Before and After I Washed the Red Crayon

On February 15, 2008 by Eden M. Kennedy

Before and After I Washed the Red Crayon

I’d just like to thank Wisk, Tide, OxyClean, Carbona, Sears, Kenmore, and our hot water heater for saving several hundred dollars worth of clothing from being chucked into the Dumpster out back.

(Original stupidity here.)



18 Responses to “Before and After I Washed the Red Crayon”

  • Impressively not fucked up!

  • wow! I can’t believe how well that worked out. How many washes did it take?

  • That’s amazing. I’m so laundry challenged I have yet to get out a single stain. In twenty plus years of laundry, no luck on a SINGLE STAIN. I bow to your mastery of laundry products. I hate having to throw away esspensive clothes.

  • I want the recipe you used, for future reference. I know this is going to happen to me someday!

    (I already accidentally put a red Sharpie into the dryer with all our bedding once. That mistake wasn’t fixable, it seems.)

  • for real. that’s a testament to stain-removing technology.

  • That is a miracle detergent cocktail, to be sure! Very impressive against the red wax from hell!
    House of Jules

  • I can’t believe that came out even after going through the dryer. Most impressive.

  • When mine happens a fifth time, and I’m sure it will, I’ll ship mine off to you. I never got any out. Never.

  • Yeah yeah yeah you’re a laundry genius.


    Ummmm, I may be confusing you with Dooce. Probably NO ONE knows this but she has two dogs also.

  • dude, you just rock.

    now, can you do my laundry?? :-)

  • it worked! thank you Carbona! is that what finally did the trick?

  • Awesome results! Demolition of the melted red crayon!

  • You have to get a little bottle of Carbona for Crayon and Ink Stains, it’s this kind of oily stuff, and you put it on each individual crayon stain and mush it in with your fingernail. Then you dump all the clothes in the washer, put in 3 or 4 cups of Wisk 2X and 3 cups of Oxyclean. Then let the washer fill up with hot water but leave the lid up so the clothes can soak. Accidentally forget you have a birthday party to go to and flee the scene, leaving the lid up overnight! Scream when you realize what you’ve done! Then close the lid and let the wash cycle finish. Then drop dead when you open the washer and find a pile of perfectly clean, wet clothes. The end.

  • Finally we can say “better living through chemicals” without that ironic stinging sensation.

  • you need to call them and see if they will make a commercial out of you!

  • Great, now I feel bad I never tried to recover my husband’s blue crayon clothes. My stain-removing method is to just keep washing them, which is why both my husbands have been in charge of the laundry.
    I still think it’s funny that your son was most upset over the crayon, not the clothes.

  • You realize of course, that in SoHo, people are willing to pay more than we make in a week for a pair of old jeans that have been expressly and randomly screwed up with crayon, Sharpie, and (WTRF?) actual acid?

    I think, E, m’dear, that you and Jackson need to go into business producing and selling the west coast crayons-n-dryers equivalent of Jackson Pollack. You’ve already put Santa Barbara on the blogger fashion map – it’s time to submit to the calling of your unintended marketing genius and claim your crown!

  • Impressive and sooo life affirming.