More First World Problems
We bit the bullet and went to Costco last week and you know what? When you're throwing out half the food you bought there three days later because the fruit is moldy and the cheesecake tastes worse than sugared cotton balls, what's the point of paying a $100 membership fee for access to a bunch of rotten food? Certainly a person can buy only so much discount lawn furniture.
Hauling $25 worth of cheesecake to the garbage today, though, allowed me to reflect on the mindset of deprivation with which I was raised. My father would have made me keep the cheesecake no matter how many of my expectations it failed to meet, he would have clogged his heart with a fresh slice every day until it was gone. I once accidentally burnt a batch of cookies and he stopped me from scraping them into the garbage, saying, "That's good food you're throwing away!" -- black oatmeal cookies -- BLACK -- and to prove his point he stood over the sink and ate every last one. And probably enjoyed them. Food in our house was good only if it was cheap and sweet, not if it actually satisfied any nutritional needs your body might have.
Internet-trolling Dumpster divers, I welcome you to my discarded cheesecake. My conscience tells me I should maybe at least have composted it but there's no way to do that where I live, the condo association having a strict policy against leaving boxes of rotting food in the bushes. And what with us living so far afield, the nearest population of street scavengers is up in Santa Barbara where the police actively discourage the distribution of anything that would even temporarily clog a sidewalk with vagrants, runaway skater kids, or migrant workers.
What a weird world we live in.
Hauling $25 worth of cheesecake to the garbage today, though, allowed me to reflect on the mindset of deprivation with which I was raised. My father would have made me keep the cheesecake no matter how many of my expectations it failed to meet, he would have clogged his heart with a fresh slice every day until it was gone. I once accidentally burnt a batch of cookies and he stopped me from scraping them into the garbage, saying, "That's good food you're throwing away!" -- black oatmeal cookies -- BLACK -- and to prove his point he stood over the sink and ate every last one. And probably enjoyed them. Food in our house was good only if it was cheap and sweet, not if it actually satisfied any nutritional needs your body might have.
Internet-trolling Dumpster divers, I welcome you to my discarded cheesecake. My conscience tells me I should maybe at least have composted it but there's no way to do that where I live, the condo association having a strict policy against leaving boxes of rotting food in the bushes. And what with us living so far afield, the nearest population of street scavengers is up in Santa Barbara where the police actively discourage the distribution of anything that would even temporarily clog a sidewalk with vagrants, runaway skater kids, or migrant workers.
What a weird world we live in.
28 Comments:
What you need is to alert the local FREE-GANS to all that food in your garbage bin. You know they'd take that stuff home and enjoy it!
Jules
House of Jules
There's something about Costco; every time I bought a bag of limes or lemons there, the fruit was moldy and rotten within a matter of two or three days. I gave up. I now buy my citrus in small, easily manageable amounts.
Maybe it works for families with five kids and a grandma? I don't know, it doesn't work for us, either. For me it's all about dog food, cleaning supplies and toilet paper.
Costco does have a stellar return policy on everything except electronics. If your food spoils too quickly, return it and get your money back.
Do you have Sam's Club out there? I will vouch for their cheesecake. It's pure goodness.
My husband grew up with 10 brothers and sisters, so you damn well know he doesn't throw food away. Gray bacon? He'll eat it.
Yah, I've never even TRIED to do fruit there. For us, that could only end in tears. But I'm ALL about their return policy. Totally "no questions asked."
I worry I'm a little like your dad with the not wasting food thing. It's sad really and I'm slowly trying to fix myself.
Actually, it's good you didn't compost the cheesecake -- compost doesn't like animal fats. Of course, it's entirely likely your Costco cheesecake was composed entirely of man-made products. I don't know the composting rules for partially hydrogenated oils....
My Dad is like that too. I have many happy memories of being forced to eat bananas that were actually black. Not speckled, BLACK. Inside and out.
Dad gets it from his mother. When she finally, reluctantly agreed that some food in her fridge was no longer fit for human consumption, she fed it to my aunt's Labradors instead. They got sick.
The upside is that I now have a stomach of steel. When I travelled through Thailand and Borneo, I went against all the rules. I ate food from street vendors, accepted drinks with ice in them, brushed my teeth with water from the tap. No worries at all!
Never tried their cheesecake but as to their apple, caramel apple, strawberry and rhubarb pie, OH MY.
