Why, Mom? Why did you take me to the mall when I was fourteen and buy a bunch of mugs with animals fucking on them?
Oh, wait! I get it! This was our “sex talk”! NOW I UNDERSTAND.
I do like the bunnies. They’re really going at it, aren’t they? So soft. God, it’s inspiring. That little guy with the stain on him is really focused. You can tell by the way his partner is grasping his hind legs that he must be doing something right.
Elephants? Not quite as sexy, Mom. They’re awfully cute, though, and imagine the things they can do with their trunks!
I think trunks must be key for elephant sex, because for the most part their bodies are too blocky to really get down in a way I’d understand. But here I am being judgmental when I know that sometimes even the best sex looks just like two beached whales.
Speaking of which. They didn’t make a sexy whale mug; instead we have the procreational aftermath whale mug. Look, the mother whale is even smiling! Or maybe she’s laughing at the penguins:
Penguins = not pornographic IN THE LEAST. What, you have those three on the lower left, you know, just chatting, getting to know each other. Then we have those two on the upper right, one holding the other everso gently while balancing on the head of the burly, immobilized penguin.
They all look scared out of their minds.
Jesus, I have to tell my therapist about this.
[Mugs by Taylor & Ng.]