Recent Transmissions from the PR Universe
Once in awhile I get an e-mail from a PR person who wants me to write a blog post about one of her clients. I must have been pretty feeble in a previous life to deserve to be left on some infernal master list of babybloggers way past Jackson's toddlerhood expiration date -- actually, I didn't even start getting targeted by these people until he was already able to pour Smirnoff from the value jug without spilling. So I tend to get a little bent when someone persists in taking up my, uh, valuable inbox space.
Typically they read whatever post is at the top of my page, work some comment about it into their first paragraph, and then paste in their pitch directly below.
Now, I haven't been so hot at replying to e-mail the last couple of months, and I'm really sorry about that, I have a few really sincere messages growing stale in my drafts folder because I just haven't had the wherewithal to respond.
This kind of stuff, though, I feel okay about ignoring it. And yet it persists on appearing! Because it's the job of online PR to woo me into inserting their client's latest cross-platform marketing solution into a long pointless blog post about my blisters.
Well, it's either that or take out these moods on Jack, and I'd rather not destroy my marriage over [giant retailer's] crazy dayz bargain lunchbox dealz.
Typically they read whatever post is at the top of my page, work some comment about it into their first paragraph, and then paste in their pitch directly below.
Now, I haven't been so hot at replying to e-mail the last couple of months, and I'm really sorry about that, I have a few really sincere messages growing stale in my drafts folder because I just haven't had the wherewithal to respond.
This kind of stuff, though, I feel okay about ignoring it. And yet it persists on appearing! Because it's the job of online PR to woo me into inserting their client's latest cross-platform marketing solution into a long pointless blog post about my blisters.
Hello Eden,This is basically personalized spam. Sweet robot monkey god, it makes me itch. I know that someone somewhere thinks the Internet is full of soccer moms swapping tips on where to get the latest backpacks -- I have not seen such web sites, but maybe they're out there. I know it's bad enough that I run ads on my site, but they're there for a reason: if you want a few thousand Internet eyeballs on your product, there's space for it over in the right column, and I will get some money for it, which will not be spent on backpacks, but on gin. So let me get back to destroying my template with my Neanderthal html skills, kthxdie.
I hope you are doing well. I'm writing today in follow up to my [intentionally ignored] message last week. I'm eager to hear your thoughts and feedback on [big retailer's] online resource center and back-to-school promotions and deals.
If you are interested, please feel free to share with your readers the shopping guide and news of the [huge retailer's] contest.
You can contact me with any questions about [massive retailer's] programs. Have a great day!
Dear Multinational Retailer!I guess PR people don't like hearing from me as much as I don't like hearing from them:
I'm sure it's a great program, my son just happens to go to a school where they provide all his materials so we won't be going to [your store] and there's no reason for me to blog about something we're not using, sorry.
Thank you for taking the time to respond to me. How convenient that the school provides materials.Oooh, that sounds kind of snippy, doesn't it. I realize my frustration is kind of petty, but it's not flattering to get this sort of attention, it's stupid and I'd like it to stop. I suppose I'll have about as much success at making that happen by writing a long and listless complaint like this as I did when I thought flipping off guys who harassed me in the street would shame men everywhere into renouncing their sense of entitlement toward unfamiliar women's tits. And look how well that worked out.
Well, it's either that or take out these moods on Jack, and I'd rather not destroy my marriage over [giant retailer's] crazy dayz bargain lunchbox dealz.
38 Comments:
I can't feel your pain, since I have, like, six people who read my blog, and I can use even construction worker's entitled comments upon my appearance, but the inbox space, I can sympathize with. I hate personalized spam.
Yes, unfortunately there are waaay too many PR hacks out there who don't understand that a) bloggers don't usually care about whatever it is you're selling, and b) unless what you're pitching is something that blogger might be genuinely interested in, you should forget it and send your stupid pitches to the slush pile.
As a newbie PR hack, I learned the hard way.
Hi Eden! Love your site.
But GAVIN DEGRAW!!!!!!! WOW!!!!!!
Of course she was snippy. Do not feed the PR flacks. Do not touch the PR flacks. Do not taunt the PR flacks. PR flacks are dangerous under pressure. PR flacks should not be used around children. PR flacks should only be handled using radiation suits.
Hello Eden,
I'm sorry to hear that the email from our representative offended you in any way.
As an effort to make it up to you I assure you that we will only contact you every month or so until armageddon or August 17th, 2043, whichever comes later.
On the plus side, we seriously do have some crazy dayz bargain lunchbox dealz. ORLY? YRLY!
*shidder*
So glad I don't get those emails. Especially if they called me Eden. Unless of course they were referring to me as a biblical pre-sin paradise only as if we were on a first name basis.
..and yes, I realize I said *shidder* *shidder* is the new *shudder* and that would be my new band name if it didn't have so many girlie asterisks.
Where was I?
I don't know anymore.
You're too kind. Seriously.
I either ignore them entirely or respond to let them know that if they want me to write about a particular product, it would behoove them to send me some of said product. Funny how they have the budget to spend day after day spamming bloggers, but they don't have the budget to actually pony up some goodies.
They just don't get it. Why would you want to waste a good blog post on a massive retailer campaign? I love that your e-mail made the flack kind of snippy.
My dear Mrs. Kennedy, I am sorry that I fail to tell you how fabulous you are as often as I think it.
I get those too and ignore all but the ones that say something in reference to MY STATE, which by the way, is INSANE or DRUNK on any given day, but otherwise I live in a goddamn province, eh?
Like men have penises (peni?), PR people have email. Neither species seems to know how to use their tool properly.
To paraphrase:
Hey, Mrs. Kennedy! Which is it -- vodka or gin? Pick a side. We're at war!
