I had a dream that Matthew Broderick was a Beluga whale that I met at a pool party. The party was at some seaside resort, and to get him out of the pool and over to the bar one of his friends just dragged him by the tail along the sidewalk. “Matthew Broderick seems really fine with being dragged along the ground like that,” I said somewhat skeptically to this so-called friend, a skinny girl with scruffy dyed-blond hair, who also appeared to be dating my high school theater teacher. “Matthew Broderick is pretty much just like you’d expect him to be,” she said to me. “He’s really funny and he’s nice to everyone.” And all the while Matthew Broderick is bumping along the ground with this sad-eyed whale expression, like, I have accepted my lot in life, to be a whale toiling without water. Exploited for my warmth and likability, which at least keeps these land creatures from abandoning me on some tragic Animal Planet set.”
So, how’s that experiment in chair-free living going? you may be asking. It’s going pretty well, thanks! I’ve been sitting on the floor a lot. This is something you can do when you have a laptop. I’ve explored many variations of the classic padmasana or lotus posture, and most of them make my legs numb. But that’s half the fun! Wobbling around the house, getting deep into those hip joints and really giving them what for! And the dogs love being able to shed directly onto me, rather than using the couch as a middle man. It’s just another sacrifice I’m willing to make for my pets, and for yoga, and for the future-me, some perhaps misguided notion about avoiding hip replacement(s) when I’m 80, if I even make it that far. If half the world lives without chairs then by god so can I! I haven’t quite worked out how to remove the seats from my car, but you can be sure I’ll post pictures when I’ve managed to upholster the whole interior in zafutons.
As promised, here is a photo of the world’s smallest snail* discovered on the sidewalk not ten feet from my door!!
*This claim has not been evaluated by the World Snail-Measuring Council and is for demonstration purposes only. Ask your doctor if Small Snails™ are right for you.
Lastly, I may have forgotten to mention that it’s time for National Blog Posting Month again and I want you all to sign up and blog your brains out in November. I’m told it’s a wonderful exercise in discipline. And if discipline isn’t it’s own reward (we’re not Puritans, after all!), there are prizes.