I was sitting at my computer looking at retro clip art and trying to think of a clever new t-shirt to hawk so as to keep avoiding the soul death of retail employment, when I heard a thunderclap and suddenly there’s a guy in a red satin devil’s outfit, coughing and waving a cloud of smoke away from his face.
“Hey!” he said, thumping his papier-mache trident on the carpet. “Why don’t you copy those hacks over at The New Yorker and make the people who comment on your site furnish a hilarious caption to that dorky image you just downloaded for $8.95?”
“Reading Fussy made my penis 31% bigger!”
“Good idea!” I said.
“I know,” he said.
“Uh, wait a minute. Do I owe you now?”
He paused and lit a fresh cigarette with the tip of his tail.
“Cute,” I said.
“I know, it’s showy, but I’m attached to my little tricks.”
“So do I . . .?”
“The first one’s always free,” he said. Then he giggled. What a nut that guy is!
Okay, so here are the rules:
1. The caption needs to have the word “Fussy” in it.
2. Referencing the fact that Fussy is a web site would be nice, too.
3. I’d kind of prefer it if there were no profanity in the caption because I find that most people won’t wear a shirt like that out in public or around kids, but do what you have to do, funny is funny.
4. I and my panel of yet-to-be-determined comedy experts will choose the best three captions and then I’ll put them up for a vote. The winner gets a high quality, silk-screened shirt in the style of their choice (men’s, women’s, or youth)!
5. I’m opening up comments to everyone so you don’t have to sign in to Blogger to leave a caption, but if you want to be in the running for the prize you need to use a valid e-mail address in your comment I.D. so I can contact you.
6. You can enter more than one caption.
7. Comments will close Friday at noon Pacific time.
That image again:
Go ahead, give it a shot.
i went to fussy.org and all i got was this lousy t-shirt.
For nourishment, I use bologna. For good writing, Fussy.org.
“I put the F U in fussy.”
“If this piece of paper I’m holding was a blog, it’d be Fussy.org.”
“Cut the lunch time banter, Colin, I’m reading Fussy.org.”
“Hey, what does Fussy.org say about i-beam welding?”
“Do you read Fussy.org?”
“This is the 1950s, Bob.”
“Oh, right. How’re the wife and kids?”
Or:
“Do you read Fussy.org?”
“This is the 1950s, Bob. And I’m straight.”
“Oh, right. How’re the wife and kids?”
Fussy.org: welding well is the best revenge.
Fussy.org: the most-discussed blog at America’s job sites.
“Do you have Fussy.org on your blogroll, too?”
“Fussy.org. Turning men gay since 1950.”
“Stop staring at these douchebags and go to fussy.org.”
“One of them reads Fussy.org. Can you tell which one?”
“Fussy.org makes lunch-time fun.”
“Fussy.org. Roll up your sleeves and dig in.”
“Make the men work. Fussy.org”
“I’d only have sex with one of them. Fussy.org”
“Does that say what I think it says?”
“No, Joe. That’s an F.”
“Oh, I thought the wife was tryin’ to tell me somethin’ there for a second.”
fussy.org
jumpingelaine@yahoo.com
“fussy, schmussy”
or…
“Does that say what I think it says?”
“No, Joe. That’s an F.”
“Oh, I thought the wife was tryin’ to tell ya somethin’ there for a second.”
fussy.org
“Fussy.org: What dutch lawyers read on their off time.”
“Hank, I’ve been meaning to ask you: Do you have a personal spiritual relationship with Fussy.org?”
(Perhaps only people who’ve actually SEEN Heavens Gates and Hell’s Flames will truly understand my comedic genius with this one.)
off-topic: Sac! Good to see you …
-a reader of your late great blog
Take a break at Fussy.org
What you see is not what you get
Pastrami on rye and reading Fussy.org……now there’s a lunch!
Forget it, Bert. I’m not swapping my fussy.org trading cards for your bologna sandwich!
Fussy.org: Leave the ladies at home
(emoheni@gmail.com)
Damn it! She wrapped my lunch in fussy.org!
or
She doesn’t mind if I’m late. She’ll be reading fussy.org anyway.
or
That’s corned beef three times this week!