I always do their black seedless grapes with no spoilage and their little bags of cut up apple slices are a godsend and last a long time. A very long time since at one point I was hoping they'd spoil since I live alone.
I suspect that cheesecake was full of weird fats and high fructose corn syrup... you'd be hard pressed to compost it. Buy some audio books and wine on deep discount with your memebership, visit the local farmers market, and don't feel guilty.
My Mum and Dad aren't food chuckers either. I remember a January email from my Mum where she described my Dad 'manfully working his way through the leftover Christmas cake'.
was it cheesecake factory cheesecake? i notice they pimp that a lot at ze costco.
Yeah, I tried buying food at Costco, and realized it was a pretty horrible mistake. Although I do get canned tomatoes there. See you at the Farmer's Market, nu? And only half as far to drive ;)
One must find the limit of the "I only buy (blank) at CostCo" and decide if it is truly worth it.
Me? I only buy almond butter, toilet paper, organic raisins and sometimes the sliced cheese.
I decided to let my membership lapse this year. I always ended up with masses of stuff I didn't really want to begin with.
My best Christmas present this year was a book of "Recipes The Costco Way" that my dad got for free. It's all stuff you could make by buying Costco food items.
Want a churro sundae? Get some churros, some spray whip cream (in the cooler) and a tub of sprinkles.
Want a chocolate strawberry cheesecake? Buy one cheesecake, some strawberries, and some chocolate. Dip strawberries. Place on cheesecake.
There's a fantastic recipe for a sundae in the middle of one of those giant chocolate muffins, too.
So, I guess the money you save on the food you can put towards liposuction.
I love Costco, and I realy miss it living in Germany. Here, my rice comes in small (1 serving) bags. But buying cheesecake at Costco is just silly. Paying for Cheesecake factory cheesecake is the silly part. Buy cream cheese, sugar, etc at Costco and make it: for 1/5 the cost of buying the ingredients elsewhere. And their fresh bread is fabulous and one can freeze it and reheat. As for fruit- we loved it. I found Sam's club fruit was moldy within days (and I returned it) but Costco had great strwaberries, grapes, etc. And definitely, if you have a problem--- return things! They are great. But there are things I always bought at a regular store: avocadoes, lettuce, things we don't eat quickly enough unless we were having a party.
Sorry about the cheesecake....
um, but wondering if Peewee has survived his neutering?
My family was not too terribly frugal but I do remember a beach vacation with friends. There were 3 burnt hotdogs which we prissy girls wouldn't touch. They were basically incinerated on the gas grill.
They came out the next day at dinner and nothing else. So we had to eat them or go without. I'm pretty sure I starved that day rather than eat them.
No Costco here, but I'm assuming it's like a Sam's Club. I don't shop there either. I don't have room in my house to shop in bulk, you know?
Back when we lived in that "deluxe apartment in the skyyyyyy," we couldn't recycle or anything. It sucked. So now we have our own little house in the 'hood.
oh man, Costco has great toilet paper.
My grandfather and your father could have been bffs. We called him the garbage disposal. Stale donuts crunch, you know.
eden
sam's club is only 35 per year if that helps? but then again, i agree with the lawn furniture concept, thing of how many etheopians we can save by just sitting in a hand tied macramae hammock instead of chinese child made aluminum and plastic chairs....
it is a weird world, too bad we can't find cheesecake or fruit on http://www.woot.com (they had an awesome blender yesterday warehouse junkies would envy for $20)
me
"Must have 20 boxes of macaroni and cheese" At least those are the words that strangely twirl through my brain at Cosco. I wonder if there are subliminal messages being transported through the air ducts.
"God's honest truth," I bought toothpicks at BJ's Wholesale Club (same thing) 17 years ago and I still have one box left. I may have to break down and buy more soon. But that was SOME BARGAIN!
We let out Sam's Club membership lapse like 8 years ago. 1. Because it's owned by Sam Walton. 2. Because of the phenomenon you mention in paragraph A.
Now I like to pretend I am European with 5 trips to the grocery store per week. While I am still American and wasting all that gas.
I love Costco but I'm glad you said the cheesecake is bad...I was thinking of buying some to take home for Mother's Day.
Just to be clear about the cheesecake, it was Cheesecake Factory brand and it was just too fluffy, Jack and I both like our cheesecake to be like a brick. Carnegie Deli is our ideal and they ship, but it's expensive.
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