21: Fuck everybody

On November 21, 2009 by Eden M. Kennedy

I’m not a big fan of Nicolas Cage, so bear that in mind when I say this: who turned him into Steve Buscemi?

Don’t get me wrong, I think it could be an improvement. Put him in another Coen Bros. movie and I might consider taking him off my personal black list. I’m not sure who else is on that personal black list, let me think for a minute.

Personal Black List
Keanu Reeves
Hugh Hefner


I’d go onto imdb.com and troll around for actors who make me squint with displeasure, but I think I’d rather drink this glass of wine and think good thoughts about a pussycat. As the saying goes.



20 Responses to “21: Fuck everybody”

  • Does Nick Cage have a new movie out? because I thought they were just running ads for previous films since ads for his movies ALL LOOK ALIKE.

  • Keanu Reeves and Hugh Hefner would be a good start for a new cast on the Surreal Life.

  • I've noticed that the group of actors that really set me off are mouth-breathing men. Some genius figured out that by giving Keanu Reeves chewing gum you can get him to close his mouth SOMETIMES, but still. Ugh. Cage is also on this list, and so is The Tooth Cruise. And Christian Bale, who is Cruise Junior.

  • Add Christopher Walken to the Nicholas Cage/Steve Buscemi look-alikes. Strange.

  • Kiera Knightly, because she does a weird thing with her lips.

  • I like that you guys aren't being haters, just people with mild annoyances.

  • Okay, I just stumbled upon your blog and I'm laughing my ass off! You are awesome!

    Nick Cage is to acting what prune juice is to…well, juice. Okay, so I'm not so good with the analogies. But still, you know what I mean,right?

    Personally, my irritants are:
    -Gwyneth (I am so fabulous) Paltrow
    -Russell (I can get as fat as I want to, Motherfucker!) Crowe

  • GAH. I thought I was the only ONE about Nick Cage. AND I have a thing about Keanu also. He will forever be Ted to me. Partying on. Nothing more. Sorry Keanu.

  • The creepiest actor ever was the dude who played Mr. Roper on Three's Company. Hands down.

  • I hate him, too. Same movie over and over and over again and what's with that voice? *shiver*

  • I had a little crush on Philip S.H. for a while, but he seemed to quit trying. Like, we got married and he quit brushing his teeth before bed. I guess this doesn't exactly put him on a list, but he does make me feel mildly annoyed now.

  • So… all of you who don't like Nicolas Cage (and please don't take this as argument, necessarily) what are your thoughts on Leaving Las Vegas?

    I ask because even though I do like Nicolas Cage (loved Ghost Rider), I tend to agree that he is himself in most movies and most of his movies have a very similar Nicolas Cage tang to them due to him being himself all the time.

    However, I would say Leaving Las Vegas was an exception in many ways and quite possibly the most extreme bummer of a movie I have ever, ever seen. Ruined my whole day and sometimes still does even when I just remember it. It was a very successful movie on that score, it was intended to be the outrageous bummer that it was and Cage certainly did a good job of enhancing the bummerness of it.

    I am trying to think of male actors I don't care for… only one that comes to mind is Tobey Maguire. Although I did think he did a decent job in Seabiscuit. Mostly it's women I don't like. Helen Hunt, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio and the TOP of my CAN'T STAND list is Kate Capshaw. All three guilty of being themselves in EVERY movie. ONLY Helen Hunt redeemed herself once in What Women Want.

  • Naw, I'm a hater.

    I'm responding to this post so positively. Fuck everybody indeed. But please don't make me choose. Those bastards–that's who I pick. All those bastards.

  • I was going to comment that I couldn't think of anyone I really dislike

    and then I read the comments and realised that I can't stand Gwyneth or Keira and I really loath Tom Cruise and now I think of it that bloody Lopez woman's a pain…

    I'll go back and finish the other half bottle now.

  • I will forgive Cage for most anything on account of Vampire's Kiss. If you haven't seen it, rent it. So damn funny.

    My pet peeve is goddamned Julia Roberts. For men, it's goddamned Al Pacino.

  • I can't decide if it is Nic Cage or his Hair that bothers me so much. I was shocked to find that I would have to go see his new movie since Werner Herzog directed and I really love his work. Eh, probably just wait for the dvd…

  • Mine's definitely the redhaired guy on CSI Miami. I keep waiting for the next leaden shoe-word to fall out of the pauses…

    Just learned his name is David Caruso. Hm. I'm not going to go there.

    Can we mildly hate on the cinematography too? We just call it the beer-bottle-green show.

  • Nicole Kidman tends to make me throw up in my mouth a little…

  • I love this post and all the comments… it's SOOOOO Fussy! The perfect example of "We're not happy until you're not happy!" It's just so delightful and makes me giggle with Fusstastic glee.

  • Late to the party, me. But I’m feeling a lot better about Nic Cage since seeing him in Kickass. I guess I just dig his ‘crazy-funny-playin’-it-straight’ thing. Did you see that?