I am psychic

On October 29, 2008 by Eden M. Kennedy

This morning I was driving to yoga and at a certain spot on the highway my brain just shouted ACCIDENT!! I slowed down because, you know, I listen to my brain* and its weird little nudgings. When it tells me to switch shampoos, I switch shampoos. When it tells me to go to Trader Joe’s and buy two bags of kettle corn, by god that’s what I do. And when I write a part in a short story where a guy hears footsteps running up behind him, and then the next day I get a call from a friend who was unlocking his door the night before when he heard footsteps running up behind him AND THEN HE GOT MUGGED, that’s when I start to believe in string theory.

*Jack is guffawing right now. “Brain? My wife has a brain? I thought she just had an impulse-based Scrabble-response system.”

So, no, I didn’t get into an accident this morning, but when I got Jackson to school later a whole bunch of kids stumbled in late and they were all, “Wow! Did you see the ACCIDENT?! That took place in the same spot where your mom’s crazy brain shouted at her three hours ago???”

And then, not twenty minutes ago, I was taking out the recycling and thinking about someone and when I got back inside there was an e-mail waiting for me FROM THAT PERSON**.

**Remarkably, it turns out that e-mailing someone to ask them a question is also a fairly reliable way to get them to e-mail you back, whether you’re continually holding them in your mind of them or not. Thus it is that having a person pop into your mind at the exact moment they are replying to your e-mail becomes merely SERENDIPITOUS.

BUT NOW, now what I’m wondering is, if I close my eyes and hold, oh I don’t know, let’s say John Cusack — or maybe Joan Cusack — everso gently in my mind’s eye, will he/she suddenly be all, “Hmm, maybe I should do my next movie about a guy/gal who decides s/he wants to update his/her blog every day for a month but s/he doesn’t want to do it alone! So s/he drives up the coast from L.A. until s/he finds the one woman who can help him/her achieve his/her dream! And then they sync their iPods and drive around talking about how great Liz Phair Jeremy Piven Dan Ackroyd used to be.”

Yesterday I was driving Jackson back home from school and he got all serious in the back seat and said, “You know, Mom, I can see the future.” And I was all, “Oh, reeeaally? And how do you do that?” And he goes, “I see it in my dreams.” Well, we eventually worked out that he’d developed a sense of deja vu, which is kind of exciting and mysterious and mindblowing when you’re seven years old. And I was glad because not everyone gets it — to the end of his days my dad claimed that he’d never had that weird, familiar feeling of knowing exactly what’s coming next. I certainly wasn’t prepared to explain the intricacies to Jackson (though this Wikipedia article goes so far as to break it down into three distinct types), so we just talked about our mysterious brains for a little while until our conversation turned, as it always does, to Pokemon.



29 Responses to “I am psychic”

  • I still remember the first time I had deja vu, it was out on the playground when I was about 8, and it kicked in. I was weirded out, big time. From then on, I get it every now and then, sometimes so strong I’m sitting there thinking, “OK, now this will happen,” and it does. Lasts for about a minute or two.

    Hasn’t happened in awhile, thought. Probably life beat it out of me or something.

  • Aw. I remember when Dan Ackroyd was still great. Now he’s just kind of an ass.

    Seriously. I have stories.

  • I bet you do.

    JV, I’m glad to hear that life beats stuff out of you, too. We should start a group and have meetings.

  • That ‘voice’ you hear is referred to as Higher Self to people who practice/study metaphysics (like me) and also known as ESP. Most people have access to it but don’t realize it and it’s usally under-utilized. I’ve gotten to the poiint where I can ask questions and get answers, but I’ve been studying it since 1983. Always listen to it; it’s never wrong.

  • I don’t know who this is but someone sent me a link to this site where whoever this is stole a joke from me last year so I thought I’d share with you two of my favorite teaching stories and see if anyone thinks they’re funny and offensive too:

    Brooklyn Tony On Grammar

    One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word “beautiful” in the same sentence twice.

    First, she called on little Suzie, who said, “My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.”

    “Very good, Suzie,” replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.

    “My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully.”

    She said, “Excellent, Michael!”

    Then the teacher called on Brooklyn Tony.

    “Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said ‘Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!’ “

    Brooklyn Tony On Math

    Brooklyn Tony returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.

    “Why?” asks his father.

    The teacher asked ‘ How much is 2×3,’ and I said 6,’” Tony replies.

    “But that’s right!” says his father.

    “Yeah, but then she asks me ‘ How much is 3×2?’”

    “What’s the fucking difference?” asks his father.

    “That’s what I said!”

  • I ::get:: that. I’ve had several occasions of dreaming of someone, out of the blue, and learning soon after they had died OR were dying when the dream took place. The day before and earlier the day of when my 20 year was (unexpectedly, to me) arrested (he’s since gone to war, better than prison, just barely), my heart was racing, to the point that I thought “Hmmm, might be a cardiac thing happening here.” Nope, but my brain stem was on fire.

  • I still remember the first time I had deja vu, it was out on the playground when I was about 8, and it kicked in. I was weirded out, big time. From then on, I get it every now and then, sometimes so strong I’m sitting there thinking, “OK, now this will happen,” and it does. Lasts for about a minute or two.

    Hasn’t happened in awhile, thought. Probably life beat it out of me or something.