Geez Louise, Jim, you’re fussy.org, aren’t you?
or
I don’t know, Steve. All she wants to talk about is fussy.org.
Whew, look at these pictures of when I was young and handsome! Now that I have ED, I spend my days at Fussy.org. That brings back memories…
I beam, You beam, We all beam for fussy.org!
**************
I’d rather read fussy.org offline than lay pipe.
**************
I whistle whilst fussy.org works.
*************
She’s like Yeats … only different.
fussy.org
****************
Man, I’d give anything to be on fussy.org’s chest.
My valid email address didn’t show up in my comment ID…so here it is: thecasualperfectionist[at]gmail[dot]com.
Sorry ’bout that!
Oh, and everyone’s comments are crackin’ me up!
fussy.org makes my hat hard.
**************
We use nails. Fussy.org uses words.
**************
create something
fussy.org
“You know, Ted, I was over at Fussy.org and well…it got a whole lot a’stirrin’ goin’ on in my pants. And, well…you sure gotta pretty mouth there, boy.”
fussy.org It’s not just for mommy’s anymore
“Skip…you gittin’ all fussy.org on me? Well, shucks.”
Is that the shopping list?
No, it’s Fussy’s diary!
“That wife a yours try poisoning you again? Tell her to lighten up and go read fussy.org.”
How about my fussy.org for that big hunk of beef on your face?
You go on and keep your fussy.org. Lipitor is right for me.
I’ll read fussy when you give up that kidney.
Gee, Frank. Your fussy smells great!
You see this here hat? They ain’t give me no hat for piddlin’ away on fussy, no sir.
Not as good as corned hash? I think you underestimate my fussy.
She thinks we’re reading fussy.
My old lady ain’t Fussy.
She just feeds me baloney.
Get a load of the blogs on that one! fussy.org
How about a nice hot cup of fussy.org?
Well, that’s all I’ve got.
c 3 streeter AT geeeeeeeeee, mail dot com : )
Hey Hank, Bob and I are gonna go cruising around tonight lookin’ for some ladies–you wanna come?
Naw Jim, I’m gonna go home, have a few beers, read fussy.org and beat the monkey if you know what I mean.
that’s MR. fussy pants, thank you very much.
Ham on rye and fussy.org: the perfect lunch break
Careful, those Fussy.org burritos give you gas.
I’ve done Fussy.org. How about you?
Remember when we had to read Fussy.org on Dial up? Those were the days!
Is your Fussy.org still hot?
My lunch pail’s chock full o’ Fussy!
-
Mine comes with a side o’ Fussy.org.
-
Everything tastes better with a side o’ Fussy!
-
Everything tastes better with a fresh slice o’ Fussy!
-
I coulda had a Fussy!
Hilarious. I love it.
“If you let your eyes go just so, you can almost see her fussy.”
-fussy.org: making lunch time fun
sarammoe at (not) yeehaw but the other one.com
I swear that guy on the left looks like Ronald Reagan so something along the lines of:
“Reaganomics ain’t dead at fussy.org”
Or
“’You can tell a lot about a fellow’s character by the way he eats jelly beans.’ –Ronald Reagan
You can tell a lot about an author by how she poses Yoga Beans –Fussy.org”
Personally, I like “Chock full of fussy” from barbaraca
“Just discovered fussy.org, eh? Oh, I envy you.”
“Eden? Oh yeah, she’s got a room at the fantasy motel.”
fussy.org
“Yeah, I know! What is with the hair?”
fussy.org
“I told you she was funny!”
fussy.org
tvaltharp AT yahoo DOT com
“…don’t you have any control of her no more?”
“Nah. You just wait until yours discovers fussy.org. It’s all over then…”
sarahvehige AT hotmail DOT com
“Did your wife put another Fussy post in your lunch?”
“Yup”
“I can see why you love her so. That and she has such great cans.”
DO YOU WANT SOME HOT UNDERAGE FUSSY.org?
joe at http://www.joeprose.typepad.com can be reached at jromano01@yahoo.com
Thx
“Jackson, Uncle Stinky has some Fussy on his shoe.”
