Applegasm

On November 25, 2010 by Eden M. Kennedy

What happens is that you go apple tasting. Apple tasting! Whoever heard of such a thing! You’re swept away by the novelty of the experience and when you come to you find you’ve purchased a jar of apple butter, a handful of disgusting apple-cinnamon taffy, and a ten-pound bag of the most delicious apples you’ve ever had in your life.

It slowly dawns on you, however, that you can’t eat ten pounds of raw apples, even if they are made of melted halos and sunshine. You think a pie will get rid of a fair amount, but a pie only absorbs six or seven of the fifty-plus apples now in your kitchen. The child refuses the homemade apple sauce; the dog will only eat Fujis; the tortoise is sick of everything but broccoli. Okay, your husband ate one Splendor with brie. ONE. The responsibility of consuming the rest of these apples has fallen to you. Don’t think about your friend with the compost pile! Compost piles are for quitters.

Don’t give up hope. If anyone can figure out a way to muscle their way through eight pounds of apples before they go bad, it’s you.

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18 Responses to “Applegasm”

  • There is a place here called Gopher Glen in See Canyon that does that with the apple tasting – so fun! And believe me, if you follow their instructions and put them in a crisper drawer with a small amount of water in the bottom – they will stay good for a LONG time. You’ll be surprised how fast they go!
    Also – slice em up with butter and sugar cinnamon and sprinkle with a mixture of butter and dry yellow cake mix. Bake. Fast cobbler. Delish.

  • Bunch of cut up watermelon + 1/3 bag of frozen blueberries + one cut up apple = a smoothie that takes like *frozen blended* halos and sunshine, with or without the rum of your choice.

  • I believe in you.

  • mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
    apples

    *drool*

  • Find a friend with a hot water bath canning pot. Make apple chutney, applesauce, and the Joy of Cooking applesauce cake with caramel icing. Also, I got a dehydrator off of Freecycle this year. Dried apples and pears are way easy to make, and are tasty snacks.

  • I say make a big bunch of applesauce anyway and stick it in a couple of empty Mott’s jars. The kid will never know. DONE.

  • Damn, I love apples. But 10 pounds? All I can think is: canker sore. Ow.

  • Know what’s really good? Apples and burrata on a pizza with kale and garlic. Oh, and I throw on a few walnuts, because walnuts are yum.

  • There are a whole range of baked goods that call for grated apple. That could get rid of a few.

    Also a sliced apple on a spinach and rocket salad with balsamic dressing and walnuts is quite delish.

    Also apples and nutella.

  • You win at keeping the doctor away.

  • Get a flat of the smallest canning jars…I think they are 4 ounces. Slice up the apples and season for apple pie. Line the jars with pie crust & then put the apple filling in. Top with a small circle of pie crust, re-apply the lid, and put them in the freezer. They make the perfect single serving, travel-safe apple pies, once baked from frozen @ about 375 until the apples are bubbling and the crust is golden. They fit perfectly in lunch boxes, and you can cook as many or as little as you need. They are also fun for luncheons or dinner parties, and PERFECT for when you need a little treat for those really crappy days. If you have a toaster oven, you can even cook them in there, so you don’t have to heat the big oven up! I got this idea from notmartha.org

  • It’s inconvenient, I know, but I would take them all off of your hands. I ear baked apples with oatmeal, cinnamon and sugar on it for breakfast. Ok, and sOme butter okay and some milk or cream warmed up in the microwave. I use peaches in the summer. Just bake a huge old loaf pan full and heat it up when you wanna. Of course I can eat the same thing for weeks on end.

    Apple envy!!!

  • OMG yes! I know what you mean! One time we went apple picking in Solvang and somehow managed to come home with enough to fill the crispers and the bottom shelf of the fridge. You can can apple pie filling, as it turns out, so we made a load of that in quart canning jars and gave it away to the baking-challenged for Festivukkahmas.

  • Make Apple Butter. Use this recipe, it’s amazing. I did it a couple of years ago and my kids still talk about it. Wish I had the time and apples this year.

    http://www.101cookbooks.com/archives/000125.html

  • Ooo am I too late? You can use a ton of apples by making apple leather. If they are sweet apples, you don’t even need to add any sugar. Just make applesauce (no chunks) and spread it out on cookie sheets. Put it in your oven on extreme low (like 150 or 170) for a very long time. My oven is gas and I find I have to leave the door open a crack, but electric ovens don’t have this issue. So just bake on low and when it is all dried up you peel it off the cookie sheet and slice it and roll it up in plastic wrap and then you have the delicious taste of fall stored in your cupboard all winter.

  • OMG I did the same thing. I did manage to eat a bunch, but then I found out that you can freeze them as apple pie filling. Peeled, cut up, squirted with lemon juice and covered in cinnamon and sugar, then stuffed in a freezer bag all nice and flat. Bonus: super fast apple pie mid-winter.

    good luck!

  • Dude. That’s why caramel dip was invented.

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