First-grade boy standing in a mud puddle #1: Nail polish is for girls.
First-grade boy standing in a mud puddle #2: I put on nail polish once.
Boy #1: You did?
Boy #2: It was cool. It was red! I liked it.
Boy #1: (world turning upside down)
Boy #2: (realizing gender normativity must be restored) I only wore it for a day.
Boy #1: Then what happened?
Boy #2: It came off. Now I think nail polish is dumb.
Boy #1: My feet are soaked.
At the Post Office
Chatty Customer: I need to insure this package, I’m returning a ring!
Chatty Clerk: Oh, that’s too bad! You bought it online?
Customer: No, I bought it in the store. I buy all my jewelry [out-of-state].
Clerk: What’s wrong with it? Did it break?
Customer: No, it’s too big.
Clerk: Oh, so they’re going to resize it for you?
Customer: No, because of the design it can’t be resized, they’re just going to send me a smaller size.
Clerk: (confused) But did you try it on when you bought it?
Clerk: Did it fit?
Customer: It didn’t fit when I got home.
Clerk: (judgmental staring)
Customer: I need some stamps, too!