(poster who sucks at remembering her google/blogger acct can be reached at laurel825 at yahoo dot com, thank you.)
Sorry…daysgoby lives at jessalogic@yahoo.com
Beer, meat, and Fussy.org.
“It’s Fussy.org or nothing at all.”
——–
“Everything tastes better with Fussy.”
——–
“Fussy.org is her best revenge.”
——–
“I’m on Fussy.org.”
No muss, no Fussy.org
“Give Fussy.org a try.”
——–
“Relax with Fussy.org.”
——–
“I carry Fussy.org everywhere.”
——–
“Flashbacks at Fussy.org.”
“Picky people choose Fussy.org.”
——–
“Fastidious people follow Fussy.org.”
Holy cow! My gal’s leaving me for fussy.org!
“I love Fussy.org”
“Faggot”
Sit down. Relax. Have a nice cup of fussy.org.
Hey Clarence, care for a hot cup of fussy.org?
One lump or two with your fussy.org.
Coolsville! In the future we’ll work less and surf everyday!
http://www.fussy.org
fussy.org: nowhere near as gay as this picture
“Oh BOY! Sodium chloride laden meat by-products on enriched white bread! What did you get Joe?”
“Fussy.org. Again.”
Joe again – jromano01@yahoo.com
“Jesus Christ, Joe! What’s that smell??”
“Looks like this Fussy has gone bad.”
Joe – jromano01@yahoo.com
What do you say you and I get out of here and go get a little fussy.org?
shearatledge@yahoo.com
“You look WAY happier than a straight man should reading that, you know.”
http://www.fussy.org
If it’s pile of balonie you’re looking for Pete you otta try
http://www.fussy.org
…and she makes a killer mojito to boot!
http://www.fussy.org
walktrot@comcast.net
Fix it yourself.
What the wife said when I got fussy about the lunch she packed.
This says that in the future, WOMEN will have their own blogs!
http://www.fussy.org
fussy.org, it’s what’s for lunch.
Read it and see what what all the fussy is about.
fussy.org
“Unlike this coffee, Fussy.org doesn’t suck!”
or
“I thought it was a porn site, too, but it turns out I was typing it wrong.” – Fussy.org
or
“Fussy.org – it beats a kick in the balls any day!”
or
“Not that I’m complaining, Jim, but since the wife started reading Fussy.org, I can’t get my legs back together.”
I wish I could quit you. fussy.org
stcsmh@yahoo.com
Are you reading fussy.org or are you just happy to see me?
monarchiam@yahoo.com
“Reading Fussy.org made me better in bed.”
“What you do is…log on to h-t-t-p- colon – backslash, backslash double-ya, double-ya, double-ya…fussy.org”
“When I call up the Internet, I go directly to fussy.org”
-New Jan Brady
http://www.newjanbrady.blogspot.com
newjanb@hotmail.com
Fussy.org: Strong enough for a Man, but made by a woman.
Hey Bill, you wanna go fishin’ this weekend?
Naw, I’m planning on staying home and reading Fussy.org
Fussy, huh? Guess I’m old-fashioned- I usually pick up guys at the hardware store!
What’s the dot ORG stand for anyway? fussy.org
F-U-SS-Y. You ain’t got no alibi. You Fussy, yeah, yeah, you Fussy.
Fussy.org
Bob, what’s on your shoe?
Oh, that. I stepped in some fussy.org.
You should see what she carries in her toolbox. fussy.org
italics on her (don’t know html)
Get a leg up on lunch-time banter. Read fussy.org
Great morsels for lunch-time banter. Fussy.org
Fussy was no longer working for the man.
Good the the last fussy.
fussy.org
Hey Hank, you still messin’ around readin’ that fussy.org?
I keep telling you Tommy… that chick is the bee’s knees!
jastereo@yahoo dot com
Fussy.org: The opiate of the people
Working Hard.
Hardly Working.
Fussy.org
So I say to her- “Fussy! It’s a website!” And and she hits me with her purse anyway!
