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8
May
I don’t know if anyone’s really noticed but I’ve had a terrible time finding the nerve to post much lately. I’ve been trying to figure it out — is it burnout? Is this the end of Rico? — and I honestly think it boils down to some sudden insecurity that hit me while reading about the Democratic campaign. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I felt like it’s impossible for anyone, anywhere to ever be Right, capital R, Platonic ideal, absolutely correct about anything. I just started feeling wrong, whatever I said, spoiled and entitled and stupid and boring and white and incapable of understanding anything outside of my suffocating sub-suburban bubble.
Whee!
Jack and I had a giant fight the other night, a real “Fuck you!” “Fuck me? NO, FUCK YOU!” extravaganza. It certainly made Jackson stand up a little straighter. He was in the shower for the worst of it, actually, and when it was over and I was cuddled up in bed reading a book with him, Jack walked in — you could tell he still had his back up but was wholly reasonable once again — and said, “Jackson, do you know why I yelled at Mommy like that? Because I love her.” I laughed, and later Jackson and I were able to have a good talk about how you can fight with someone and still be friends.
“But why didn’t you cry?” he asked me. This was an astonishing echo from my past, as my Grandmother Marriott asked my mom the exact same thing. Generations of Marriott men have been yellers, evidently — my grandma married one and so did my mom – and my grandmother always used to burst into tears to make it stop. But my mom never did, she just silently sat there and waited for my dad to yell himself out so she could go on with her business until he cooled down and apologized.
“I grew up with a dad who yelled a lot,” I told Jackson. “When I was little, I’d hide in the closet. It took me a long time but it doesn’t scare me anymore. Plus, I love Daddy and I know Daddy loves me. I know he wouldn’t hit me, or leave, or make me leave, so it was okay to see him get angry and to yell back at him.”
I found this clip on YouTube yesterday, it’s Craig Ferguson, whose show I’ve never watched, talking about why he can no longer make fun of Britney Spears. It’s about twelve minutes long so I forgive you if you don’t have the time to invest in it, but if you do it’s absolutely worth it, he’s amazing and I’m a fan forever now because of this.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bbaRyDLMvA]
- Published by Eden M. Kennedy in: Main
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56 Responses to “Yell It Out, Bitches”
The Ferguson clip is outstanding, thanks.
You’ll enjoy this too….
He was the featured entertainer at the Washington Correspondents Dinner
http://icanhaz.com/craigferg
I totally understand the love-hate-disinterest-love-hate-uncertainty of posting (or not to posting), but I for one am always happy when you do (post)!
Yer fan,
Evany
I have never watched his show either, but I enjoyed that clip. It was very heartfelt.
Interesting that some people in the audience kept laughing through some of the parts when he was trying to be serious.
Sometimes yelling can be relieving.
Bryan and I rarely yell – he is absolutely not a yeller and it is pretty toxic (get it?? get it??) for me to do so. But sometimes it’s just the way it is.
And Craig is great. He has some really good movies he has done (written, starred, and/or directed) before this show too – most notably “Saving Grace” with the equally awesome Brenda Blethyn.
I love him. I want him to spoon me all night. hee hee ‘spoon’ (craig ferguson, not jack, not that there’s anything wrong with jack, but well, he’s yours…did I mention i’m a lesbian? because I am. Is this not the longest paragraph in parentheses? Where was I?)
Should I hit publish? Eh, why not.
What a great clip. I am so glad he said that. I have never seen him before but notonly is he funny, he is decent.
i loved him before but i love him even more now.
Wow, that was fantastic. I need to watch the clip again.
And I often think that at least when there is yelling, you can hear what the other person thinks. If that makes sense.
Great video! It makes me wish I could stay up late enough to watch him regularly.
good stuff, all of it. thanks.
I looooove Craig, and it seems that this bit has gotten him attention from lots of people who are not already fans. And I think that’s great. He deserves it. Best guy on late night TV!
I love Craig. He has been my TV husband for a long time and this clip still knocks my socks off. He’s truly funny, truly smart and truly kind, I think.
This clip is going to force me to stay up and watch him now.
So THANKS A LOT.
Just, kidding. Thanks. It was fun.
Oh. That clip was great. I’m a fan now, too. Plus, Scottish accent.
I hit a point of political exhaustion, a frustration that no one is right. Or Right. I still don’t know who to vote for, but as far as MY boring, white, suburban bubble, I no longer feel like I have to be right for everyone else or even understand everyone else. It can’t be done. It’s OK just to be right for me and try not to hurt anyone.
I think this is why my Pops always told me not to discuss religion or politics with anyone but family. And even family is pushing it.
