Flat Pop

On July 26, 2007 by Eden M. Kennedy

Of the many horrible moments I forgot to include in my high school reunion post, the most humiliating one was when, toward the end of the evening Amy, a classmate with whom I’d never really hit it off, came up to me and told me that she’d found a bunch of old school newspapers in which I’d written a column “telling everyone what music they should listen to.” Yes, if you wanted to be right-thinking, politically correct, relentlessly hip human being in 1982, you would have chosen me as your guiding light. I was one of those insufferable people who, if “I listen to bands that don’t even exist yet” t-shirts had been invented then, surely would have worn one every day. Under a deteriorating Levi’s jacket festooned with punk paraphernalia, and maybe coordinated with some pink corduroy pants made by my mom.

Anyway, faced with the passionate snobbism of my youth, I had no choice but to bury my face in my hands and apologize for having been such a twit. In that brief moment, though, I think that Amy forgave me. At least, she had a good laugh at my expense. Group hug!

The problem we’re now facing is that I’ve been handed another opportunity to unleash my pop-cultural opinions on the world: I now have a once-a-week column at Work It, Mom, called Flat Pop. The title is Jack’s. Because what do I know about what’s hip anymore? Precisely nothing. And that’s the point! My pop is flat; someone opened the can and left it out on the counter all night, the fizz is gone and it’s all syrupy and warm. That doesn’t stop me from having all sorts of opinions, of course, but at least now I realize that I’m completely full of shit.

toothpaste for dinner
toothpastefordinner.com

Comments

comments

24 Responses to “Flat Pop”

  • You say Flat Pop, Work It Mom says Flap Pop. I say I will read it anyway.

  • Holy shit. Too funny. I don’t think I’ll even tell them.

  • For an average person (well not exactly what you said)but anyway you say it really well…great commentaries on Flat Pop. Love the column.

  • Fussy Industries, Inc.

    I want in at the bottom. If you know what I mean.

  • Yeah Flap Pop! Flat Pop. Fat Plop.

    whatever, I will read it….

  • Count on me to be a regular reader, because I was that guy in high school, too. Class of ’82 ftw!

  • love toothpaste for dinner! I am friends with Andy and Nat! So awesome-
    Love yr haircut
    -amy

  • Thanks for the explanation, as a New Yorker, I would have never associated “Pop” with soda. I may read this column, but I’ll never try to speak it out loud for fear of saying “Fat Plop.”

  • Ah, the benefits of age. among which self-awareness is one of the shittiest.

  • Am I the only one who is led to a login page for “Flappop”?

  • Oh that Jack is smart. What a great title he came up with! I’m not as crazy about Flap Pop. I say make sure they give the kid his due.

  • Ahhh… I get it. There’s a typo in the URL. If you go here or just type in flatpop after workitmom.com/bloggers, you’ll get to read all the Flat Pop goodness.

  • You turned me onto Amy Winehouse…I’d say you’re in the know about pop. Good luck!

    The Flat Pop/Flap Pop/Fat Plop nonsense is like a good game of Telephone. Next people will be saying “hey, have you heard of that column called Flack Stop?” Then there’ll be Fast Mock, Fad Stock, and Daft Jock.

  • I’m pretty good at discovering new music on my own, but I turn to my significantly younger friends to keep me up-to-date on all things technological. Except the iPhone — I noticed that one on my own. As far as what’s hip, it’s all just a matter of our opinions, anyway, isn’t it?

  • I’m so glad you cleared up the title. I read Work It, Mom!, and I kept wondering, “What does Flap Pop mean? I don’t get it!” Now I get it–typo!!!

  • at least now I realize that I’m completely full of shit

    Self-knowledge is the beginning of all wisdom :-)

  • So, just curious? Back in the day, didja wear a Dead Kennedys patch on your pink corduroys? ‘Cause, if you did…well, that’s just freaky.
    http://momo-fali.blogspot.com

  • I am absolutely dying of embarrassment.

    Why did I read the comments? Why?

    The typo has now been corrected.

    And I may have to find a whole new career now because I didn’t notice the typo until I was told about it…

  • OK, it’s true. You were officially cooler than everybody, so you don’t get to be one of those people whose high school unpopularity planted the seeds of her genius. But your willingness to share your dorkitude with the general public over these years has been very charming.

  • Reading you has totally helped me to define my own aesthetic, re: yes, I love me in jeans & tees. Now, I find out you’re not hip!?! Carry on….

  • I love the title of your new column and I think you’ll do it well! Great, dry humor in your writing…love it!

  • Clueless is the new Hip.

  • They fixed it, it now says “Flat Pop”

    … still funny ;)

  • I have a friend who won’t drink pop fizzy. She will let it get flat, and then drink it. I maintain she’s a little nuts, but she loves it.