from one another for the majority of it. And thank the FSM for that, because he's hated me since the day I was born, and not much has changed in the following 33 years. So much for having siblings.
Thank you for two things:
1) making me laugh out loud with your last sentences in your last paragraph.
2) making me feel better about thinking about only having one child (haven't had kids yet). I am scared enough just thinking about being a parent and the idea multiple offspring freaks me out.
Thank you.
My mother is an only child and very well adjusted; had many friends growing up and did not miss a sibling. However, when my sister and I were kids and would argue, she would worry "oh, they HATE each other" as she had no frame of reference for sibling rivalry. My sister and I are now best friends and she is thrilled since she worried that we would never get along as adults.
i often tell my three year old daughter that the ONLY reason we had her was so that our son would turn out normal. I think it makes her feel like she has purpose!
I love when people say you have to have another kid so your kid learns 'how to play' with others.
If my kids are teaching each other how to 'play' they'd be kicking and screaming and driving everyone at school completely crazy with their brand of 'friendship'
I am an only kid. Was raised mostly by my mother and I think I turned out ok. For sure I am not more or less fucked up than my peers.
Hey hey hey!!! A lot of actors would give their eye-teeth for a role like "Mayor Bubba" in Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings! (Well... I sure would... and I was an only child for 12 years)
My mom and I are both only children. We both turned out "normal"; however, now that my mom is the sole person responsible for taking care of my grandmother, she wishes she had a sibling to share the responsibility or just bounce ideas around with. That was her main pro for me having more children. We have two now, and that's probably enough. :)
Siblings are cool. I enjoy having my sister around but I think the real truth is people are f*ucked up - single, multiple, triple or otherwise. So yea ... some are good, some are bad.
I'm an only (also raised a lot by single mom) and so was my ex. I would be the lesser selfish of the two. I never disliked being an only child, but now that I've got two (no choice in the matter...they're twins), I see some of the things that I maybe missed out on. The mischief they get into together and the love they have for one and other is truly remarkable. I did a post on it earlier for NaBloPoMo.
I had previously taken comfort in an early post you hwrote about pros/cons over baby #2 electric boogaloo.
In it you had written, "what if it's a girl?" as a negative or positive and I feel exactly the same about "what if it's a boy?"
I don't think there's an electric boogaloo in our future either, and I'm going to read both posts when I need to be reminded of that.
As Always, M Kennedy, thank you.
I am a singleton raised with a dog.
My kids (3) tell me I turned out all right.
My mom, not so sure. I don't call or visit enough.
I come from a family of four and my husband is an only child. We have equally messy childhoods but I have FAR more work from my inlaws than he ever will.
T'aint nothing wrong with only children, it's the parents that mess up kids onlies or otherwise ;-)
I was an only child until I was 13. My parents had split at that point, one had biological children, the other adopted.
I loved being an only child. My parents were not overwhelmed, they gave me lots of good attention, they raised me around adults so I learned to have manners and be respectful. Sometimes I was lonely, but I learned to entertain myself with books and writing. They could afford to give me lessons and let me try many different things.
There is nothing wrong with an only child if the parents are doing thier jobs.
I only had one child. He'll be 23 in January. He wasn't spoiled with stuff as we lived pay check to pay check. He got the best and the worst of us all to himself. He gives us the impression that he wouldn't have had it any other way.
One of my best friends is an only child and that time that she caught our house on fire was totally a mistake.
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