The Cake Mistake

On January 5, 2007 by Eden M. Kennedy

The other day I followed a link from Mightygirl over to Edith Meyer, who makes some of the most imaginative wedding cakes I’ve ever seen, and as I clicked through the cake pictures something unexpected happened to me. I started crying. Sneaky tears sneaking up on me. Typical! I get weepy at weddings, I think because the odds are so overwhelmingly against a lifelong relationship working out happily, and yet people keep wholeheartedly looking for the right person to love. And I think sometimes that person gets found. And then I cry.

So blah blah blah anyway: CAKE. The wayback-when morning of our wedding — Jack and I got married in the back yard of the house we were renting an apartment in — the back yard where we also buried three cats, Kitty, Stink, and Tarzan — the back yard of the house that contains the apartment’s bathroom wherein Jackson was born.

The food for our fifty-guest wedding was supposed to be delivered at 11:00 a.m. At 11:30 a.m. I called the bakery/catering place and said, Where’s our food? And the woman on the phone said, What food? And I said, For my wedding! And she said, What wedding?

It turned out that the charming Frenchman who’d taken our order four months earlier, with whom we’d sat for over an hour talking about pates and cheeses and a three-tiered chocolate cake, had quit the bakery! And in order to completely fuck and embarrass the bakery he’d torn up a bunch of special orders that he’d written up, including ours. Great! I screamed at the woman on the phone. Screamed, I’m getting married today! This is MY WEDDING! NOW WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT!

The ceremony was supposed to start at 1:00, and some food from the bakery showed up about 1:30. It wasn’t what we ordered, but it was certainly good enough for a last-minute snack in the back yard. The cake, however. When our neighbor Lance heard about there being no wedding cake, he slipped off to the grocery store for supplies and came up with this:

That’s “Jack vs. Eden” written in peanut M&Ms.; It was a reference to our wedding invitation, which was written up like a fight card but of which no example seems to survive, unfortunately. I might have one in an old file. I’ll take a look.

So that was our wedding cake, like no other in the world, and we loved it. But I have to say, whenever I look at an unusual, fancy wedding cake, I think back to that motherfucking Frenchman and I want to give him a black eye.

And then I think, someday, some way, I’m going to have my wedding cake.

Also, for Ariel, here’s a picture of our wedding shoes:

Comments

comments

47 Responses to “The Cake Mistake”

  • You are going to end up getting wedding cakes in the mail now because of your tale.

    The shoes? They are GREAT.

  • OH the shoes! At least your feet looked totally fabulous!

    You should get an increasingly elaborate cake for each passing anniversary… new tradition!

  • Off-beat weddings are always the most memorable and fun, IMHO. So cute. I’d expect nothing less from you, Mrs. K.

  • I love your wedding shoes so very much. I wore wedding flip flops but you’ve got me beat hands (er feet) down in offbeat wedding footwear.

  • I think those pictures show the makings of special order cake with your name on it right there:

    Cake done in black and white (colored chocolate?) with funky shoe-like details. Hee hee! How fun would that be? So really, what does your dream cake look/taste like?

    PS. What bakery, so I can never, ever reccomend them to anyone? Bastards. I’m still furious at the people who own Prufrocks B n B on Linden for letting my mom sit in their and stare at her, clueless, for an HOUR.

    I’d carefully explained that I needed the lady to DIRECT HER TO GO BACK TO HER ROOM in great detail AND in writing…and she didn’t do it. Stupid f-up made my parents over an hour late to my carefully planned surprise party for them. The party went great anyway, but I was SO FURIOUS I couldn’t even call over there to try and get some resolution without becoming incoherent with rage.
    And I end up leaving long, rambling comments on people’s blogs about it…which does no one good.

  • It was some place on State Street that went out of business. I think because an unhappy customer set the building on fire.

  • Ah yes, I am familiar with retroactive cake-envy. My hippie-vegan caterer said she could do a nice, two-level carrot cake, which sounded lovely. I got a freaking sheet cake. For my wedding. Needless to say, we skipped making a big deal about cutting the damn thing up.

  • Great tattoo — sad cake story. And I agree — there are surely cakes on the way.

  • Our photographer hosed us, big time. Seems he was busy skimming funds from the shop, and when he was found out, he messed up the negatives from several weddings, including mine. We got a few, but the ones with my grandparents… grr.

