Since Last We Spoke

On July 6, 2007 by Eden M. Kennedy

Since last we spoke, I’ve managed to bicycle across the country!

No. I’m lying, as usual. I’m flying the whole way to New York. I’m in terrible shape, I don’t think I could pedal more than a few miles before getting all whiny about it and making everyone get out of the plane and push.

So according to the seat-back live map in front of me, we’re currently over Omaha, Nebraska. I’m writing this in MID-AIR. The only thing that would make it better, apart from having just unplugged myself from six back-to-back Simpsons episodes, would be if JetBlue served food. And we were weightless, and wearing astronauts suits we could pee in.

Hello, Ohio!

What I was going to say was that I’ve been reading The New York Times — you know, to get a feel for the local be-bop — and in its Thursday Styles section I found possibly the best correction I have ever read in a newspaper’s corrections column:

An article last week about inexpensive dresses misstated the name of a clothing store on Broadway. It is Yellow Rat Bastard, not Dirty Yellow Bastard.

Aaaand, that’s it! We’ve been granted leave to pass into the realm of the Papaya King, me, Jack, and Jackson. We had a JetBlue coupon and all 650-odd dollars of it was going to expire if we didn’t use it. Grandma Susan graciously vacated her apartment for us, there are fresh sheets on the pull-out couch, and we’ve got tickets to a Yankees game (which are remaining under Jack’s complete control this time).

In the truck on the way to Burbank airport:

Jackson, from the back seat: “I wish I was 23 years old.”

Me, no coffee yet: “Why?”

Jackson, growing a beard and pubic hair: “So I could give my kids alcohol.”

Now we’re over Des Moines. It took five minutes for me to write my way from Omaha to Des Moines! Ha! Take that Mr. Marcel “I think I’ll stay in bed for the next twenty years and write the greatest novel of the twentieth century” Proust! Wrong place, wrong time, sucker.

(Q: Can you calculate our air speed? A: not fucking fast enough! No, just kidding, it’s 540 mph.)

Anyway, I’ll post when I can. We’ll be busy showing Jackson around and looking for child-friendly diversions with the help of several old hands, but if anyone has any good suggestions I’d be grateful, please leave a comment or e-mail me at fussy at fussy dot org, I’ll be looking to leech off of an open wireless connection so I can keep in touch.

Also, new post at Babble.



24 Responses to “Since Last We Spoke”

  • Newspaper corrections crack me up. Lately, the following correction – which is either hilarious or humiliating, I still can’t decide – ran in our local paper:

    Nikki Leonard was incorrectly identified as a man in a story on the Boise Gay Pride Parade Saturday on Main 2.

    The in-flight map thing is the best thing EVER.

  • Oh my, I am cracking up! You were flying over my residence just a short while ago! Perhaps during my commute…if I knew you were flying over, I’d have…er, floated up some cake? What I really want to know is…are you going to visit Yellow Rat Bastard? Sounds like a place ex-husbands shop.

  • John’s pizzeria off of time sqare 260 w 44th. It’s an old church, great big huge ass martinis and pizza that is also superb. Great wall mural that will keep you busy if you get to sit next to it. or you can buy the poster.

    It was the only restaurant we could all agree upon with two boys, 10 and 12

  • Word on the street is that the Diana Ross playground is pretty fly.

  • In no particular order:
    Central Park Zoo (small, yes, but perfect for a short attention span)
    While in CP, check out the Boathouse and maybe even rent a boat to paddle around. I’ve always been a fan of the model sailboats in the Conservatory Water. Heck – all of Central Park is a blast.

    The American Museum of Natural History

    Papaya King

    Toys R Us in Times Square – don’t shoot me for saying this – mostly because it has an actual ferris wheel inside the store

    If he’s in to fireman and trucks and stuff, you could take him to the NYFD Museum – or to just any firehouse and they’d be pretty cool.

    The Children’s Museum of Manhattan has a Greek history exhibit (cool huge wooden horse) if he’s in to Greek myths and legends.

    Have fun!

  • God I’m a hick. I’m amazed by in flight blog posting. Have fun in NYC!

  • Where’s Art Linkletter when you need him?