Crap. I was really hoping to pick up some backpack buying tips today. I hear that [multi-national retailer's] are so much better made and cheaply priced than [multi-national retailer's.] I guess I'll have to go to one of those other blogs that I read that give me helpful advice which is in no way influenced by a PR flack and a small check.
In the meantime, I'll just have to read Fussy for the entertainment value. I guess.
Spam is spam, even when dressed in something else. If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and walks like a duck, it is either a duck or a PR person dressed like one.
Interesting related discussion in Tom Coates' photostream on Flickr:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/plasticbag/1186789736/
Mom-101 also had a post about this crap recently, so it's in the air:
http://mom-101.blogspot.com/2007/07/lookin-out-for-mah-peeps-thats-you.html
And yes, that PR goofball was snippy. I would have felt compelled to respond as you did, and then her response back would have haunted me all day. I'd be replaying it in my head, getting annoyed by the snippy tone over and over again, until something worse drove it out. I hate that my mind works this way. :-/
you changed your font. i bet you've just been waiting for someone to ignore you whole post just to mention it. well, the wait is over!
also, for all the stuff i shill on my website, that i'm generally interested in, you'd think some pr person out there would bite. oh well. i guess it's time to adopt a baby and become a daddy blogger, as all these people seem to care about is networking mom and dad types who can shill off to other mom and dad types and their consumerist spawn.
I love every single one of you guys. Don't ever leave me!
Dear Fussy,
Imagine the nerve,
love Bossy.
PS: Adore your writer's block bit. Will you pimp Bossy?
She probably wouldn't get it if you just reply with, "unsubscribe. permanently." would she?
I like the new font, too. Where can I buy one like that?
I was just on the receiving end of a snippy PR lady who was upset I didn't review 3 different types (3 different *pounds*) of coffee on my blog the day after I received it.
(in August! Reviewing coffee in AUGUST!)
I just got another one! Here we go:
"We were wondering if you would be interested in reviewing the new [DELETED] minivan for two weeks? We would provide you with the vehicle and ask that after and/or during the two weeks you write about it on your blog. Following that, we would like to advertise on your site. Ideally we would like this to take place in October. Please let us know by the end of the week if you would be interested and if you would suggest any of your other product offerings to us.
If you have a media kit and/or can provide us with your sites statistics that would be great as well. i.e. impressions, time spent/person, etc. Do you happen to be measured in ComScore?
We look forward to hearing from you soon."
OH MY GOD, A MEDIA KIT? MY BLOG IS NOT A COLUMN IN MOTOR TRENDS MAGAZINE.
Sweet robot monkey god, it makes me itch.
I am so borrowing this. Full credit will be given, I assure you. Furthermore I am in full agreement with tuckova's comment. :D
Slight tweak to blog design = writer's block. I time-honored tradition. Huzzah!
a minivan?
wow.
I'm impressed! The closest I can come is frosted mini wheats. And even then the offer was cash for goods brokered through a number of grocery stores.
Maybe it's my lack of captivating content. Maybe I don't have a strong enough government lobbyist. Maybe it's because I can never seem to finish a
I got that email. I was kinda surprised when I got the follow-up email. I mean, didn't they realize that I wasn't interested?
They could have saved a few key strokes and haunted someone else.
Sweet Robot Monkey God.
I just like that phrase.
Bah, at least offer copious amounts of money to plug useless products.
I'm not sure I like the new layout/font, but then I've been known to resist change. Writing is great, as always.
I once got an email asking me to blog about "Army Wives." I emailed the guy back and politely said that I simply wasn't interested in "Army Wives." That if it was about female soldiers, or even female soldiers and "army wives," maybe I'd be interested, but since it's strictly about women in traditional gender roles, it simply wasn't interesting to me.
So he emails me back and says he understands, but maybe some of my readers would be interested.
And then I realized the difference of a personal blog - dude, if it doesn't interest ME ME ME, I don't write about it, hello!
EXACTLY. I am not some sort of shopping maven, providing coverage of all the stuff out there. If they spent one minute reading my blog that would be obvious, but all they see is someone who has readers who fall into their target demographic. Seriously, everyone should follow Lori's link up there to Tom Coates, they're really turning the issue over and looking at it far more deeply than I am capable of doing.
Oh how my skin crawls with the loathing of viral marketing.
Did anyone else out there ever fall for that crappy "we need your feedback on a new TV pilot" scam (where what they really end up grilling you about is the commercials; the "pilot" is an ancient failure called 'Dads.')? Someone else out there has blogged about it, but the humiliation immediately cured me of my egotistic notion that anyone cared what I thought. All I did during the followup "interview" was doodle and say over and over again, "I didn't watch the commercials; I hate commercials."
They just want to experience your softness.
I am participating in BlogDay 2007 I had to go hunting for 5 blogs that I normally didn't read and link them up at my place to share with my readers. You fricken rock!!! Linked up and added to my blog roll. Happy Day to you.
I would have written the post about how awesome they're lunchboxes hold dismembered fingers on the way to the ER.
I hate Spam! and Spam hates me!
Wait...
You mean I, as a strange man, should NOT have a sense of entitlement about an unfamiliar woman's tits?
Are you sure about that?
Because that's not in the Man Manual I got when I went through puberty all those years ago. It clearly states on pages 2, 17, 23, 45-56, 117 and in appendix C that I'm supposed to stare at women's chests.
if you want the flacks to stop, read this:
http://itsnotalecture.blogspot.com/2007/07/open-letter-to-mommy-bloggers.html
At least they got your name right.
Lately, I'm Julie, Lisa, blogger, and "Mom."
I think Mom cracks me up the most.
well, there's something to be said about blogging passive-aggressive cutsie illustrations, after all...
I've decided emailing them back is a good way to funnel my hidden aggression.
It's way cheaper than therapy.
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