  • You’ve always had your own style, haven’t you Mrs. Kennedy? So, so cool.

  • Those Edith Meyer cakes caused me to be a Cake Hater. I don’t know why I was all “Screw you and your cunning little retro flowers cake.”

    Maybe I just want some cake.

  • I love it! My wedding cake was ice cream cake with a bunch of grocery store roses thrown on top. It was gorgeous and soooo yummy, too. :)

  • missus kennedy
    i am deeply honored to be on your website, especially while holding a t2000 that has me stoked, and i have a sweat on.
    marsha helped me with the cake.
    lance

  • Aaaaahh, blood on the cake!

  • That cretin will get his, messing with weddings. How DO you say bastard in French?

    But the tat, shoes, friendly cake- yum! Why not get a badass schmancy anniversary cake this year? Maybe you could get a room at a certain hotel in Denver…

  • Gah – darn French man, karma will get him one day and run right over his freakin’ dogma (and the bakery burned down, I have to ask, did you have anything to do with it? I won’t tell).

  • Wow- what a story! I don’t know what I would have done- probably what you did or just sat in a cormer and cried. On my wedding day, my soon-to-be brother-in-law thought he knew a shortcut to the monastery and we ended up being the last ones to arrive to our own wedding! He’s been paying for his mistake ever since…

  • Well, I don’t know if you will find solace in the statement, but you are more beautiful now, what with the awesome hair.

    And in that photo, you and Jack both look so young and fresh-faced, yet ready to spar at a moment’s notice. Rockin’.

  • awwww – that’s so sweet! no wonder cakes make you cry. (great shoes, btw)

  • I had a dream of hundreds of mini-wedding cakes, each individually decorated so each guest could enjoy their own little work of art. (cupcakes, essentially)

    The cake ‘artist’ we hired was SO excited about this ARTISTIC CHALLENGE, and because my wedding colors provided a great palette, I thought we all would be blown away.

    Very long story short, we ended up with the equivalent to a third grade bake sale on our cake table. Burnt, even. That bitch.

    I couldn’t muster a sense of humor about it, I just didn’t speak of it for a year. I knew that eventually it would be funny for me, I just didn’t know when.

    First anniversary, fancy dinner, schmancy restaurant. Husband had arranged for an amazing little wedding cake – just for two. I just ‘heart’ him.

  • Something similar happened to me a week before my wedding. I called the salon that I’d made an appointment with 6 months prior, to confirm my and my bridesmaid’s hair and makeup appointments. There was no record of them and they had no room. Turns out the manager had left angrily a couple months before, and erased my bridal party and a couple of other special appointments just to screw the salon. I was LIVID! We ended up going somewhere else entirely. The new salon bent over backward to help me out and brought in additional help to accomodate.

  • I am sorry it happened, but it makes a great story.

  • Your wedding sounds like the wedding I want to have, apart from the vengeful Froggie. I wanna get married in the backyard of my parents house. However, my parents are Catholic and might insist on a church wedding. Le sigh.

  • Those cakes are amazing! Especially Retro Flowers. Wow.

    But, actually, I dig yours. It has a lot of soul.

  • Miriam: où est mon gâteau, [putain/espèce de con]? would be acceptable in this situation, I believe.

    Eden, you both look so glowingly happy and well-shod. I’m glad your friends came through for you and I bet the cake tasted all the better for it.

    I got married to my ex-husband in a country hotel. The cake was a delicious mess of strawberries and cream and one guest dressed for the evening as that chap from Hellraiser with all the nails sticking out of his face.

  • Let me know when you find that French fucker and HE’S GOIN’ DOWN!!!! OOOOHHHHH YEAAAHHHH!!! That asshole is going to be wearing some cement shoes, then we’re going swimming in the channel. Oh yeah. That’s right. I said it.

    However, love the cake
    and the shoes.

  • Here are some good local place the get The Cake, if ever ye decide. All of these should be able to do a mini size for you on fairly short notice. If not, at least there are plenty of gorgeous cakes to drool over and curse the froggie, frenchy, froggie frog.

    http://www.belladolce.com/ (The cupcakes alone are worth it!)
    http://www.decadenceweddingcakes.com (organic/natural)
    http://www.santabarbaracakes.com (Christine Dahl – sooo delicious and creative!)
    http://www.sugarcakes.com/
    http://www.montecitoconfections.com/

  • Very unusual cake and shoes.

