Poor little ‘Wee! They shaved his legs and took away his balls.
It was supposed to happen two weeks ago but the vet called in sick that day so we had to reschedule the appointment. Once the drugs wore off Peewee was literally leaping into the air. We had to stop him because it’s ugly if those stitches pop. Jack used to work for a vet and he always talks about how dogs would go through major operations, an animal could lose an entire leg and the next morning it’d be hopping up and down in its kennel going, “Can we go for a walk now? Canwegoforawalk?!”
Some people seem to be confused by the fact that we are taking away the puppy-making capabilities of both our dogs. Isn’t it enough if you just do one? they ask. It would be if I had a magic crystal ball that assured me that I’ll never get hit by a bus or lost at sea or crushed by rubble in an earthquake or go into foreclosure and have to move into an apartment that doesn’t take dogs, or that no one will ever steal my friendly dogs out of my car in the grocery store parking lot, that Cookie will never end up stray and bloated with progeny or Peewee part of an ignorant backyard breeder’s puppy mill. If you can be absolutely sure that your dog will forever and ever amen be by your side and never dishonor the family name by having puppies out of wedlock and those puppies won’t end up in the wrong home, badly trained and uncontrollable and eventually, tragically euthanized, then by all means, don’t bother, save your money and let nature take its crazy course. Or you know what you should really do if you’re committed to keeping your dog intact because you just can’t stop anthropomorphizing the manliness of his testicles and spending your afternoons enviously watching him lick his balls? Invent some doggie birth control! Little dog condoms and adorable little canine IUDs.
Seriously, though, get a grip. Spay and neuter. Many animal shelters have free or discounted programs for the financially broke. In communities where spaying and neutering is mandatory, euthenasia has gone down 75%.
Apparently I’m sort of angry about this.
Cookie, you’re next.