Our morning route to Jackson’s school takes us past a cemetery. The natural extension of which is me answering questions about zombies.
“Even though I know zombies don’t exist,” [the standard disclaimer], “what if all the people in the cemetery turned into zombies?”
“We’d have to find a way to kill them so there’d never be any more.”
This territory is well tread. Trodden. We’ve been here a lot, is what I’m saying, but yesterday Jackson thinks a step in a bold new direction.
“How could we prevent zombies from making more zombies?”
Ah, I think. The anticipation of supernatural horror brings us one step closer to the Age of Reason. “I guess we could cremate everyone, that way no zombies would be created ever again.”
Jackson, impressed at the fine crenellation of his mother’s mind, is silent for the rest of the ride.
Later, I pick him up at school. Before he’s even in the car, time collapses. “Mitchell,” he says, referring to one of his classmates, “doesn’t want to be cremated.”
“Oh, dear,” I say.
“I know,” he says, “he says he’d rather be a zombie.”
Awesome.
I heart Jackson.
Thanks to Jackson, I now have put Sexorcisto back in rotation.
I’d rather be a zombie too.
that same cemetery inspired many a zombie reflection when i was young. my best friend’s avocado ranch bordered one corner, and we were certain that we witnessed ghasts and other things undead.
and now, living 3000 miles away in brooklyn, we are 1 block away from the house white zombie used to practice in (the lead singer’s home). his mom runs a daycare there!
Time to watch Shaun of the Dead
http://www.kids-in-mind.com/s/shaunofthedead.htm
Not all Zombie’s are bad!
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/156/
404897225_915efbad8f.jpg?v=0
Oy, zombies are all the talk in my house these days. My seven-year-old asked me the other night, “Mom, if you were a zombie, you’d tell me, right?”
Of all the awesome answers I could have given, I went with, “Of course.”
But I wanted to say that if I were a zombie, I would have already eaten his brain. (But I can’t afford the therapy that would have been required after such a response.)
So this is what it’s like raising a little boy, huh? Awesome.
Letting him watch Shaun of the Dead is what started this whole nightmare.
Please ask Jackson: If I die, and am then encased in some sort of plastic seal that resembles marble (like how Japanese food is covered in that weird plastic stuff that doesn’t rot, but looking like a marble finish instead of clear plastic), is it possible that I could still be zombified, or am I a well-protected corpse? Because we need to know.
It’s what it’s like raising a little girl, too. My daughter’s 5, and it’s all zombies, all the time.
Shaun of the Dead was the first film dudelet ever saw. As everyone who knows me is all too bored of hearing. He was four months old and spent most of it sleeping so I’m not sure he took in the finer points.
I’ve tried playing him Rob Zombie but so far, he prefers Soundgarden or Mr Ray. Oh well.
I think zombie prevention should be a part of every school’s standardized testing. Because seriously, when the zombies come? Who gives a fuck who can add?
I definitely want to be cremated, but now I’m bummed that that means I can’t be a zombie. I never really thought about it in terms of zombiehood or the lack of zombiehood before.
mummies & zombies are of special concern to my daughter(5) as well. K was relieved to hear that another mother said cremation prevents the zombie takeover issue… she didn’t believe it when she thought it was only me…
Ok, I know I’m only a few years younger than you, but would you consider adopting me?
In all seriousness…is this what I have to look forward to? My guys is only 3 but good golly. Perhaps you can write a book…The TKK Mom’s Guide to raising your little boy.
now I’m going to have “a girl does not get killed by her make believe lover (cuz it’s hot)” stuck in my head all day. thanks to this post’s title.
my 24yr old co-worker is deathly afraid of zombies. And believes in them.
You know, there’s just not enough family planning for the zombie apocalypse. I think you’re doing a good thing by preparing Jackson for the coming hordes of the undead.
A reference to the “Thrill Kill Kult” and “White Zombie” in the same post? Talk about awesome….
I dunno, the zombies in Shawn of the Dead didnt seem too bad… I mean, for flesh eating monsters, they were kinda funny. And spunky little buggers!
That made me laugh out loud
I think if I had a choice, I’d rather be zombie. At least then you get to kind of be alive more… again… sortof.
Except for the “undead” part.
So, what about oral contraceptives for the zombie population…you know, to prevent procreation.
Perhaps the purchase of this book is in order? Better safe than sorry, I say.
Thank you, Drew! That link will save lives.
Mitchell won’t be saying that after someone lops his head off.
Hilarious! I often field questions like “How would you visit me if I became a Merman?”. So I do appreciate this post!
Awesome.
But also,
cemetEry
Langerloksh is right–awesome post. As to the spelling, right again. But also, Jackson might like the memory aid somebody taught me once: “There are three E’s buried in the cemetery!” Especially since you can say that particular letter in such a spooky, wailing voice.
I saw the title of this and had to click, having been a fan of TKK back in the day.
And you make a great point about cremation as a way to stem the tide of zombies.
Right now they’re just fee to walk out of the cemetary anytime they want. It really makes you “fear for your child.” Har har
I just read comment above mine and then checked to see if I misspelled cemetery. And I did. Durrr.
Your kid is Kooler than… Well, let’s just say he’s cool.
Right about now I feel the need for some unscheduled moshing.
cooler than jesus
Don’t forget the consumate zombie song!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwWF7JHwS4w