Four Easy Steps

On July 16, 2007 by Eden M. Kennedy

Just how exactly does one go about dropping one’s phone in the toilet? It’s easy, especially if you’re me! Just go like this:

1. Have a little down time and decide to clean all the bits of New York vacation crap out of your happy Rasta messenger bag.


Fig 1: The Happy Rasta Messenger Bag resting comfortably on a green velvet chair that legend has it was rescued from the street some time in the last forty-five years.

2. Remove gum wrappers, ticket stubs, stray business cards, and an empty Chocolate Altoid tin and file accordingly.

3. Regularly keep the company of a small boy who likes you to buy him soft pretzels from street vendors, who will not eat a whole pretzel at once and so will tearfully beg you not to throw it away but please, please, please save its doughy remains in your bag and then throw it out the next day while he’s in the tub.

3. Look at the layer of soft pretzel-borne rock salt at the bottom of your bag and think about what would be the absolute worst way to get rid of it. Wet sponge? Vacuum cleaner? Ask NASA to deposit your bag in a gravity-free environment with a porthole in the door so you can watch all the salt crystals float around the room like little asteroids while a chamber orchestra plays the Blue Danube Waltz? Turn your bag upside down over the toilet and shake out all the salt?

4. Walk into the bathroom, turn the bag upside down, and dump all the salt into the toilet. Hmm, can’t get that last little chunk? SHAKE THE BAG REALLY HARD. Watch your phone slide out of the open side pocket and fall into the toilet.

UPDATE: Four hours later it actually seems to be working at about 75%. I wasn’t ready to get an iPhone yet anyway.

Comments

comments

42 Responses to “Four Easy Steps”

  • that is a serious

    D’OH !

  • That is my fear any time I have my phone near a toilet. That sounds a little weird but…I am amazingly klutzy and know deep deep down inside, I will one day drop my phone into a gross public toilet. Ew.

  • Last weekend I was in a particularly disgusting rest area bathroom and using my foot to flush the toilet and I had the sudden fear that my sandal would just plop off in the toilet.

  • I… um….

    *ahem*

    The toilet?

    ?

  • This is only making me fear what is inside my own bag. Yikes.

  • Did you take the battery out and let it all dry completely? It won’t get hurt except if it’s required to function while damp.

    And… lysol evaporates.

    My dad was walking my dog once, is how I know these sad facts.

  • At least you didn’t flush. A good friend of mine managed to both drop and flush her cell phone (it was in her trouser pocket as she squatted down). Not only did she lose her cell phone, but she also had to call a plumber to unblock her toilet. Just goes to show you should always look before you flush, even if it was a particularly nasty curry….

  • I dropped my ipod in a toilet once. Apparently, ipods are impervious to toilet water.

    P.S. I was wearing a fussy t-shirt a few weeks ago and a woman stopped me in the hall and said, “Fussy! That’s my favorite blog!”

  • I recently did almost the exact same thing. My phone worked at 100% the next day…after I dismantled all the parts, put it in front of the fan, and waited anxiously.
    My brand-new TV was just as good when I knocked over a watering can right on top of the vents in the back (smooooooooooooth)…but it had to dry for several days

  • um yeah but how do you disinfect?

  • if there isn’t any current resident in the toilet, it shouldn’t need disinfecting. This is Mrs. Kennedy’s toilet, and therefore pure. Tsk.

    My hubs did a similar thing: fell in a lake. Oh! then he likes to bike home, in the rain, with the phone in pocket (the ziplocâ„¢ bag to protect it nestled in the backpack). Still working!

  • i’ve dropped 2 cell phones into the toilet & they were goners. i felt indescribably lame! hey, jim turned me on to your blog a couple years ago. i dated him (jim)at UCSB & knew jack! i was waiting for an oppty to post a comment…

  • ahhhhhh, the iphone. everytime i hear about the iphone these days i get all woozie. have you actually TOUCHED the iphone? after recently touching a friend’s iphone, i started reading everything i could get my hands on about it. i watched a 20-minute video about the hedonistic pleasures of the iphone. then the other night i dreamed about the iphone. i dreamed that everything i touched throughout my day had to be touched as if it were the iphone; in this gentle, swooping way. double tapping, dragging, zooming in, zooming out. it was insane and i couldn’t escape it. and i loved it.

    p.s. this is not a paid advertisement for the iphone.

  • DISINFECT?!?? Obviously you have no children…no, even better, you have ONE. After two, you don’t give a shit (heehee) about germs. Plus, my phone made it under the line of the 3-second rule. And there was no poop in there. Speaking of which, several years ago I was in a bar playing pool with two male friends. One of them went to the bathroom and a few minutes later we heard an ear-piercing scream. He came out of the bathroom sheet-white…he had dropped his phone in the bowl when he stood up to pull up his pants. Best thing was, he was less freaked out about dropping his phone in poop than he was about what his wife would do if she called his cell and he didn’t answer. AHHHH, Trained Men.

  • My daughter dropped my camera in my beer last year, so I feel your pain. According to my father-in-law, the best way to dry it out is to put it in a bag of rice. The rice absorbs the liquid. Good luck!

  • A coworker of mine once dropped his phone out of a pants pocket into the toilet while at work. The rest of us tried our best to figure out just how that had happened (picture several grown adults attempting fully clothed positions of bathroom postures…) but we couldn’t fathom it and made merciless fun of him. It’s taken over five years but, since our fateful laughter, each one of us has “Tylered” our phone and all but one fell victim to the exact same pocket disaster. My own study shows that single people disinfect; brand new parents fully replace; seasoned parents wish the danged phone would dry faster!

  • Yeah, that seems like how to do it.