Hey toots! You whistling at us or at Fussy.org?
nightcry@wowway.com
Hmmm, it says here in the “Guinness Book of World Records” that Fussy.org started something called NaBloPoMo. We should check that out.
Fussy.org: Stickin’ it to the man since 19–(insert year of your birth here).
Love this idea, by the way. Good luck choosing!
sillychik_pa@yahoo.com
I’ll trade you my double-decaf macchiato for your fussy(.org)
“Hell, Skip, if we had a blog like Fussy.org, we could bag these real jobs and sit at home all day, cruising the internet for babes and laughing at pictures of Britney Spears’ naughty bits.”
Fussy.org — live the dream
I’m not Fussy.
or We’re not Fussy
on a side note, reading the word fussy over and over is kinda making me giggle.
Fussy at work
Fussy at work
Fussy.org
Don’t be so fussy Bob, just eat it!
http://www.fussy.org
kathrin.stuart@btinternet.com
If only I could send my Union dues to Fussy.org
There is no “I in “Fussy.org” but there is an “F.U.”
I’d rather be at Fussy.org
Manual labor was not what I thought it was. Fussy.org
Sure the job sucks, but I get to read Fussy.org all day.
Hell no it’s not decaf, it’s Fussy.org
[Thanks for the opportunity to flex our brain muscles Eden!]
Sassyserendipity76 at yahoo dot com
You know, Hank, that Rosie the Riveter is one hot dame, especially because she is so fussy.org
Finn
familyreeds {at} yahoo {dot} com
What we got here is a big ole’ blog of Fussy.
Read Fussy in the morning, Fussy in the evening, Fussy when the sun goes down.
whatcha got there bob, some porn?
no, even better: fussy.org
“Hey Joe! You hear Mrs. K. paid nine bucks for this image?”
“Nine bucks — for this?? Ha, women! I guess that’s why it’s called fussy.org and not genius.org!”
Since my wife has been reading Fussy, I never know WHAT I’ll find in my lunchbox!
Eat Fussy.
I spend all my money on booze and fussy.
“My wife must be confused, I said
[Fussyingless]“
American by birth, Fussy by choice.
I’m a shameless Fussy[.org]!
================
A wit with dunces, and a dunce with wits.
Come see fussy.org she’ll show you her blog
=============
I have great faith in fools -Man 1
Fussy.org would call it self-confidence! – Man 2
===============
Really to sin you have to be serious about it – Man 1
I KNOW I read fussy.org – Man 2
================
Say friend “Truth is beauty” -man 1
Fussy.org has neither – man 2
========
You know, truth is stranger than fiction – Man 1
You’ve never read fussy.org – man2
============
Fussy.org doing the work of 3 men!
Moe, Larry and Curly.
===============
I really like a juicy fart, but the old lady gets so fussy when she has to clean the streaks out. I can’t imagine why.
oferf – ! I am anonymous
“Damn Joe – I can’t read fussy.org on this Palm unit, my wife’s button is easier to find on her hardware!”
“Wife caught me on fussy.org AGAIN. Can I sleep at your place tonight?”
“Joe, have you been reading fussy.org again, or are you just happy to see me?”
“Yeah, that Betty Grable’s a hottie. But Mrs. Kennedy, at fussy.org? Now there’s a MILTF!”
let’s get fussy.org
Fussy.org: Serving up revenge since 2001
Get your Fussy.org on
Fussy.org: All the cool cats are reading it
Forget Pynchon, I read Fussy.org
jen at explosive dot net
I had to post one more:
Fussy.org, it sure packs a wallop!
Yes, dorky but they said wallop back in the day didn’t they?
I realized my Pynchon entry may be lost on some folks so feel free to insert a different author at will. Also the variation of:
Fussy.org: Serving up piping hot revenge since 2001
Fussy.org. It will change your life…or at least your lunch break.
(julisa dot marie at gmail dot com)
“Hey there, whatcha lookin’ at?”
“Pictures.”
“Pictures?”
“Yes. Pictures of my wife. And her great, big …FUSSY.”