And I haven’t vacuumed in weeks

On December 3, 2010 by Eden M. Kennedy

One of the jokes in Let’s Panic the book is about how the Internet is such a satisfying and entertaining resource for new parents. Alice and I single out six web sites for having been particularly helpful throughout our own early months as first-time mothers. The list is fake, of course–we would never go to the Internet for advice, my God! Who would do such a thing?–but it occurred to us that we should register those sites and put something up on them as a little reward for diligent readers (and not-so-diligent readers who just happen to see this post).

I volunteered to take care of it.

The thing is, I might pretend to know what I’m doing on a daily basis, but I don’t have much in the way of that techy vocabulary you need if you do anything more than write blog posts with a sharpened spoon by candlelight. I know what an IP is, and a UI, and a USB, but beyond that I’m easily flummoxed. So I opened up a help ticket and the lovely people at Liquid Web began baffling me immediately.

Me: OH MY GOD–WHAT?? I only want to do what’s easiest and least expensive, whether it’s my nameserver or yours. I don’t have enough expertise to know the difference frankly. What do you recommend? My goal is to quickly set up 6 domains and get them set up with WordPress so I can have them running as soon as possible.

Me: Huh? I have to wear a costume?

Me: I understand numbers, it’s words I have a hard time with. Also, you are nice. Sorry to be such a dummy.

And then, instead of spending another 36 hours begging a series of quietly exasperated help desk genies to walk me through every step of creating LOBSTERFIGHTS.ORG, I wrote to Joe and offered him money to sort it out for me.

These are the lengths to which we go to elicit a minor chuckle, my friends. This is also why my plants are dead.



20 Responses to “And I haven’t vacuumed in weeks”

  • LiquidWeb fail. :( Ask for TravisZ! He’s their best support guy evar.

  • Mike lost me at “Hello”.

    Also, if I wanted to park my domain in PIMS, I would just sit my ass on the couch and eat a lot of chocolate.

  • I’m hyperventilating a little just reading this. I feel like I’m the dog in a Gary Larson cartoon cocking my head to the right and hearing “blah, blah, blah, food, blah, blah, blah, Rex!”

  • I am already laughing about the fake sites, so mission accomplished!


    I know I’ve said that before, but really. Thank you.

  • I’m with the Pims on the couch and the calling of Art. Huh? Me no speaky in sentences full of mostly acronyms. Mmmm cookies are meant to be eaten. Heh lobsterfighting.

  • Would it be rude to share that I have a headache now? ;-)

  • I have added several domains to my site hosted with and it wasn’t that hard and they were only $10.

  • One of those “for real, I’m laughing out loud” moments.

    I’m having site design issues, so maybe it compounds the funny.

  • is so much cheaper and very helpful, too.

    Or maybe you just have a sense of loyalty to liquid web.

  • I’m glad everyone knows about cheaper hosts, I’m sure there are a million out there, but I imagine that the cost of reconstructing everything I’ve got going at LW with another host would wipe out any $5 “savings” immediately. This is one crazy help desk exchange out of years of fantastic work on LW’s part.

  • Yikes. I do customer support that occasionally requires that I instruct people how to change some domain stuff, and even I’m confused by these responses! I’m glad you got help eventually, but it’s a shame you had to pay for it. Setting up a custom domain and/or hosting is an inherently confusing process, but I imagine it wouldn’t have to be if registrars and hosts took some time to make things more clear for the many that don’t speak geek.

  • My eyes glazed over while reading Mike’s emails so that I couldn’t actually follow what he was saying. These things are why I keep my husband around. All of that is his job.

    Glad I’m not the only one out there like this.

  • I’m sorry we lost you. :) If you’re not understanding anything we say, or if you want to understand more, feel free to ask for clarification. We’re here to take care of as much as we can for you, but we’re more than willing to help you understand as well.

    If you (or anyone else) have any questions that I can answer, feel free to email (benny at liquidweb dot com) me directly, or give us a call 800.580.4985, or respond here. I (or any of our technicians) would love to explain any part of how the internet works!

    Let me know if I can help with this, or with anything else. :)

  • I love *LOVE* LiquidWeb. With that said, I’m sure they make a drinking game out of my correspondence with them. Every time I write them I start off with, “Please talk to me like I’m in the third grade. My knowledge of all things related to my website do not move beyond what I can do on WordPress.” People like me don’t really deserve to have a website, really, but LiquidWeb sort of pats me on the head and makes me feel pretty. I want to bake old lady cookies for them.

    I cannot wait for Let’s Panic to arrive in my mailbox.

  • Angela, I think that’s what I’ll do from now on, because I ended up with the equivalent of someone in a white coat who spoke very slowly and loudly and I got exactly what I needed.

  • Best post ever! I especially loved all the comments! I love your people!

  • Funny! Sadly, you really need a real live person to walk you through the screens of information to park and point domains. It’s not bad once you do it, but it is obtuse, no?

  • OMG, so much laughing!

  • I play Words with Friends with Joe. He’s so cool he’s Joe Cool.