  • If you do Lady Liberty, bear in mind that you can get to the island with just the price of the ferry, but you need to get free tickets 2-7 days in advance if you want to actually go inside the pedestal or the statue. The website is

  • I like reading the Sky Mall mag whilst flying. How many hair removal devices can you find?

  • Welcome, Fussy clan! So, the Museum of Sex and a late night dinner and drinks at The Spotted Pig are out. I would suggest a walk across the Brooklyn Bridge to the Brooklyn Ice Cream Factory and Empire-Fulton Ferry State Park, but a) kids don’t like long walks, do they? and b) tomorrow it will be taken over by and an audience of soon-to-be-deaf hipsters. But hey, if Jackson has any sort of Animal streak in him, then go for it. There will be plenty of kids there he can dream of giving alcohol to.

    Have a fantastic time while you’re here, whatever you end up doing!

  • I’m not happy with HTML today.

  • i second the ideas of going to The Children’s Museum of Manhattan, Toys R Us in Times Square and John’s Pizzeria on W 44th St.

    The Staten Island Ferry is a fun and FREE way to see the NY Harbor and Statue of Liberty. Make sure you sit on the right side of the ferry going over to SI and you’ll get a great view of the Statue and Ellis Island- especially a great idea on a hot day.

    Have Fun!

  • Have a great time!

    May you always be near a wireless ‘hot spot!’

  • Coney Island, check out the side show. There’s no telling if it’ll be around in years to come and the fire eating woman is both gorgeous and awesome.

  • Shhh…I didn’t tell you this but there are tons of unsecured wireless connections in NYC. When I visit my grandmother, I just check out each room to see where the best signal is, and voila! There are usually at least 15 connections going at once around her apartment and usually two or three unsecured ones.

    Thank you oh wonderful apartment dwellers!

    As for kids stuff, I agree with the Central Park Zoo recommendation.

    And obviously, Jackson is a boy, so you might not have read this to him, but my mother used to read “Eloise” to me when I was little, and when we would go to NYC to see my grandmother, I always made her take me to the Plaza Hotel to look for Eloise. They even have a portrait of Eloise down one hallway.

    Oh and how could we all leave these two out!!!

    Go to the top of the Empire State Building!

    Go to FAO Swartz!!!

    Have fun!!

  • I second Coney Island, and did you know that the Met is “suggested donation”? Not that I’m thaaat cheap. (Cheaper.)

    There has got to be some sweet street festival action going on this weekend. I loved those when I lived there and Jack/son might like that vibe, too. Yummy food, free live music, lots of people who defy categorization, yay!

  • I second the Toys R Us in Time Square – the first time I was in it, I was 26, and I nearly peed my pants it was so damn cool. There’s also an ESPN Zone in Times Square, with lots of stuff for the boys to do (assuming they’re into sports, that is – I sort of figure most men are) – there’s even TVs in the damn bathrooms. Have fun, and welcome to the East Coast! (P.S. Come to Philly next time!!)

  • Here is a link to the map of the FREE wi-fi links in the city ( if that helps.

    I recently discovered that the true joy in every place you visit is measure by how good the food is. My last great meal in NY was at this place downtown for brunch: the best huevos rancheros in the universe. I’ll try to figure out what the hell the name of the place was . . .

  • I once drove from Las Vegas to Atlanta, by myself, without stopping.

    That was unpleasant enough. I don’t want to imagine it on a bike. Though, most of Arizona is downhill if you’re traveling east.

  • Fresh sheets on the pull-out couch is just about the yummiest thing Bossy has ever heard.

  • This is brilliant. We want to do New York on the way to Blogher and I’d been wondering what to go and look at.

    I’ve only been once. My father kept hissing at me to stop looking up all the fucking time because it made us look like fucking tourists and then someone would fucking shoot us.

  • I third the Children’s Museum of Manhattan. I haven’t actually been there myself, but I have a friend who lives in the area and she takes her nieces there all of the time. They’re a bit younger than Jackson (four and two, I think), but I always thought it sounded pretty fun from her descriptions.

    Central Park is always fun fun fun!

  • Every child I know wants Dylan’s candy – 3rd Avenue and 59th. Museum of Natural History – but that is an obvious call…

  • A virtual smackdown to M. Proust is just about the best use of the internet I’ve ever seen. Thank you. Also, please pick me up a little something at Yellow Rat Bastard. Thank you.