I love Gail Collins so much, she makes reading about the bank bailout fun.

“One problem with the government plan is that nobody is ever going to have any confidence in a savior called “public-private investment fund.” The term aggregator bank has been floated around; the Treasury Department should consider stealing it, since it sounds like a kind of Transformer. In a crisis, Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner could just yell “Aggregator, we need help!” And a normal-looking office building would instantly change into an enormous avenger who clumps down the street squashing the nasty little toxic assets that scurry around, making unpleasant squeaks.”

Transformers! It’s all so much clearer now.

So, I’m being called in for a second interview on the job thing. This is what I ended up wearing to the first interview:

wardrobe remix

Yeah, so I didn’t actually iron any of that. I didn’t want to appear snooty. The skirt is wool, anyway. My mom made it for me when I was in college. Black and white houndstooth never goes out of style, except when it does, but then you just wait a couple of years and, bam! You hope it still fits.

Anyway, we’re on a little impromptu visit up to San Francisco this weekend and man, did I need to get out of the house. The first hotel room we got was terrific but when Jack woke up at 5:00 a.m. to pee he said he felt like he’d walked into an episode of C.S.I. Miami:

Blood-spatter bathroom

Honestly, I could see his point. After the blood spatter expert finishes up you just hose the place down, right?

Green blood-spatter bathroom

Jack, never one to shy away from testing the front desk help, got us moved to a different room with a less hospitalized bathroom. While we waited with the other tourists in Union Square, someone got a pretzel.

Pretzel in Union Square

“Also, if you just prop up dead banks, they could turn into zombie banks. That is definitely something you want to avoid. Imagine walking down the street and there’s a zombie bank plunked on the corner, gazing emptily at the passing traffic and making strange grunting noises. Occasionally, it will snatch up some pedestrians and feed them to the toxic assets.”

And now, to Chinatown for stink bombs!