  • Matching shoes! Brilliant! And I love the idea of an improvised cake. We’ve ducked and dived the issue of marriage for more than fifteen years and suddenly, I’m encountering all these posts about weddings. I really mustn’t get superstitious about this. But accounts like yours at least offer the notion that the whole business can be *fun* which is not normally a word I’d associate with being on the receiving end of a wedding (how do they manage to forget the years of stress and planning before hand?)

  • The shoes! The shoes!

  • Awww, but you really should thank that Frenchman, for now you have a beautiful memory of a special cake that everyone will always remember. :)

  • Fabulous! I love the cake, hate the frenchman, and covet thy shoes. Also, thanks for adding the shot to the offbeat bride flickr group … and for linking offbeat bride. :) Feel like answering a few questions for an offbeat bride profile? Hmmmmmm?

  • We prefer pie to cake, so we had pies at our wedding. Pre-wedding, the people who knew about it where mostly confused (NO CAKE??). Post-wedding, everybody thought it was great.

    You two look great, by the way!

  • This is just the best thing I’ve seen all week. The SHOES. Oh. My.

    Happy happy.

  • Thank heaven for GREAT friends! I’ve been thinking of a wedding cake myself. When I married, we went to a justice of the peace who worked in an APPLIANCE STORE and that’s where we got married. In his shop, at the back, at the cash counter. Everytime we drive by that place, we say, “we got married there”. Talk about a conversation starter. :-)
    What’s worse? He offered us the use of a gazebo right across the street and I declined. Can’t say why, but we love our little story.

    You guys look absolutely fantastic. Love the friend (what a keeper). Great idea for the matching shoes. I like your idea about the Frenchman. He deserves it. I’ll help.

  • The fucking French. They ruin everything. Although a better story was the result. At our wedding, the cake came with walnuts, which it was not supposed to as my wife is deathly allergic to those nuts, so when I shoved a piece into her mouth as is the custom, her eyes immediately went wide and she turned around and spit the cake out off the deck of my parent’s house. So yeah, at least you didn’t almost die from your wedding cake.

    btw, from the picture, I’m guessing you were like 14 when you got married. Young, you look.

  • You look more lovely every year, it seems.

    It’s not just that these interesting things happen in your life, it’s that you spin the tale of them so well.

    Keep it up!

  • Happy to help – tell ‘em I sent you!

  • The two of you look fabulous! And that cake, well, everything about it says that you have a good friend who loves you. And that beats a motherfucking Frenchman any day of the week.

  • that is a kickass wedding cake – to hell with whatever that bakery bastard promised you!

    (love the shoes) :P

    (JennQR)

  • That is one PRICELESS and utterly unforgetable wedding cake. Why would you want to replace it with some fancy schmancy overthetop forgettable concoction? Your cake was perfect.

    Mala
    malaland@yahoo.com
    malaland.com

  • ooooh! I remember that day! And as I recall Mitch want out to Vons and bought a couple pounds of grapes. And nice knobs, too. That was a good day.

  • I love that story and I love those shoes! Luckily, people always like to eat cake and you have an anniversary every year where it would be appropriate to purchase a fancy one. I clicked over to that bakery’s site too…I think I was hoping for a sample of rosemary cake somehow because, what’s that? It sounds delicious.

  • If it makes you feel any better, I had a fancy cake that no one ate because the fucking people who catered forgot to cut it. So my bridesmaids cut it quick and ran it around the reception and I still had a lot left over.

    BTW, I love, love, LOVE my shirt! I’m so glad it’s here. I’m going to take a picture of me wearing it, just for you! :)

  • Love the shoes, love the cake and of course you look beautiful! At our wedding the caterer was a NO SHOW! We all sat around for 30 minutes waiting for food to appear on our plates. My sister somehow got in touch with a local restaurant that brought over steaks for everyone. Saved the day! We had mini cakes on every table but with no caterer there was no one to serve them, so everyone just grabbed their dinner forks and dug in. Thank God we had a cocktail hour before dinner so everyone was feeling happy!

  • My husband wore those shoes…well, not THOSE shoes…his own version…to our wedding. I love them.