Comments on: Day 9: Commitment

By: Hotch Potchery

Hotch Potchery — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 13:58:40 +0000

My kids are 20 and 18 and we have never had a Santa conversation. Cookies are still left out…carrots, too. Haven't you seen The Santa Clause???

But I am with your kid, I don't watch anything that has currently dead people in them, except for Everybody Loves Raymond.

By: Xibee

Xibee — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 11:28:47 +0000

I guess I must be Buddhist or Hindu or something because I've never felt that anything in this consciousness made any sense. Never bought that Santa thing much either. I mean, they told me at 4 years old that there was a God who was good and caring. Then at 5 when I asked what was outside our planet, and outside our stars, and past all that, I found out NO ONE KNEW, NOT EVEN THE ADULTS, and then I was terrified. Since then I've calmed down a lot and everything I love I say goodbye to, just as I love it. I'm all good for that. It's illness and pain and suffering I am afraid of, for anyone. But DEATH, no. I'll have either burned out with a bang, or be somewhere new and different.

But I am not everyone, and I had no idea WHAT to say to a child who has fears. Thank you JulieG's Mom, that sounds absolutely brilliant.

What started his fear of death? Grandparents dying?

By: Jeannie

Jeannie — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 08:30:55 +0000

regarding Santa and the lies of omission…they know. on some level…they know. even though i did have to sit my 6th grade son down and just give it to him straight in the run-up to Christmas that year. i didn't want his middle school peers mocking him. he admitted he suspected…but stayed on the fence, as they all do, i think, worrying that "if you don't believe, you won't receive." that's my take.

fortunately the first two of my three have not been traumatized by no Santa. but…there's still Maggie to contend with…*shudders*

By: Badger

Badger — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 05:09:24 +0000

When my girl child was around 5 or 6 I actually came out and PROMISED her, swore up and down, that she would never die. I could tell you about the lengthy, tear-filled, angst-ridden conversation that preceded that declaration, but you can probably imagine it pretty well on your own, I'm thinking.

By: Ozma

Ozma — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 22:40:43 +0000

OK, got it. Keep lying forever. I can do that, I'm pretty sure.

I am now entering a new stage of non-denial about aging/death. But I'm keeping it to myself.

My daughter notices and is alarmed by every grey hair though. She's keeping a death watch already.

By: JulieG

JulieG — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 19:51:34 +0000

I'm commenting here for the very first time every — hi everyone! Hi Eden! I vividly remember going through a very bad phase of being afraid of death when I was six or seven years old, and specifically I was afraid of my parents dying. I remember one night I came downstairs crying after lying in the dark for a long time thinking about it, and my mom told me something that really helped me. She said that she and my dad would die eventually, but not for a long long time, and by the time they were very old, I would have my own family, and I'd have my own children and grandchildren, and she and my dad would no longer be the center of my universe. She made me feel better without lying (and no, I don't consider the omission of "though some people die young while they still have small children" to be a lie, but a smart avoidance of an unnecessary complication for the sake of a scared little kid.) It was age-appropriate, and it worked for me.

By: Maggie May

Maggie May — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 18:28:31 +0000

i once did a whole post about OMG MY FACE! and then was mortified. but i left it there. and it was true.

By: Suzanne

Suzanne — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 18:19:33 +0000

Somehow I never believed in Santa…I always knew 'from Santa' was code for 'from Mom and Dad'. Kinda takes the magic out of wondering how the presents were chosen like the fat guy really knew me huh?

By: Eden Kennedy Onassis

Eden Kennedy Onassis — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 17:52:17 +0000

Fuck. I'm a total failure as a parent. Awesome! See you all in hell.

By: JV

JV — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 17:49:17 +0000

My middle kid was devastated when he found out everyone dies. I mean, he just crumbled, I can still see it clearly today and hear him, in the most pitiful voice I've ever heard, whimper, "But I don't want to die," before bursting into tears. As agnostics, we, of course, had nothing better to offer him then the ol', "Well, SOME people believe there's a heaven, and OTHER people believe there isn't, and WE are too flaky to choose a side, but hey, our bodies feed the worms, who aerate the grass, which feeds the cows, who give us milk. Oh the circle…the circle of life!!!"

However, Santa Claus is sacred. We cling to the lie until they're old enough to humor us. It worked great with our oldest, who's 16 now. And the two younger kids, 8 and 6, are still buying into it. My parents lied to us kids about Santa, and it was awesome!