I adore Craig and this only made me love him more. He is an amazing man.
Wow, that clip was amazing. I never really watch him (as I’m in the UK…where you’d think we would get his show…) but he is absolutely right. Thank you for that.
Maybe “a venti sherry” would help?
Oh, the laughing, it hurts.
Glad that killer accent was never silenced.
i am so happy you shared this.
Blogger block comes for us all.
You don’t have to be right. You don’t have to be universal. You just have to be you.
That’s why I read your blog.
Yes it’s important that children learn that arguing with your mate doesn’t mean the end of it. I don’t think children should hear cursing but that’s just me. I also don’t ever curse at or am the reciever of it. I mean I’ll say that’s fucking nonesense but I’ll never say fuck you, dickwad. I don’t know I think crosses the line to not so loving.
Sorry for the yelling. It’s like getting blasted in the face with A temporary hate hurricane. My first husband was a “non talker” and could go for three months without speaking just to prove how MAD he was. I WISHED he was a yeller.
Three months?! No wonder he’s your former husband.
It actually didn’t feel like hate at all, just anger.
As for the profanity, I think it’s just a part of life, I teach Jackson that all words have their uses and none should be regarded as horrible, though you should maybe just use them sparingly. Even normally benign words can be poisonous in the right context. And though I don’t ever WANT to be told to fuck off, it’s a pretty succinct way to get the point across.
Actually, you probably just saved Jackson like three divorces by letting him see you and Jack yell and still love each other. Although I hide in my own closet when my husband and I yell in front of the little angel.
I think the Internets are poised for a big thunderstorm. The air, she is a cracklin’, that’s for sure.
I second Amiee’s recommendation of Saving Grace. It’s one of my favorite movies and just hilarious. Craig is great, I adore him and his yummy accent. (Did you notice how it got thicker when he was more emotional? Love!)
someone forwarded this clip to me right after it first ran. There are regrettably few opportunities these days to use the word “gallant”, but this was definitely one of them.
I was a fan of Craig’s already, but I hadn’t seen this clip. Thanks for posting it and thanks for posting, in general. I understand how difficult it can be and I appreciate you slogging through. I’m a fan of you as well.
Right there with you on the posting deal. I sit around and say, “Oh who cares what you have to say?” Maybe we’ve all hit the wall. Less posting, less commenting, more recession?
I saw Craig Ferguson, my husband, on TV when this first came out and now you know why he IS my husband.
We were talking about this the other night on a rare escape into town after dark – about being right – are we ever? We were drinking with Doug, who asserted that there is no right, there is no concrete reality, we all just develop individual coping strategies for what we find ourselves thrown into. I keep finding my mind straying back to think about that.
It’s good when you & your Significant Other can get angry and shout Fuck in one another’s company without anyone getting upset. Everyone needs that release sometimes. It’s no fun to shout and have your audience go Boo Hoo Hoo.
Two friends of mine (when they were a couple) used to have this recurring exchange. Him: “Get to fuck!” Her: “Draw me a map!”
Back again 12 minutes later. Craig Ferguson is great. It was unbelievable how long it took some of his audience to stop laughing and listen to what he was really saying. It’s a gift to be able to make anything funny, but it’s frustrating when people expect everything that falls out of your mouth to be a joke.
I am the yeller in our family; husband is the quiet one. It works well for us because he just lets me yell and then I stop because he’s not yelling back!
The Ferguson clip was excellent.
Um, yeah…everything IN this post meant something to me. So, there’s that. Thanks.
never seen ferguson before, but that was fantastic. thank you.
It’s only spoiled and stupid if you stop writing and sharing with us! Your words cast new light on the everyday. That’s what being a great writer is all about. Your bubble is shared by many. It’s a BIG bubble. And you write about it so well. We all bore ourselves from time to time … but no one can smell your boredom out here in the audience. I’m sitting in the front row! Don’t sell yourself short.
thanks for linking to that. i did watch all of it and now want to watch his show. his monologue reminded me of something stephen king said when he was asked how much he drank at the height of his alcoholism- he answered, “all of it”.
I understand all the “it’s all wrong” thing.
I know there’s a part of me – probably that part from junior high – that want’s to say – what’s true for you IS TRUTH. Your truth matters!
But then I got older, and maybe it’s all bullshit.
For the same reasons, I haven’t published since Jan – and then Heather et al went on the Today show, Kathi Lee bugged the crap out of me (hypocrite much? “doesn’t like” mommybloggers writing about their kids online, but hello Codycodycody on national television? daily?). I guess that made me post again.
(Some truth I guess I do know.)
