and it’s also true that I lost the map

On October 5, 2011 by Eden M. Kennedy

First of all, if you’re actually visiting fussy.org and not reading this through a feed reader, you’ll have noticed two new badges up in the sidebar. One is for The Popcorn Whisperer, the weekly movies-and-TV column I’m doing for Babble, where so far I have covered such pertinent subjects as The Smurfs Movie, Midnight in Paris, The Silence of the Lambs, Jaws, and a round-up of TV dads illustrated with hand-drawn Venn diagrams. The other badge in my sidebar leads you to Faking It With Mrs. Kennedy, the weekly current events column I’m doing for The Stir. So far I’ve written two things there: “Which world leader is the angriest THIS week?” and a thing about Andy Rooney retiring, and it seems I’m trying to become the next Gail Collins. The learning curve is steep, but I may finally have learned to balance serious news and irony by around 2013. If they don’t fire me before then, I’ll keep you posted on my progress.

You may also notice that my hair is two different lengths in my two sidebar masthead badges. This is because one photo is newer than the other, and reflects the fact that my hair, like the times, it is a-changin’. Yes, I am once again taking daily photos of my hair’s progress but I’m doing it secretly, using an app called Everyday, which means that eventually I’ll be able to post one of those movies of my head where the background keeps changing and I’m slowly growing a beard. Although as hard as I have tried, beard growth still eludes me, I’ve had some success with head growth. I’m finding it’s easier to do without the daily scrutiny of the Internet, however.

Crazily and on short notice, I flew to New York last week to shoot a video with Alice, M.J. Tam (who I kept calling DJ Tam, like she was toting a crate full of vinyl to the club), and one other secret special person sitting in a hot room with three cameras on us while we had a series of occasionally disturbing and amusing conversations sponsored by Clorox. Clorox scared up a nice lunch for us, too, and put me up in a decent hotel that happened to be a block-and-a-half away from the Carnegie Deli. (Did you know that the Carnegie Deli is open from 6:30 a.m. until 4:00 a.m. every day? I don’t know what they do with their 90 minutes of down time. Maybe they have a Bleach Break™.)

So I flew into New York on Sunday, we did the shoot on Monday, and on Tuesday morning I was flying back to California but I didn’t hear my alarm go off because I’d been up too late the night before*, but I magically awoke at 7:11 a.m. Since my ride to the airport was leaving at 7:45, I threw on some clothes and ran to Seventh Avenue.

*Jackson, who was home with a babysitter because Jack has an ongoing gig Monday nights in L.A., was having trouble going to sleep, so he sent me a series of sad text messages without really thinking through the whole three-time-zones-away thing. And really, when you’re ten years old and you miss your mom, you don’t care that she has to get up in less than six hours to catch a plane to come back to you.

I had promised Jack I’d buy him a t-shirt from the Carnegie Deli, but while I was there I got another idea.

Jack is the only person I know who would actually entertain the idea of a pickle-scented candle. But instead, while they were digging for a shirt in Jack’s size, I asked the hostess if she thought I could get through airport security with a cheesecake.

“Oh, sure, people do it all the time,” she said. “They’re frozen.” She had a Jamaican accent. She pointed to the deli counter behind me. “Ask him, he’ll get one for you.”

They had three sizes of cheesecake. The large was the size of my entire carry-on bag; the medium was the size of my laptop bag; but the small was just right.

I’m not sure I’ve ever seen my husband as happy as he was when I pulled a cheesecake out of my purse.

For Jackson I brought back something fuzzy and green from the J. Crew sale rack:


Hello, nerd boyfriend.

Comments

comments

17 Responses to “and it’s also true that I lost the map”

  • I love you for many reasons. But today that reason is that you used a lyric from my favorite Liz Phair song for the title of this post. And that makes me feel like I could curl up on the couch with you and watch movies and not talk. And still feel like I had a great night.

  • OMG, I was staying at the Sheraton on 7th last week and the first meal I ate in New York was at the Carnegie Deli. My server was an 80-year-old who has worked there for 14 years and been a server for 58 years. I wanted to take her and the cheesecake home. Also, I smelled each candle at the cash and contemplated buying some but knew that they’d never fit in my bag. If I had seen you there, I would’ve completely plotzed from the wonder of it all.

  • Yay! More Mrs. Kennedy for me. All for me.

    Can’t wait to see your beard. If I had a beard, I would laser it away. Not because I am a conformist like that but just because it would be a good chance to use a laser and that seems very cool and Logan’s Run and I don’t get many opportunities to experience that future as imagined in the 1970s.

    I wish I had something interesting to say in this comment. I love NY? I guess I can say: I never would have noticed the links on the side. Nor your hair. So I am glad you pointed this out.

  • I am totally loving the fact that there is another deli RIGHT NEXT to the Carnegie! It’s like the owner thought, “If the line is too long over there, then some impatient person will be forced to frequent my establishment.” And because it’s NY, I’m sure they do a brisk business. Personally, I must to go to Shopsin’s when I make my pilgrimage.

  • I can forgive you for the map but stealing my lighter was really uncool.

  • I know, and now it’s broken, too!

    J, I keep wanting to go to Shopsin’s and then I keep forgetting.

    Snozma, lasers sound painful, plus I think I’m getting to the age where people EXPECT me to have a beard.

    Maggie, I WANT TO MAKE YOU PLOTZ.

    Yolanda. Dude.

  • I recognised the Divorce Song lyric instantly too. Ooh I haven’t heard that in too long, I’ll dig it out to listen to on the way to work next week. Thanks Mrs K!

  • The next time I go to NYC I’ll tell you in advance when and where I’ll be so that you can show up and make me plotz. Hint: besides loving delis, I also enjoy spending time and money at the MOMA gift shop, and knowing I can drop into a Duane Reade on every block of Manhattan should I suddenly need Advil or gum.

  • the secret special person has a right up in huffington post today that makes her a bit less special. No reflection on you – just fyi.

  • oh ffs —- write up. not right up. hahahah.

  • Wow…Jackson looks exactly like you. Or maybe like your Nerd Boyfriend doppleganger…which might be a band name.

  • I saw Nerd Boyfriend Doppleganger in ’88 at The Continental Club. Double bill with Scruffy the Cat. Unrelated deli tip: if you really want to plotz, get the gribenes.

  • Gail Collins is my favorite NYT columnist. No one can make me laugh when I should be crying like Gail Collins. Except maybe you…now that you mention it, I can totally see the similarities.

  • Oh to be flown to New York for a brief and tawdry affair with Clorox. You are livin’ my dream, lady. Livin’ my dream!