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5
Mar
Jackson’s reactions to various chapters of bedtime reading from The Daring Book for Girls, which I bought him for Christmas because he specifically asked Santa for it:
1. Rules of the Game: Basketball — (interrupting me halfway through a lengthy explanation of how to dribble, pass, and shoot) “This is okay but isn’t there a karate chapter?”
2. Rules of the Game: Netball — “Netball? That’s dumb.”
3. Palm Reading — “No.” I show him an illustration of a hand and the names given the different lines on the palm. He looks at his own palm. Him: “Is this really real?” Me: “Uh, I don’t know. Probably not.” Him: “Dumb.”
4. The History of Writing, and Writing in Cursive Italics — Him: “That’s not how we’re learning to write at school.” Me: “That’s cursive italics, which is more like printing than cursive. In school you are learning real cursive.” Him: “I have good handwriting.” Me: “I hate to say it, but yours may be better than Daddy’s.” Him: “Really?” Me: “Grandpa Adam used to make Daddy sit and practice his handwriting for hours and it never did any good.” Him: “Does that say tag?”
5. Fourteen Games of Tag — (with rapt attention to the rules of each) —
a. Blob Tag/Chinese Dragon Tag
b. Freeze Tag
c. Tornado Tag
d. TV Tag
e. Shadow Tag
f. Time Warp Tag
g. Line Tag
h. Zombie Tag
i. Electric Tag
j. Battle Tag
k. Inverted Tag
l. Infection Tag
m. Hot Lava Monster Tag
n. Hide and Seek Tag
Princesses Today — “No, thank you.”
How to Whistle with Two Fingers — (Good instructions for a solid whistle, with practice, but we have to move on when Peewee starts freaking out and barking uncontrollably at the sounds we’re making.)
How to Tie a Sari — “Are you kidding?”
How to Care for Your Softball Glove — “*sigh*”
Putting Your Hair Up With a Pencil — Him: “How do you do that?” We follow the illustrations closely. Him: “If you had long hair we could do that.” Me: “I’m growing it out.” Him: “Good because right now it looks like you’re wearing a space helmet.”
Cartwheels and Back Walk-Overs — “Keep going.”
Weather — (long-suffering expression)
Lemon-Powered Clock — My god, who wouldn’t want to know how to make a lemon-powered clock?! Amazing.
The Periodic Table of the Elements — Only the best thing since the lemon-powered clock. Better than children’s Ambien, as well. Nighty-night.
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20 Responses to “Girl Stuff”
Jackson is funnier, smarter, and more insightful than most people I know. For real.
We have both books and I use the Dangerous one more frequently. They are both awesome, but netball? Really?
“Good because right now it looks like you’re wearing a space helmet.” Bwahahahahaha!!!
Just in case you were developing self-esteem. They really don’t sugar-coat things, do they?
I was thinking my childhood was a pale impostor when I realized I’d never even heard of Zombie Tag, but then I got to Hot Lava Monster Tag and I was all, okay, I am Myles Cowperthwaite.
P.S. If you’re ever in need of yet another outlet, “Jackson’s Reactions” would make a fine blog on its own, particularly the eloquent “*sigh*”s. Excellent fun all around.
I’d read Jackson’s Reactions. And I must get that book.
I noticed for the first time recently that the first half of my father’s lifeline on his palm is missing. Funnily enough the first half of his lfe was utterly crap and the second half absolutely amazing.
People have often told me I seem like the kind of person who can whistle with two fingers. I can’t. I must learn.
We found a book on mouth sounds on the free bench in our building and tried a few out, including the two-fingered whistle. Unfortunately, nothing came out of our mouths but much excess spittle. Best of luck to you and Jackson.
And netball looks silly. Though pretty much any game would look silly if you had never seen it before. Like, say, TV Tag.
I’m feeling a little bit like Jackson. Does this mean the girls book is less interesting than the boys? Except for the clock, which I fully intend on researching.
If anything, Jackson finds the girls’ book MORE interesting, it’s always the one we end up looking at, I’m not sure why. Maybe he thinks he will learn all the GIRL SECRETS.
That would explain why I read all these mommyblogs.
Now I’m laughing at Bill B.!
HAHAHA! What a little asshole! I couldn’t love him any more than I do right now. Well done, mama. He gets better every day.
*runs off to google “how to whistle with two fingers”*
Does shadow tag require you to tag someone’s shadow? I can’t imagine there would be any disagreements in this game AT ALL.
Has he read the Daring Book for Boys? It was really interesting.
My dad pointed out certain things in the book that HIS father taught him as a child.
Seth loved learning about my father’s childhood while reading the book.
Jackson sounds like such a little pill! Remindes me a lot of my lil pain with all the heavy *sighs*.
Had he already read the Dangerous Book for Boys? If he hasn’t, I’ll tell you it’s only slightly better. But at least it has fewer princess stories.
Man, this entry has made me cross my fingers just a little harder and praypraypray that when I get pregnant I have a boy.
My daughter made the lemon clock for a science project. So did about a third of all the other girls in fifth grade.
i’m thinking blockbuster is a better than netflix, but great idea to share it as a blog: will do this myself at listinglunatic.blogspot.com later today…
The boy book is way better, apparently.
For Christmas, we bought both books for our friends’ kids (boy 13, girl 10) and then they got them from their aunt and uncle 3 days before the holiday. So they got gift certificates and we (boy 31, girl 31) got the books !
They are pretty cool.
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