Okay, now I watched the Fergusun thing and I feel bad I ragged on Kathi Lee again. Maybe she has a problem. (narcisim?) No, seriously maybe she has a problem and that’s why she was a hypocrite to Heather.
Your hesitancy to blog begs the deeper question (at least to me), WHY do you blog? I originally started mine as the place to put all the horrible, negative emotions from an intolerable situation (husband abandoned me and our two kids). The one place where I didn’t have to worry about putting on a brave face or holding it together. A place where I could authentically be in the moment and dump all the crap backing up on me, keeping me down, making me a hater. It’s helped. A lot.
I wouldn’t worry too much about the swearing and yelling – kids are very resilient, especially when they see you make up.
A reformed yeller myself it’s what was modeled for me by my parents, both olympic yellers. One of my all time favorite not funny then but hilarious now memories of a heated parental exchange, my father shouting, “KISS MY ASS!!!” and my mother screaming back, “MARK THE SPOT YOU’RE AN ASS ALL OVER!!” Classic.
Love the Ferg – he’s fantastic.
Thank you for that clip. I’m forever a fan now, too. My husband and I try not to yell, but I come from a long line of yellers. It’s tough. I sympathize completely. With you and with Jackson.
Thanks for shaing that clip. He’s so right, and I’m glad he opened up like that. Here’s hoping this video makes its rounds — more people need to hear it.
Sometimes posting can be exhausting.
This made my morning– thank you
I love Craig. His monologues are all unscripted too. He was nominated for an emmy for the one he made when his father died, it’s worth a google to be sure.
because it is so good I found the links:
part 1: http://youtube.com/watch?v=QJWlNPq0ftM
part 2:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=tYhVnsCbCg0
What Kyran said: GALLANT.
Thanks for sharing this.
That is just killer.
Amazing where you can find wisdom these days.
This is the first time I’m leaving a comment, and it truly is long overdue. I just wanted to say that I truly enjoy reading your blog and this post in particular has been amazing to read. I hope you don’t stop writing here any time soon.
This Craig Ferguson clip is truly important. I’m glad you found it, I intend to share with family and friends.
Write on.
As one who married into a family of recovering alcoholics, and finding them to be some of the least judgmental, kindest, and wholly understanding folks I’ve ever met, I appreciate the fact that this brave man told his story for millions to watch, pick apart, and poke at.
Because you know they did.
Inserting the self-deprecating humor made it less difficult for him, I’m sure, but he’s spot on. Admitting the big nasty is embarrassing, and scary, and some part of me thinks that his testimony was intended for one 25-year-old single mother of two, and I hope hope hope she heard it.
First time I’ve seen the guy, and I, too, am a fan forever.
I’m a yeller, and my husband is a yeller, but weirdly, we don’t yell at the same time. He always says that it’s not how you get along that matters, but how well you don’t get along.
We don’t get along pretty well.
My husband and I have been huge Ferguson fans for years now and I remember when he did that monologue very well. He is usually quite funny and all of his are unscripted and at least 5 minutes long. Lately he has gotten bad about doing the same one liners over and over, but his subjects change and are very interesting and refreshing. OH! He also became an American citizen a couple of months ago. That was a red letter day for him and he documented the whole thing.
You’re gonna have to watch him. Or tivo him! He really is funny.
I’m so glad to have had a chance to watch that. It helped solidify my discomfort with all the Britney bashing, probably since the head shaving. Like there was a moment when I stopped and said, okay, this has gone from wacky celeb to sad, troubled celeb and I don’t want to rubberneck any longer.
Thanks so much for posting it. (and hope by now all wounds are healed from the fuck you fight.)
Thanks for the post, I grew up in a house of yellers and am now one more often than I want to be with my kids. My husband didn’t grow up with yellers, they only speak outrageously loud at the dinner table. The only downside to be a parental yeller is that my girls now yell a lot and I have to try hard not to scream back. It sounds worse than it actually is…I hope!
You’re absolutely right, that was 12 minutes well spent.
Also, I liked your explanation to Jackson. Go, Eden!
I hadn’t seen that monologue of Craig’s before. Took a lot of guts to put that out there about his personal struggle and his discomfort for making fun of troubled celebrities.
Thanks for sharing that.
Plus, I could listen to his Scottish brogue all day and all night.
I love Craig Ferguson.
Check out some clips here and you will love him even more.
http://lotordinary.blogspot.com/2008/05/remember-when-i-broke-up-with-my.html
Oh my goodness, Eden you are so right! I really love him, too. I’m looking at this in the morning before I go to work and it’s put a whole new smile on my face about how to remember to surrender to my addiction and trust God TODAY.
Here’s to the folks who spend half their time in circles in church basements!
It’s a beautiful day…
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