I normally have several games of Lexulous running at once, and one of them is always with Antonia. Since we can’t be bothered to actually read one another’s blogs, we use the little chat window in the game interface to communicate in 7-point Verdana.
Antonia: I thought of Let’s Panic today when I saw a when I saw a glossy pregnancy magazine with AM I IN LABOUR? TELL-TALE SIGNS on the front.
Antonia: Is there a baby coming out your fanny? Then yes.
Eden: Is there blood all over the floor? Do you feel as though your guts are in a vise? Congratulations!
Antonia: Turn to page 91 for our stain-removal tips!
Antonia: Because of course you are reading a glossy magazine while squeezing a person out of your minge.
Eden: Minge. HA.
One result of Jackson’s newfound interest in the Harry Potter saga has been that whenever he’s surprised or confounded by anything he shouts “BLOODY HELL!” at it. Sometimes he’ll then wave his (imaginary) wand at the thing, or give it a karate chop. His targets have included me (wand), the hamster (wand), Peewee dropping a slimy ball in his lap because he wants to play (karate chop, medium strength), his dinner (wand), and the news that he needs to put on some shoes before going outside (neither wand nor karate chop, but a sort of eye-rolling jinx of the sort I should probably get used to seeing more of as we round the corner into tweendom).
He’s also using the whole “which is better, the movie or the book?” debate against me, since I made the mistake of letting him watch a DVD of the first HP movie while we were still only half-way through the book. I thought it would be fun to compare the way the story unfolded in two different mediums (media?). Also, he begged me. But of course, once he’d devoured the movie it took some arm twisting to get him back into the book. (Note to self: Henceforth, FINISH reading book before showing child movie. The capacity for delayed gratification is a strong predictor of future success, so don’t fuck it up now.)
Jackson: “Movies are always better than books.”
Me: “Sometimes.”
Jackson: “No, always.”
Me: (silently) ARRRGHGHHH.
What got him involved in the book again was finding that the movie had changed some of the details of the story, BLOODY HELL. He’s still trying to wrap his mind around the point of being unfaithful to the original, and trying to hold both versions in his mind as we finish. What’s the better choice, to have Hermione tell Harry and Ron to relax and the strangling plant will let them go (movie), or having Hermione remember that the plant hates light and shining a beam from her wand so that the plant lets go (book)? I don’t have a definitive answer for that, but I very much enjoy listening to Jackson mull over the pros and cons. And then wrap his arms around my knees, yell WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA! and try to levitate me.
As luck would have it, Scholastic has agreed to let me give away five sets of the first three Harry Potter books, because Scholastic is awesome. If I were really on it I’d get Warner Bros. to chip in some DVDs for the total Jackson Kennedy experience, but I have no idea how to get them do that. So if anyone’s interested in just reading the actual books, or even sharing them with your child(ren), details are over in the sidebar on the right. WE’RE DONE, all the books are spoken for and the winners will be contacted tonight. Thanks, you guys!
Hm. Yes. I *was* interested in reading the Harry Potter books with my child. I bought him the whole set for Christmas, and we got through chapter one of the first book before he decided they were just too good to share. "Mom! These are great! I want to take them everywhere with me and read entire chapters without you! I want to read them ALL BY MYSELF because I'm a big boy!"
Little brat.
It's not that I can't be bothered to read your blog: it sends me into a self-important anonymous moralising froth, and the doctor says I have to stop it or my vaginas will fall out again.
My son (about to turn 9) has seen all the movies, and I've read all the books. I've now started reading him the books (a chance to snuggle) and he loves it. He picks up all the foreshadowing, and the anticipation of what's about to happen really gets him going. And he likes to pick out the differences between the books and the movies.
I love that you are making him read the books first, and the books are better the movies…Always!
Honestly, Harry Potter may be the one reason I'm sad I won't be having kids. I'm going to shove those books so far down my nephew's throat he's going to be pooping magical incantations.
@WCIYP your comment made me laugh out loud. I think I love you.
Yes, I, too, have been on the receiving end of many an impotent yet heartfelt curse. "Time for your bath," seems to be the biggest offender. He listened to the first 3 on cd, & watched the movies. I have read them all, so I torment him with little hints of differences. Dispensing head trips is key in my parenting plan. Eventually he will fold.
::sigh:: I'm afraid when I read the first book the only wingardium leviosa I could utilize was directed under my boobs. Need something stronger now –maybe flux capacitors or superconductors. Looking out for my friends' kids to attack, but that will take about 7 years.
I wish there was a wand and a spell to rid my tween of her eye-rolling.
funny. My 15 year old just dissed the whole INKHEART movie because it was so WRONG. It's not like that in the book– they aren't even BRITISH!
He left the room.
BLOODY HELL! I missed the give-away.
The best part about that scene in the first book is that Hermione can't figure out how to shine a light on the plant until Ron reminds her she's A WITCH. Why the hell would they leave that out of the movie??? BLOODY HELL.
P. S. The whole Tale of Despereaux book vs. film train wreck. Hey Hollywood: only turn the crappy books into movies, ok?
I'm sorry. I'll go to bed now.
I LOVE the Harry Potter, well…everything.
Even those little jelly beans.
My entire family is HP obsessed. We have six cats. Here are their names:
Harry ( all black and magical )
Hermoine ( smart and sneaky )
Ron Weasley ( who is, of course, orange )
Hagrid ( who is large and kind )
Bellatrix ( way too much trouble )
and …Kagome. Don't ask.
"One result of Jackson's newfound interest in the Harry Potter saga has been that whenever he's surprised or confounded by anything he shouts "BLOODY HELL!" at it. "
I have a friend's son who did that all through dinner. She was mortified and I thought it was hilarious. Hell, at least he was using it in the proper context.
A British child would probably be disciplined for saying 'bloody hell', sadly. Or maybe I'm just having a flashback to my (Australian) childhood and my mother who wouldn't let me use substitutes for 'shit' because SHE KNEW I WAS REALLY THINKING 'SHIT'. Sigh. My son's first words will probably be 'bloody hell' and he will probably have a bloody English accent too.