I like nothing more than a good holiday where I feel completely justified in buying myself a bunch of stuff that celebrates just how awesome I am. Also, if it’s a national holiday that excludes people who identify primarily as male, and divides women into uneasy procreational factions? EVEN BETTER.
I’ve been unloading a lot of stuff on eBay and Craigslist, so I felt like as long as I’m stimulating the local economy and a certain day is just around the corner, I could go ahead and buy myself a little treat.
Yesterday was the publication day for “Let’s Panic About Babies!” and I spent it badgering people on Twitter, eating omelets with Alice, harassing a nice young man at the NYU bookstore who knew that five copies of the book just had to be around here SOMEWHERE, and shopping for shoes that I didn’t actually need. (No actual money was spent. Gotta earn back that advance!)
In a startling shift of habit that was long overdue, I have stopped listening to music altogether. That’s right, you heard me. Stop before you waste a stamp sending me tickets to that GWAR reunion. I don’t care if Prince and Stevie Wonder are sitting on an overturned washtub in front of Starbucks singing the Jackson Five’s greatest hits and handing out purple jellybeans. I’ve listened until the meaning has been drained of every song I ever loved and now I’m not getting up off this couch.
Last minute shoppers! And those who need to give a little gift to themselves! I have a few Adam and Eve t-shirts left, and if you order one today I’ll upgrade to Priority shipping at no extra cost. So you might get the shirt before Christmas! Or you might not. You can order them on my t-shirt page.
I’m taking orders for Adam & Eve logo t-shirts! They’re not printed yet, but you can go to my t-shirt page to order them. I decided to put them on gray because white shirts never sell. Also, my t-shirt guy asked me to change out the Old English font for ink-related reasons, so I used American Typewriter and I think it looks pretty good. (It will look better in real life than it does in my crappy jpeg, but since the shirts don’t actually exist yet we have to make do.) Shirts ordered now will be shipped out the second week in December!
P.S. Please let me know if you think gray is lame.
I just realized that I’ve been selling these t-shirts for FIVE YEARS now without raising prices, and it’s time. The post office has raised mailing rates like three times since 2005, the cost of the shirts themselves has gone up twice, my t-shirt guy went to Vegas, came back, moved his business into a giant space (he has air conditioning now!), and I’ve been absorbing every increase. I can absorb no more! I must raise prices, but before I do that I’m giving you, The Internet, one last chance to get shirts at the old prices before I raise them on September 1. Thank you for your kind attention!
After seven months of diligent preparation–actually, it was one month of enthusiastic instruction, followed by six months of half-hearted repetition–I have finally taught Jackson a word in sign language. Yesterday at lunch I asked him if he wanted a refill on his cantaloupe, and he made the sign for “more.” His expression was a little tentative, like he wasn’t sure it was going to work, so I tried to encourage him by completely flipping out. His next sign will probably be, “whoa, mom, be cool.”
Mmm, the sheets, the dreams, the possibilities, the . . . zzzzzz. I’m out cold in less than two minutes, frequently while Jack is still catching up on Yankees highlights. I read somewhere that if it takes you less than twenty minutes to fall asleep you’re sleep deprived. And so I must conclude that I am heavily deprived of vital shut-eye time, I . . . zzzzzz.
If you come here some days and I have posted an e-mail joke from my father and a link to someone else’s site, that is code for “He woke us up at 5:45 this morning, I am still a zombie, here are some things that I hope you’ll find amusing, I’ll be back when the fog burns off.”
Just so you know.