Last night in bed.
Me: *giggling uncontrollably*
Jack: “What are you reading?”
Me: “Patrick Hughes.”
Jack: “Jesus, why don’t you two just get a room.”
Me: “Great idea!”
The next morning.
Jack (walking in holding an eighteen-inch squash): “Look what Lori gave me.”
Me: “Holy shit, is that a zucchini? That’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen in my life. Lori gave that to you?” (Jack built Lori’s house and now they’re in love.)
Jack: “She found it in her garden and she said as soon as she saw it she thought of me.”
So it’s nice to know that if Jack and I ever break up, he’ll have someone to turn to. And I’ll have, uh, a book and a dildo.
Also, new post at Babble: LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES. I BEG OF YOU.