Spring Broke

Jackson had spring break last week. I covered the morning boy-watching shift, which meant that we laid around in our underwear until noon every day. Then Jack would come home and look at us in disgust and we’d get dressed and I’d go to work and I have no idea what they did while I was gone. Embroidery? Ditch digging? There was some talk of squirrel hunting but since none of us owns any squirrel hunting weaponry, no violence was done to our chipper little rodent friends.

By Friday I couldn’t take the relentless inactivity anymore so I called in well to work and Jackson and I drove down to the science museum. It takes about two hours to get from here to downtown L.A., so we left early. Early-ish. Okay, maybe 9:30 isn’t that early.

Apparently L.A. schools are on a different schedule than we are because there were approximately ten thousand school groups in varying stages of hysteria running around with us.

The first thing we did was go into the hurricane simulator, which is a glass booth with a big fan directed into it. It’s pretty much a $2 blow dryer, and you end up just standing there, attracting a small crowd while your hair gets all whipped around. If you have hair, which I don’t. (Did I mention I cut my hair? I couldn’t take that anymore, either.) Anyway, I didn’t manage to get a picture of Jackson with his hair standing on end, instead my camera took this one of him looking all angelic. Thanks, camera.

The science museum has lots of really good interactive sound and light and basic engineering exhibits, but throw a lot of amped-up kids raised on video games into rooms filled with big, chunky levers and cranks and you’ll see the light slowly fade from their eyes. Like, sure, it’s kind of cool how this prism bends color but EWW, THAT’S A FETUS! WHERE’S RAMON? CELIA, YOU TOOK MY HAIRBRUSH, EEEEE!

In a quiet hallway, however, Jackson stumbled onto this fog bowl and was able to practice his airbending.

I was feeling a little lightheaded — the aftereffects of an extra glass of pinot grigio the night before — and watching this kid ride the high-wire bicycle just about made me pass out.

I was immoderately pleased that there was a McDonald’s in the museum lobby. The food anticipation I was feeling reminds me of a story my friend Leslee told me when she was pregnant, how she got some Chinese food for lunch one day and then had to close her office door so no one would see how intensely she horked it down. Yes, manners and food ethics go straight out the window when a plain double cheeseburger with fries and a Coke (and an extra Monsters vs. Aliens toy) are at hand.

Hi, everyone, my name is Eden and it’s been six days since my last Happy Meal.

After lunch we cruised the gift shop but it was absolute pandemonium so Jackson suggested we walk over to the natural history museum.

Whose entrance is so large it defies the powers of photography.

“Blue lamps!”
“Mom, no one cares.”
“Wait, I’m going to take a picture. Those are crazy!”
“I’m going into the gem room.”

Okay, the gem room was amazing.

The side room where they display the rubies other valuables even has a bank-vault door. You’d think a kid would be impressed by a 10,000-pound door? He would not.

“Hey, baby, you know where the tar pits are?”

Yeah, unfortunately the tar pits are over on like Wilshire and La Brea, and despite the fortifying cheeseburger lunch I only had enough gas left for ten minutes in the touch-a-skeleton room in the basement and the usual argument about spending money as a form of entertainment in the gift shop.

I like to imagine this guy having the same accent as Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Awwww, babies! God, I hope I still have some M&Ms; left in my bag.

And so, after dropping $20 on a mood ring and a diamond-cut chunk of green glass, we bid adieu to science and nature.

“I can see that guy’s nuts!”

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16 Responses to Spring Broke

  1. What fun! And I got nauseous looking at the highwire bike photo meself. Ack.

  2. beyond says:

    may i just say: airbending? that’s so cool! i wanna airbend too!
    ha! in the second to last photo jackson is so tall he defies the powers of photography…

  3. Antonia says:

    The photo of Jackson in front of the snake skeleton is possibly my favourite picture of him yet.

    I’ve spent this winter comparing London to LA without actually going to LA, and an important part of that involved weighing up their respective museums against one another. You just described the LA Science Museum far better for me than its website did. Thank you.

  4. That is an awesome museum!! Very impressive. And jackson is a cute little monkey.

  5. J. says:

    Do they still have the huge crystal ball in the Gem Hall? I was always pretty impressed with it.

  6. sac says:

    Triceratops head looks STOKED about the new dinosaur hall.

  7. Momo Fali says:

    We have that same bike at our science museum…with NO net underneath.

  8. Momo-Mama says:

    Jackson gets cuter everytime I see him…

  9. J, they do still have the giant crystal ball. I saw everyone’s future in it. You all owe me $5.

  10. dgm says:

    We took our kids up to LA last summer and did those two museums in one day. I love the contrast of the overstimulating kids museum (get me outta there!) to the totally old skool natural history museum. I’m most fond of those cheesy dioramas and the feel of that natural history museum, and the fact that it’s where Night at The Museum was filmed. Plus, the gem room IS awesome.

  11. Is it wrong that sometimes I wish that science museums meant for kids would have a “no kid day” so that we can truly appreciate all the exhibits without the screaming? (or so that I can play with that thing all the kids keep butting in line to play with)

  12. DeeJay says:

    All I could think of that first picture was “Fizzy Lifting Drinks” from the Gene Wilder Chocolate factory movie!

  13. Michele says:

    Looks like you guys had a blast! Jackson’s new haircut is very cool…or do they say, Sweet!

    Michele

  14. We LOVE the science museum. And yours looks awesome. Now, if only L.A. wasn’t so darn far away!

  15. Xibee says:

    The segue of my mental wandering from ‘usual argument at the gift store’ to Jackson’s face in front of the snake case almost got me fired. I rarely burst out laughing in front of lawyers, it’s what they’d call “ill advised.”

    Thanks for that. I know you’re promoting my writing career.

  16. Liz says:

    as a kid, i never thought i would say this: museums are WAY cool.

Spring Broke

I feel like I’ve had a major personality shift in the last couple of months.

I just started to feel a lot stronger, physically and mentally. A lot of my insecurities just up and vanished, and I have no idea why.

Although if we look at some changes that have recently occurred, we might find a clue. For instance, I had some blood work done and discovered I was anemic, so I started taking iron.

Around the same time, I made the effort to construct an organized approach to getting a job, and I got one.

My yoga teacher also started me doing kapotasana, which is a serious heart- and abdomen-opening pose that requires incredible (for me) leg strength as well. This pose is a real struggle for me, and yet despite the difficulty and all the times my head has thumped on the floor trying to get in and out of it, for all it demands of me it’s also inexplicably energizing. That and months of working my bandhas and yeah, that’s probably enough yoga talk for you civilians.

And also around this time Jackson asked me a question about his Chinese horoscope, so we looked it up. Then I looked up my own, and was blown away to discover that many of us poor bastards born in the year of the rabbit have a tendency to try and be what we think other people want us to be. It’s not at all insulting to have some random web site liberate you from behavior that’s defined you since late adolescence, believe me. It’s like a whole layer of psychic long underwear came off after I read that.

I kicked ass in that job interview.

Not to get all hyperbolic on your ass, but — I feel somewhat slightly more alive, in a way? I kind of enjoy being me, all of a sudden. It’s like I got a prescription for a cosmic antidepressant and was thereby granted all the benefits of being twelve again, but with no curfew and a driver’s license.

I don’t know if this feeling will last, or what. I’m just saying, though. I feel like getting some shit done.

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