    Perhaps the accident at the start of your story was caused by someone braking suddenly for no apparent reason? :)

  • I’m not psychic, and neither is my son, I think, but I do spend a lot of time talking about Pokemon. I’m even started to remember which Pokemon involve (as my six-year-old son says) into which others, and what powers they have. I wonder what useful information got nudged out for that knowledge?

  • I used to get that deja vu feeling all the time and I realized when I read this that it stopped a while ago. I wonder why? I think I sort of miss it, maybe.

  • Now, I totally don’t believe in psychicness…you know except when I sorta do.

    I do figure that I think about a lot of people/things each day (many too many random thoughts) BUT that I only remember thinking about that person if something — like an email or phone call — happens soon after. All the other 100 things I thought that didn’t happen, they just drop out of my head, unloved and unremembered.

    But there was that one time a few months ago that I was very randomly and not really reading while running my eyes over the obituaries, and a name popped into my head and I thought I’d look for that name, knowing how silly this all was, and OMG there it was! I kid you not. Nearly fell out of my chair. Even odder? It was only in there for one day, if I hadn’t looked for it, I’d never have seen it and that would have been a bad thing over all.

    So while I don’t believe in it, it’s possible that I have it. ;-D

  • Thank you for posting the link to the Wikipedia article. Even though my scientist husband has tried to convince me otherwise, I know in my heart of hearts that I have dreamed things that eventually happened, sometimes years later. I have always been a bit more attuned to my dreams and remember them frequently. Occasionally, I would wake up and wonder where I was in my dream and who it was I was talking with because they were clearly my friends. Only years later would I experience that moment again and I would realize who it had been I was speaking with in my dream, before I had even met these people who would be my friends.

    The quote from John Lennon in the Wikipedia article perfectly summed up my experience. And it’s so nice to know I’m not alone in my feeling, even if it is a weird neurological anomaly!

  • I generally get Deja vu in my dreams. I generally have reoccuring dreams and in my dreams I recognize this and know what will happen next or what I need to do to save the world, because that’s almost always what I am doing. Well, that or going to high school naked. Speaking of, I went to Key West’s Fantasy Fest this past weekend and the first topless woman I saw was actually trying to half-ass cover her breasts and for a moment, I thought I was caught in her crazy dream.

  • When I read “I can see the future”, of course the next words in my mind were :”And it’s a place about 70 miles east of here, where it’s lighter.”.

    I think in really old Laurie Anderson lyrics. That’s what happens when you do tooo many drugs in your youth. Kids: STAY OFFA THE DRUGS!

  • Well, when you get in touch with your inner Pokemon (and Funkeys,Spectrobes & Spores,) then you're truly in touch with all that is, and all that will be.

    At least, that's what my son thinks.

    To daily blogging!

  • I get that feeling on the road sometimes, but I think it’s more statistical… it’s bound to happen. It’s amazing there aren’t more accidents in California, so many crazy people in hurry all the time. Not me though, uh-uh, I didn’t get a ticket for going 60+ in a 45, nope.

  • My Halloween decorations (very serious stuff) spoke to me two nights ago. I kept dreaming they were being rained on (in Texas where it rains/floods once a year). I was so snnoyed that I got up at 3am to see. No rain, but it was crazy windy and all my tombstones had blown down the street. I was able to save them and in the dark, thank goodness, as I looked scarier than any Halloween decoration.

  • I’ve never had those moments, though I do sometimes have deja vu.

  • Deja vu is just a glitch in the Matrix.

    I had a great moment of clarity once that told me to pick the Packers in a football pool. I hate the Packers but I won $200. I almost pop my eyeballs every time I try to squeeze my brain into doing that again.

  • I was soo happy when my son finally grew out of Pokemon. I hated that shit.

  • “JV, I’m glad to hear that life beats stuff out of you, too. We should start a group and have meetings.”

    Yeah! We can call ourselves the Beats! Oh, wait…

  • Maybe it was “The Secret” that opera talks about but I call it your gut feeling. I listened to my gut to jog on a different path in my daily jog in the park a year ago and met a nice guy there.

    One year later he proposed to me with a gorgeous diamond engagement ring from http://www.idonowidont.com and we’re getting married in a few months! If we pick up on things and listen closely, we can tune into what we want and want to avoid!

  • I was convinced my 2 year old had ESP, he always knew when Daddy was about to arrive home, even if it was at an unexpected time.
    Then one day I realized that his Daddy plays the music in his car *really loud* . My body may be 30-something, but my ears are going on 80, so I wasn’t hearing it.

  • I’m usually a lurker, but had to put in my 2 cents worth. I also have the deja vu thing going on. Happens to me all the time. Our souls are amazing things.

  • Once I had a dream that Julia Roberts left Kiefer Sutherland at the alter, and that very next day the couple announced that their wedding was off. I always sort of felt like I was to blame for that. Sorry, Kiefer!

    Oh, and I experience deja vu fairly frequently, as does my 10 y.o. daughter.

  • i remember when Dakota was in his two or three year long Pokemon stage. i can still hear ‘ picaaa-chuuuu’!!!!

  • I love Nablopomo – what can be better than 30 days of Fussy writing?

    So good.

  • Just glad to hear that I’m not the only one whose conversations with her children invariable turn to Pokemon.

  • Oh, hey, I’ve never heard anyone describing it like that, but that’s how I see it, too – like something is happening that I’ve already dreamed. Awesome!

  • Old Liz Phair music – nothing better – Fuck and Run – greatest song ever written:)