On March 3, 2012 by Eden M. Kennedy

We are here in our new house and I have a stress cold. I’d show you some photos but all you’d see would be hardwood floors covered in garbage bags full of socks and underwear, because when you move from a place with tons of built-in storage to a place with no built-in storage, furniture doesn’t just magically appear like I somehow thought it would. I may have subconsciously hoped that I’d open up the garage and find the old wooden dresser I bought for $40 from the girl who was moving out of my room on Dean Street in 1988. (If that does happen, you’ll be the first ones invited to join Mrs. Kennedy’s Church of the Miraculous Furniture Manifestation.) Nor do bluebirds fly in to fold your laundry and re-hem that skirt you bought from H&M that seems to be made out of wrinkle-insistent material. I just made that up! Wrinkle-insistent! That’s the kind of thing I can do when only one of my nostrils is functioning. Since our health insurance was canceled on March 1st, my Furniture Church plans are on hold so that I can temporarily become a Christian Scientist. I’ve managed to pray away a full-blown sinus infection, and Jack fixed the knife gash in his hand with Super glue. So far, so good!

When we first got here Peewee wouldn’t go out to the backyard to pee by himself. He’d spent his whole little four-and-a-half-years-long life in a condo where he had to be escorted outdoors on a leash every day, so when we got here and shoved him out the back door, naked as the day he was born, he’d just stand there uncertainly, waiting for someone to yell, “NO! STAY!” and loop a rope around his neck. But when that didn’t happen, he just waited with his little bursting bowels until one of us walked him out to the grass and stood next to him while he did his thing. It was kind of funny until the night I stepped in something that made my shoes sad. It was a lesson in timely lawn-maintenance for us all.

I have a lot more to say but I’ve discovered a pile of bills that was due three weeks ago, and my checkbook just resurfaced, and I feel as though these two simultaneous occurrences have some deeper meaning that will all become clear if I can figure out how to manifest a roll of first-class stamps.



18 Responses to “Moved”

  • Wait…hardwood floors covered in garbage bags full of socks and underwear? That’s like our place every day. Sounds like you’re settled then!

    Congrats on the new abode. Hopefully the setting up and furnishings will be the fun part. Fresh starts are always inspiring.

  • congrats on your move and sorry about no insurance, but you made me laugh with your prayers and conjurings… feel better and deep breaths (dont mean to sound trite, but i always forget to breathe during stressful moments).

  • We moved 6 months ago, and I still can’t find my Nook. I think the movers stole it. Oh, wait. We didn’t use movers. I guess I just lost it.

  • god, moving is stressful on all available levels. Sorry that yours is being compounded with a cold. We moved two years ago from a house we’d only been in for four years, yet still I just wandered around for days like a lost lamb, numbly acknowledging the new house’s space, light and hardwood floors, but never believing for a moment that it could ever truly FEEL like home. What a petulant a pain in the ass I am.

  • We moved a little over a year ago from a shack (and that’s the politest term I can use to describe the place-one day karma’s coming for that landlord) to an actual house where everything works. And by we I mean I moved 90% of the stuff, with help from a couple of friends with trucks since I was on Christmas break. We spend the first week flipping light switches and turning the ceiling fans off and on, just because everything worked, and we could. Next time I’m paying somebody to do the work. I’m too damn old to do that again.

  • So. Funny! I moved across the country 3 years ago with my husband, a 1 year old, a 3 year old and 2 spastic dogs. I think reading your post was the first time I have been able to see the humor in that particular situation. Thank you! And NEVER AGAIN.

  • 4 words. Online bill-pay. Embrace it.

    And in a separate but same comment: Congrats on a successful move. Moving sucks. Glad you survived. And to be posting so soon. Impressive.

  • House … no storage … serious back yard? OMG ARE YOU IN GOLETA? I totally hope we’re neighbors. I have sugar to lend! (also, citrus)

  • I wish I had a backyard so I could send my dogs out to poop on their own. Man, do I look forward to early morning where I’m not standing out on my tiny patch of grass in my pajamas waiting for my dogs to do their business. I bet when the day comes, when we do have a backyard, they probably won’t know what to do either.

  • Glad that the actual moving is behind you. One day at a time seems to be useful advice to me. Use the netti pot for your sinuses. My husband swears by it and it is almost free.

  • Surviving a move is no small trick. Congratulations!

  • PRO TIP: Start calling your trash-bags full of socks and underwear “beanbag chairs,” and just like that, poof! You have manifested a solution to both your storage and furniture crises!

  • I think the biggest selling factor for buying the house we were renting was the fact that we wouldn’t have to move anything. Cute house. Right price and plus our stuff is already there.

    I have a dresser I would give you (for free) if you would 1. clean it out for me and 2. drive all the way to KCMO to get it.

  • It looks pretty!

    I have beautiful furniture and all kinds of stuff I got off craigslist. Truly. But that was a few years ago.

    Eventually it might be fun to fix things up–I hope! My interior decor theory is that brightly colored curtains distract the eye from the horrifying detritus every other place you look but everyone has a different decorating philosophy.

  • I really like to throw old stuff away so I can buy new stuff. I’ll be right over to help.

  • Moving always reminds of our first big move. “Day Four: Still no sign of the coffee maker.”

    I’m going to say Congratulations! and let you guess whether I’m talking about the new house or “wrinkle insistent”.

  • Oh man. I closed on a house a week ago today and moved this past weekend. It’s like you ripped the first few lines of this post straight from my head. Best of luck to you guys settling into the new place! Ours is a sea of boxes, suitcases and trash bags filled with linens. (But it’s still pretty awesome.)

  • Our dog does the same thing. I believe she wants credit for her actions. On the other hand, she “does” on command and promptly so I don’t mind going with her.