  • My hubby has a Timbuk 2 bag as well! It’s not in cool rasta colors, though.

  • Wait, there are chocolate altoids?

  • I put mine through a whole wash cycle, I didn’t realize it was in the pocket of my jacket. Except for few sticky keys, you have to push them more than once, it works fine.

  • Next time shake your bag out over a random Nuclear Reactor. Less toxic.

  • *delurking*

    I once left my phone on the deck overnight, during which it poured continuously. I found it the next day and it seemed hopelessly broken, but after letting it dry for a couple of days it was fine. I think they’re resilient to water, though it may help if your phone is the most basic model available.

  • i can’t help it, i’ve mild ocd! THERE ARE TWO THIRD POINTS IN THAT LIST, AAARGH!!!
    ok, now that this is off my chest – from my experience, blow-drying can save a phone. and any other gadget you might want to drop down a toilet.

  • The redneck solution is to take a black trash bag and to place your phone and battery in it. Place the apparatus in a sunny location and bake the bejesus out of it. You will have a working phone.

  • OMG I have lost 2 phones to water. One was when I was filling up the tub for the boys.. dropped it right in there.. plop.. worked no more. Toilet.. son dropped it right in there.. and I was able to grab it just in time b4 he flushed. We also lost a little plastic phone to the toilet and he did flush and it backed up the toilet hubby is a rennassiance man.. in that he is a true jack of all trades, and does plumbing too.. in addition to telephone work, stone patio’s, decks, and fixes cars.. He managed to fish the toy out of the toilet, and gave the toilet a whole going over in the process and replaced with some new parts.. to make it sit still on the bathroom floor.. and not wobble around anymore.. So all good.. toy cell phone thankfully died also.. had the taped voice of my MIL saying HOW she missed the boys and wanted to see them soon.. they used to play it over and over and over.. thank the god’s it died. XX Heather :)

  • the iPhone is waaaay cool. can’t think of a better excuse…

  • Dropped my phone in the toilet twice. Yes, twice. Once it dries out it should be fine. Or you could be grossed out by the toilet water and get the i-phone anyway. Then I can live vicariously through you….yes, you should do that!

  • I did the same thing. I stepped into the bathroom while holding my phone. As I bent to retrieve a towel, my phone leapt acrobatically out of my hand, fell geadfirst into the toilet and never recovered.

  • I had a similar experience with the phone in the front pocket of a hoodie sweatshirt while at work. The best part was when my co worker walked into my office, saw my disassembled drying phone and said, “Dropped your phone in the toilet?” The joy of kindred spirits.

  • been there, done that.
    i was more than slightly intoxicated, had the cell phone in my back pocket, used the loo before going to bed, was unaware that said cell phone dropped into the toilet after i flushed and pulled up my jeans, staggered to the bed and slept for 8 hours. then boyfriend now husband woke up in the morning and went to relieve himself and luckily saw the phone first, yelling out- “hey hon guess what’s floating in the toilet!”

    the thing had been marinating for 8+ hours and i used the blow dryer to dry it out and it WORKED!!

  • LOL…that is funny…

    And precisely my luck too!

    I keep telling myself I don’t want an iphone…it’s not working!

  • I’ve lost 2 phones to The Great Bowl of China.

    In both cases I’ve removed the battery, dried them out with a hairdryer and indignantly returned them (an LG and a Motorola, about 2 years apart) to the store.

    In both instances the store said, “Oh yeah, we’ve had trouble with these models.” Fools. And then I got 2 new free phones without having any protection or replacement plans.

    I love it when I screw the MAN.

  • My husband left his phone in the pocket of his jeans. Unfortunately (for him), he did laundry that weekend. He didn’t check the pockets. Best as we can tell, the phone survived the washer but not the dryer. Of course, we don’t really know. We didn’t check it in between. (Snort.)

  • I have not had the pleasure. My best friend lost hers because her cat knocked it off the sink. But my mom was in New York with her friends when one of them lost hers and refused to retrieve it.

    You see, she was having a colonoscopy and had been taking that great cleansing medicine they give you.

  • I swung around to flush once and the phone fell out of my pocket into the toilet I had just weed into. I rinsed it and dried it out and it worked fine. I swapped it with someone at work without telling them why and every time they used that phone I snicker and think “haha you’re using the wee phone”.

  • LOL, I saw that coming! I haven’t actually dropped a cell phone in the toilet, but our bathroom cabinet is right over the toilet, so I have been known to open the cabinet while the toilet lid was up and lose a lipstick or two as they catapulted out of their cabinet for no good reason. (Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle at work perhaps?). Being lipsticks I couldn’t quite bring myself to use them again even though the water was “clean” at the time.

  • I need to drop my phone in the toilet to have a good excuse to get one with a full keyboard for texting. My 20-year-old babysitters have taught me how. My toddlers got nothin’ on me! (yet)

  • Method #2:
    Step 1:Where old fashioned panel front maternity pants that only have back pockets.
    Step 2:Have a typical I-gotta-pee-right-now preggo emergency that requires aiming at toilet while still rapidly removing of said pants
    Step 3: Stand up and look down not comprehending why something dark is down there in the water when you’re pretty sure you were only peeing.
    Step 4: Reality finally dawns on the preggo brain at the same time you realize no one is going to fish that out for you.

  • I have that same bag (different colors, of course), which has also provided my phone with some significant downtime; except it was by way of a slice of cookies & cream pie instead of a toilet.

    (p.s. Love your blog, I’m new.)

  • Our cell phone went through the washer AND dryer and, amazingly, still works.

    Tough little buggers.

    Well, except for the one that my husband dropped at work and killed. Go figure. Spin cycle? Works fine. Drop on floor? Dead as the proverbial doornail.

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