Last week Jack and Jackson went on their annual camping trip to Big Sur, so I took the opportunity to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling and figure out what to do next with my life. Meditating like this doesn’t normally produce results for me beyond maybe an angry nap, but for once I tried to be honest with myself. I was inspired by a meditation teacher I recently read an interview with. The full interview is here, but the money quote is here:
Safransky: What’s the single most important piece of advice you would give to someone who wants to awaken?
Adyashanti: Get in touch with what you really want. What does awakening mean for you? Do you want it because it sounds good? Then you’ve borrowed someone else’s idea of it. What is it that’s intrinsic to you? What’s been important to you your whole life? If you touch upon that, you are in touch with a force that no teacher or teaching could ever give you. You are quite on your own in finding it. No one can tell you what that is. Once you feel it, once you’re clear on it, everything else will unfold from there. If you need a teacher, you’ll find one. If you need a teaching, you’ll bump into it, probably in the most unexpected way.
For me, I realized that I needed to start small and work from a really simple place and then see what happens. I wanted to step outside the boundaries of writing/blogging for awhile, so the next day during my lunch hour I charged up my point-and-shoot and made a little video. It’s sloppy and it’s 4:00 long, which is about twice the average amount of time most people spend on this site, so I’m begging your indulgence.
(Here’s the link to the video clip I use when I’m talking about the polygraph test for plants.)
(Also, in the video I say “paganist” but what I really mean is “animist.” And the fact that I talk all that time without tying everything up in a meaningful conclusion is the result of
my freewheeling, unscripted narrative me needing to shut up and eat and then get back to work.)