Training Day

On May 5, 2010 by Eden M. Kennedy

Jackson and I took Peewee to his first training class last week. Peewee is a good boy at home, and out in the world beyond our neighborhood he’s very well behaved, but if Jack or I take him anywhere within 500 feet of our building he becomes very territorial. He barks at neighbors he’s known for years, he lunges at other dogs. If Jackson takes him, he’s the soul of discretion, meek and mild and the baby Jesus, but if Jack or I are holding the leash, he can be sort of obnoxious.

I really want to understand what he’s trying to tell us. Sometimes I wish he could talk.

Peewee: “Put me up on the bed.”
Me: “What’s the magic word?”
Peewee: “PLEASE.”
Me: “Oof. Okay then.”
Peewee: “Thanks.”
Me: “You’re welcome.”
Peewee: “Now scratch my butt.”
Me: “You know, I’ve got a lot of work to do here.”
Peewee: “You can type with one hand.”
Me: “Uh, no, actually, I need both of them if I’m going to get anything substantial done.”
Peewee: “Then I’m going to sit on this power cord and skootch my butt back until the magnetic connector pops out of your laptop.”
Me: “Dude.”
Peewee: “Pfffffft.”
Me: “Oh, God, I can’t breathe.”
Peewee: “Hey, while you’re up, will you get me the other half of that banana?”



10 Responses to “Training Day”

  • HA!! I see your dog is just a wee bit further along on the confidence scale than mine.

    Mine has this warped dom/sub thing going on with the husband. He goes off and gets into the garbage repeatedly– he fully expects an ears-back shouting session and a time-out on the balcony. I wish he WERE territorial like yours in a way, it would mean he was more in control. As it is, he’d hand over our jewelry to the next chump walking through the door when we’re not home.

    But the FARTS! I can sympathize….

  • we have a bulldog, too – love to read your stories about yours. ours manages up on the bed just fine, but damn us to hell if he can’t stay there all night! and he can clear a room in 2.3 seconds flat….especially after a banana!

  • My bulldog is like that too! I have a trainer coming by the house on Saturday to see what we can do because she has the scariest bark and all the neighbors want to do is pet her! But once we get her out of her element, she’s happy and friendly and a completely different dog. Weird.

  • Peewee will bark at a leaf hitting the window, and then Jack jumps out of his skin. Dogs are such a gift.

    Peewee can’t stay in a bed all night long, either, he likes to migrate around the house in the dark.

    ButtersandRoses, if your trainer has any good ideas, please let me know!

  • I think this may be your best work yet. And no, i am NOT being sarcastic. you managed to capture the essence of dogness here.

  • I keep getting *this* close to getting a dog and then I chicken out. I meet someone on the street with the breed I’m looking at or some dog of roughly the same shape or size and the dog owner scares me out of it. But parents used to do that to me about kids and I had one of those. So I’ll probably get the guts eventually.

  • My dogs walk all over me, too. It’s awesome.

  • I spend tons of time talking to my dogs (not that there’s anything wrong with that) and I often fill in their side of the conversation.

    You captured the essentials of conversation with dogs. Except my dogs are Cocker Spaniels, and their two favorite topics of conversation are “I’m starving,” and “Don’t even think about trying to sneak out of this room without me.”

  • I’ve been trying to catch up on some blogs that I’ve gone too long without reading and this post cracked me up. Literally laughing out loud. Lucky for me, I’m working from home today and don’t have to explain the outburst to anyone (except the cats).